Coraline (2009) | A Child Friendly Horror About Abuse

Coraline captures what it can really feel like to be a kid. And sometimes that's not great. Let's take a look at Coraline and how the writer Neil Gaiman uses our childhood experiences to make Coraline such a unique film, and why that matters.

✊ THANKS TO
Big thanks to everyone who lent their voice for this video! Please check out their channels! (in order of appearance)

And my wife Nina for helping me with the editing on this video! It's been great being able to work on these projects together

🔥 PATRON SPOTLIGHT

💜 SUPPORT THE CHANNEL

🎥 VIDEOS TO WATCH IF YOU LIKED THIS

0:00 Intro
1:11 Why is Coraline so Relatable?
6:02 What the F**k is Child Oppression Anyway?
12:13 The Bed You Wake Up In
16:08 It's A Small World
19:33 Why Coraline Matters
25:10 Conclusion
26:18 Recommendations & Thanks!

📚 SOURCES & RELATED READING

“Corporal punishment bans and physical fighting in adolescents: an ecological study of 88 countries” by Elgar FJ, Donnelly PD

Channel Art by @enbodie

#Coraline #NeilGaiman

[NatLaS]

I love this video, in fact I like any essay that uses Coraline as stepping stool.
But going back to your point of “Children should be treated like capable humans”(which I absolutely agree with), I think the first time it really *really* hit me that most people don’t consider children as fully fledged human is seeing how much... liberties people take with them.

For example, as an adult, you would NEVER go up to another person you’ve never met and just feel free to touch them, manhandle them, kiss them or whatever. When I worked as a cashier, the number of times I saw strangers grab hold a kid they don’t know and pinch their cheeks, or pat their heads or ask for a kiss was honestly terrifying to me. You don’t KNOW that child! Why are you touching them?! Why are the parents not saying anything?! God forbid when the parents *insist* the child agrees to give a hug or kiss even when they [the child] are clearly uncomfortable doing so.
And somehow the kids are supposed to differentiate between that and “stranger danger” all on their own? Yeah right. How do learn to enforce your boundaries when you’ve never been showed what they actually are?

[Appyboi]

This video reminded me of something my mom use to say in regards to children and their opinions. Cause in her own words "Dont call them a child, they're a little person." Cause thats what children were to her, small people with big opinions that deserved to be heard. And i just wish more people like her, you, and niel existed in the world if not for us, then for all the little people.

[rachel]

i have only one memory of how it felt to be a child. i remember thinking more than once "i'm not an idiot, please stop acting like i am" and i felt condescended to

[sanijadsmiles]

I was a camp councillor for kids 7-8 and I was hands down their favourite, they adored me and would always come to me for everything. All the other councillors asked me what I did that made them love me so much, I always said I had no idea. It’s only now looking back that I realize what I did different. I treated them like normal people, like how I treated any other adult. I wouldn’t treat them like a “child”, I wouldn’t talk down to them, and I would always treat them with respect. That’s why they favoured me and respected me. People tend to think kids are dumb but they’re not, they’re actually quite intelligent and understanding, and they are deserving of our respect.

[asvenos]

TW for religious trauma, CA, and SA!!!!

I’m a thirteen-year-old disabled (autistic) boy, and thanks a lot for this video, honestly. I’m not exaggerating when I say (text?) that I cried watching this. I spent a good 20 minutes crying during and then after the video. By the way, amazing video! I love Coraline and Neil Gaiman.

Maybe I’m just being a sensitive hormonal teenager, but I guess my mum is sort of an abusive figure. At least, sometimes, and it always leaves me confused. She’s always raised me and my little siblings to be *completely* dependent on her. Hell, I caught her SMILING and ENCOURAGING when my little brother had a full on breakdown in tears because she left him to go outside for a few hours. It’s like she wants us to have an attachment disorder. To her, we’re *just kids* we can’t do anything, not until we leave her house. As long as we live under her roof (funnily enough, my arsehole father—whom she has conflict with—is the one paying the rent… and often threatens to revoke us if his money for our needs) we can’t do anything.

What makes it difficult for me to label her as abusive is that my brain tends to erase a lot of memories of my childhood (here’s hoping I don’t have a disassociative disorder…) so it’s difficult for me to keep track of the stuff she’s done. For example, My sister said she locked us out on a balcony once during a rainy dark night when we were about 6 and 8, and I don’t remember that at all. I used to have journals, but she made me throw them away, and my ex-friends who knew of the things she’s done I have cut contact with (Why do I have to have fear of abandonment and social anxiety?!) so I can’t really look to those for evidence… My sister does reassure me that she often gaslights and guilt trips in our arguments, though. And recently, my mum tried to gaslight me about asking how I was doing when she found out I self harmed, when in fact she did not because I journaled that whole experience in my phone immediately after. Why? Because I was hurt. Maybe I’m just being petty and hormonal. She audibly scoffed on the call discussing my self harm, and I could hear the disgust in her voice which dhe claimed later was concern. It could be my autistic brain misinterpretreting it, but it sounded so much like how she sounded when disgusted and disapproving, I don’t know why. I do still remember her burning my shoulder by throwing freshly boiled water at me. She said child abuse is good and is just discipline, so I think that’s kind of a red flag… but she’s better than other mums, I guess.

On the other hand, my father was mostly absent my whole life for what I remember.

At least up until I turned 12. When I was 12, everything went absolutely downhill with my parents and I. What made it worse was that I finally found a good school for me with teachers I really loved and liked to talk to! But nope, nuh-uh…

My own father harassed me, touched me in placed he shouldn’t have, and stalked me. I was treated like I was supposed to be the glue to their stupid marriage because I’m their eldest kid! Fix your own grownup issues, I’m 13, I can’t even make polynomials.

(Why did my stupid father even have to convince my mum to give him two kids for his dying grandmum? Then my mum got pressured into marrying him because my first sister and I were illegitimate, then after that because “the man gets to do whatever he wants in the family” he basically R-ed my mum and got her pregnant two more times.)

I’m scared of my father to the point once, I woke up with a vivid dream/memory of him R-ing me, and I’m still not sure if it was real or not. It still haunts me, and my mum didn’t give a single damn. She complains that I never tell her any of my problems, but there’s clearly a reason for that… Also, my mum is a Christian and raised us all to be Christians. I am exploring my own spirituality, but I definitely am not a Christian. The amount of arguments we’ve had over this is crazy. She probably does have trauma of her own, and that’s definitely made her heavily reliant on her children and religion for emotional support…

I’m only 13. I don’t want to deal with these kinds of things. I should be dealing with mundane teenager problems like friends (which I currently have none of…) and hormones, or whatever it is normal teenagers are supposed to struggle with in this point of their life! Not SA, self-harm and all of this stuff… It hurts missing your childhood when I still am one [a child]. There’s nothing that wrong with my life anyway, so why do I feel like so much is missing from it? Most of when I was 7-9 was okay, I think…? But I can barely remember anything from before I was 11-12 so how am I supposed to know?!

This comment is kind of pointless, and mostly a vent. Though, I feel like my experience could be important here since this video is about child abuse, and I am technically a young child. It’s so hard to feel confident in my own opinion because “I’m just a kid, what do I know?” but at the same time, I feel so obligated to be responsible and have to know everything at every given time… (Thanks for that, mum.)

(Sorry for any English mistakes, I’m sick and a bit dizzy!)

[defective_zuckerbot]

Yes! I've been feeling like children are some of the most oppressed people for a long time and I've never heard anyone articulate this idea until now. Thank you!

[erikawithaknotac]

This video really hit home for me because I have a friend who was being abused by his parents and he called CPS, but they put him on house arrest, because somehow forcing a kid to be inside the house with their abusers at all hours of the day except for school is a fantastic idea. He is 16. I want to intervene somehow because my friend has so much evidence against his parents but he has already tried and failed to bring it to court on his own and I know if I can’t intervene then it will just end up worse and worse.

We have pictures of him with bruises and cuts and a torn shirt because his stepmom didn’t want him to leave the house. What’s even worse is he’s already been through a hellish divorce because his biological mom was also abusive.

Anyone have any advice for what I can do? He lives out of my state so it’s even harder to impact the issue. Please help me help him.

[jello]

This is a criminally underviewed video, on a criminally underdiscussed topic. I've noticed for a long time that the way children are generally treated, at least in the context of the culture I grew up in, is riddled with abuses. It always gave me an uneasy feeling how the problems I find so obvious with the way we raise children go largely overlooked and ignored. Everyone goes through the developmental stage that is childhood, so everyone really should have vested interest in ensuring that children are treated well.

This is the first time I've seen the issue framed as a civil rights issue, and I think that's a really helpful way to think about it. I'm not sure what a children's civil rights movement would look like, but I hope to see one form within my lifetime. This was a great video.

[mjjjermaine]

When I was a child, I didn’t understand why I had such a strong connection to this movie. You’ve done a fantastic job at breaking down the themes that I felt attached to as a child. Great video!

[Felix-Lupin]

Sorry for the long comment, and tw for child abuse




What you said about "what if a child started life with someone like the other mother? ... they may not even have a sense of if they ARE being abused" really hit home for me. *I* was the child that grew up with a mom like the other mother. She was extremely neglectful, as well as emotionally, psychologically, and physically abusive. We didnt know anything was wrong. We thought it was *good* there, that we were *lucky* to have her as our mom.

My world *was* just that house we lived in, just the house, and the yard, her, my siblings, and nothing else. She never took us to the doctor, and she pulled me out of school before I even reached first grade. She would leave us home alone often. We didnt have access to the internet, or even *cable* past the ages of around 6 or 7, and around that time our heat and water were cut off as well. We only knew anything that she told us, and had no way of ever checking if it was wrong or right, no out. She told us to be distrustful of strangers, of doctors and police and teachers and anybody that wasnt her. She made us afraid of anything that wasn't her, any part of actual society. She was our entire world.

What was happening in that house was reported *so. many. times* to DSS and CPS. they never did anything. the only reason we got out was because one of our aunts finally decided to step in and get us set up with living with our biological father (who lived in another state), after a nasty court battle and a period of time of us being in foster care, and that was when me and my sister were *ten*. Things are better now, but I dread to think of what would have happened to us had our aunt and father not decided to finally intervene. I dread to think what would happen to the other children who grow up like i did, but do not have somebody there to try to intervene for them. It scares me to think about.

[wahoodotwav]

CW - CHILD ABUSE, DON'T READ IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE TO THAT TOPIC. STAY SAFE EVERYONE




boy what a video. i love this movie lol i actually used to joke about how my stepmom was my "other mother"
funny how that worked out huh :o)

i was abused for at least 8 years and bullied incessantly for 6. i was gaslit, threatened, yelled at--i was even guilted _out_ of suicidal thoughts at least once every year after being hospitalized for them by my stepmom and my dad. it doesn't help that my autism was seemingly dismissed by my stepmom in so many situations that even _i_ was convinced that i must just be faking it for an excuse. and yet no adult i told ever believed me when i said i was being abused
i am completely aware of what i went through and how wrong it was, especially when i cross-referenced it with how families in the books i read or shows i watched and my friends with stable homes were treated. the fact that most adults think that kids are less than people, just objects, or sometimes even as nothing but glue for a broken relationship (we are not! if you have a kid only to try and rekindle the spark of a failing marriage *you need to see a professional* instead of putting a young mind through that hell for who knows how long) absolutely baffles me. we are still people, we are still aware, abuse will make things worse. being abused as a child can not only lead to the big things such as depression or anxiety but also things like DID and OSDD. i got out of that home situation almost 2 years ago now but i still live with the mental scars and the fear of those two adults
i'm no child abuse martyr or anything, i know so many people that had and still have it worse, but i want to still share my thoughts
in summary abuse is bad and kids deserve respect thanks for reading 👍
sorry for the whole vent but i wanted to talk about this

[emmaphilo]

Now that's a very good video. I come from child poverty (and other issues). I absolutely love Coraline. And I really appreciated your essay.
I wish children would be taken more seriously.

[Korrin]

I’m 15 and this just reminds me how my mom tells me ABA doesn’t hurt me. She yells at me aswell. I don’t even need aba. It causes me trauma.

[jakeb.]

BEAUTIFULLY put. "these issues are framed as parents' rights. i think they should be more focussed on childrens' rights."

[comicconcarne]

I wonder how much biological determinism plays into the treatment of children. How many times has a child been denied access to resources because an adult said their brain wasn't developed enough yet? As if they had MRIs for that specific kid. We deride it elsewhere in anthropology, but with kids I guess it's fine to treat them all as the idealized child that is guaranteed to have certain developments and associated experiences at certain times.

[cortisolsoup]

this is one of my new favorite videos on the internet. coraline has been my favorite movie for years; my primary focus in this life is liberation. this is excellent on every level. thank you for making and sharing this, truly.

[BlueMagicite]

Hey there, found this while looking for more vids giving a look through Henry Selick's stuff for Wendell and Wild, but super glad how you brought in how Neil Gaiman's style has always dovetailed into these topics and systemic issues as a whole.

Selick himself as a director was definitely a great fit for Coraline, guy loves stories that are essentially recontextualizations of trauma, abuse, and systemic issues in general. He seems to be in conversation with Gaiman and the modern approach to parenting of today.

One thing I'm a bit astonished about Selick's direction, and Gaiman too considering how the two clearly know how deep these issues go, is how they approach "Why do parents even have children?" which is such an uncomfy topic for people to talk about understandably, but is something that does need to be considered: Why have children if you're going to neglect them, or even worse, shape them to be something they were never gonna faithfully portray in the first place?

These are questions that very few animated films and media in general for younger folk get asked. A notable exception I've come to notice are Ghibli films. Ghibli films often talk about how the role of children in the family structure has shifted in various ways, some not all that positive: Princess Kaguya and Spirited Away come immediately to mind regarding this.

We don't rely on each other, parent and child, like we did in the past where an agrarian home life was common for most people throughout the planet. In such a family structure, parents and children worked side-by-side and had a material reason for working together: they had to eat. Now, we essentially separate the parents from children via work that the children cannot participate nor influence in for a sizable portion of the week. Which begs the question, why have a kid if they're not gonna be able to help out around materially?

The answer is often more emotional. Our families, our communities, are usually what allow us to "refresh" ourselves from the grind of work when we come back home. This of course has a huge amount of issues in itself (ie. reproductive labor) but it also starts to become apparent that if the greatest comfort from family is the emotional strength and haven it provides for us, then that is a fundamental issue to concern yourself with when the family structure is showing neglect, if not an outright refusal to meet basic needs.

Coraline makes direct parallels to parenting with raising a garden, with her pointing out a lapse in reasoning: Why write and base yourself around gardening (parenting) if you hate dirt, the messier but necessary part of raising something? Whether that be dirt or simply giving the emotional care for your strung-along kid. This analogy is taken even further with how the garden the Other Mother makes is both textually and metatextually constructed to be an image of Coraline that is larger than life: it's not a true representation of who she is even if it's meticulous.

Kudos for pointing out the subtext and the real-world commentary that these stories have, it was appreciated to see someone, a parent no less, approach this story in such a way.

[Letcharlieplay]

Okay but that point about how abuse can warp someone's perspective enough so that they may not realize hits hard- I know a 20 year old who was raised in a very conservative household and still isn't allowed to watch cartoons like Avatar the last airbender or foster's home for imaginary friends. He's going to college and has a job, yet cannot bring himself to question how his parents raised him (Believing any media from after the 70s is gross political propaganda)

[loviebeest]

Treating others by how you want to be treated, reminds me of something my mom did. She never used baby talk to me or my brother. Of course she used age appropriate words that we understood but never unneccesary dimunitives.

[sylvanshroom]

This is one of my favorite movies of all time and this video has given me even more to love about it!