Why Kids Lack Resilience

I talked to Abigail Shrier about what parents and mental health experts are inadvertently doing to rob young people of the resilience and grit that past generations had.

It’s a spicy episode and you can see it on my main channel. Enjoy.

[jerrys]

This is so true. I was raised by strict, overprotective parents who deliberately isolated me to “protect me” from “bad influences”, so once I became an adult, I had no friends, no social skills, tons of anxiety, and no ability to handle life. I’m now doing my best to take the reins and fix this stuff in myself, but I’m going to have to do so much more work than if I had just been allowed to live as a kid.

[kewoshk]

I was one of those such kids, brought up by an overprotective family in a place a bit far away from the civilization. I had no other kids other than some of my cousins to play and hang out with. My school was also far away, it took 45 minutes or more to get there by car, and I had no contact with my peers outside school. It is no wonder when I started my university education everything sucked. I had to suspend my education for a year (my anxiety was that bad.) It didn’t protect me from predators too, still got my private parts touched when I was still a fucking elementary school student. What I’m trying to say is simple: don’t be an overprotective parent. It doesn’t really protect your kid from anything, and it screws them for life. It took me 12 years of suffering, therapy and a crap ton of SSRI usage to get here. Mark’s blog posts also helped a lot, and now I’m here to watch his content here.

[Dragonmoon]

Parenting is like walking a tightrope while juggling chainsaws.

[coolbreeze]

This whole world is one big experiment. Kids need to learn this from an early age. Nothing is guaranteed. Sometimes things are happy and fun and sometimes they're sad and horrible.
Constant escapism into TV, videogames, shopping, junk food, etc. isn't going to help them. Experiencing the lows are just as important as feeling the highs.
There's also the matter of messed up gut health in children that gets worse generation to generation. Too much bad food, antibiotic use and overly sterile environments. The gut microbiome is responsible for serotonin production so poor gut health harms the foundation of mental and emotional health.

[fkanous]

Real talk here. We don't raise kids. We raise future adults. Kids are protected from life too much these days.

[jackiechan]

Let the kids play outside like the 90s

[frederickthomas]

Growing up going through hard situations built who you are, but then having kids you don't want them to have those hard situations you had, so they grow up without the resilience you have.

[stMarDiv]

I know it’s not for everyone; in fact, enlisting in the military is far more difficult than being accepted into college (especially today). However, I can honestly say signing an eight-year contract and leaving my hometown for the Marine Corps at 20 is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life.

Prior to the Corps, I was a stoner underachiever and kicked out of college for a year due to failing grades (0.8 GPA first semester, 1.4 GPA second). Spent a solid nine months hating my life, feeling sorry for myself. But then I woke up one day and made the impulsive decision to talk to a MC recruiter.


Went from a 1.2 at Miami University (Ohio) to earning my undergrad with a 3.8 and eventually doing strategic communications at The Pentagon.

I have no doubt the confidence and discipline learned in the Marines has played an integral role in shaping me into who I am today. And it all started with me wanting to do one thing: go way, way outside my comfort zone and learn to handle adversity.

[jfrazz]

At a botanic garden they send their interns out to young trees and have to shake them every morning. This triggers the saplings to grow stronger, longer, deeper roots, so that when a real storm comes, they can survive it

[michaelmorris]

It's also how you as a parent respond and treat them when those disappointments appear in their lives

[Mister.a]

This is why we here in Africa, kid are resilient

[themacocko]

I was really shocked at the comment section of Mark's full postcast video for this.

A huge part of what Mark teaches is radical responsibility and the comments were saturated with people blaming other people, things and happenings ext.

I absolutely couldn't believe that these people were of Mark's audience.

I do realize that this has turned into a political argument. God i hate politics!!

[catmq]

I think it’s not just overprotective parenting but the endemic anxiety and manipulation of said overprotective parent. If a parent overreacts to normal misfortunes, and especially if the parent tries scaring the child into behaving by implying they are too fragile and the world too nasty to handle, why would that same child want to interact with the world at all?

[yvonnejackson]

I wasn’t allowed to take risks as a teenager so I took risks every chance I got as a young adult but without the help and guidance of a parent.
I let my daughter take risks when often I was terrified for her safety. As a result she saw what kind of lives her friends lived. She grew into a strong compassionate adult who makes me very proud.

[sherececocco]

We can't give what we don't have. Our children suffer each of the lacks parents have. Such is life. We are all doing the best with what we have. Most child predators are in the child's circle not far away. Antidote would be not labeling children, children. They are human beings. Adults are not now and probably never have been superior to children. Different and equal. They are free wil aka wild things naturally. Teaching them to trust themselves is a parents goal and most parents have not learned to truly trust themselves. Someday maybe.

[jedisith]

Funny first we did it to dogs, stuck at home and unable to handle the big old world. Now it's on to the children 🙄

[wplants]

I read a comment saying they never let their kids sleep over at their friends houses ever…that seems extreme to me. The reason was that they could get abused or harmed. Still…seems extreme

[frontierfishingwithryanmac]

This was a GREAT episode! Was glued to it from beginning to end! Looking to purchase her book

[_aidid]

Many people do not grasp this issue since it is counter-intuitive

[MaximVoihanski-ej]

🤯🤯🤯 that explains at least one reason why people are so insanely sensitive