Give Up! The SURPRISING First Step in Overcoming Depression | Dr. Rami Nader

People often mistakenly believe that depression is caused by a person giving up and not trying hard enough to feel better. However, this is exactly what depression would want you to think. The problem with depression isn’t that a person has given up, but more likely, that a person is trying too hard to feel better. When you try too hard to accomplish goals or expectations of yourself, you are trying to do something that you may not have the energy or motivation to do. This results in failing to accomplish those goals or expectations, which makes depression worse. Failure saps motivation and energy and fuels depression. Therefore, the first step in overcoming depression is to give up on bigger goals and expectations and set goals that match your actual level of motivation and energy. By doing so, you will likely achieve those goals, which then builds motivation and energy, thereby beginning the process of overcoming depression.

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[theresalives]

I make these crazy goals like working out 4 times a week and starting a business when I’m having a hard time eating, sleeping, showering, & keeping my house clean. This was the most helpful thing I may have ever seen…thank you so much

[DavidsGameplayMC]

This rings true with me. I feel like a big part of my depression is fueled by being in a constant state of not being satisfied with how I'm living my life, always telling myself that I'm being too lazy for not doing something and things like that.

[chiefbrody]

I have had depression for longer than I care to remember but I’m also a perfectionist, so am my worst critic. What you’ve said in this video is a eureka moment for me, thank you so much Dr 🙏🏻God bless you

[Twysthor]

“One step at a time”.
It is so simple but flies over mine and a lot of people’s heads.

[loganclements]

Yes, I can verify this is true. One day I lowered my goal to just cleaning out my email box. I had about 4, 000 emails and seemed to be overwhelmed. I got them down to about 33 and my energy and motivation level skyrocketed even though I had done such a seemingly unimportant thing. This works!

[bluejayjitsu]

Thank you.. this makes a lot of sense...it explains the massive low self esteem and self loathing right now...constant failure pushing me further into the pit. Thank you for calmly explaining

[karamariee]

This is so helpful and hopeful. Crossing off all my unrealistic goals on my habit tracker and replacing them with things like “eat” and “stretch for 5 mins.” Instead of writing a list of things I can beat myself up for not accomplishing. Thank you!

[JF]

17 sessions with my psychologist and all she told me was to travel or do something fun, and told me to stop watching videos on Youtube because I bring questions she doesn't think are relevant to me. Meanwhile this video hit the nail on the head for me in under 15 minutes. Thank you, I'll be trying this out.

[ande]

Wowwww over 12 years of CBT and this has been the most useful thing I've heard in a long time!!! The failure cycle has completely drained me and I've been spiraling trying to work harder and harder 😭😭😭 I'm glad you have videos on how to adjust out goals because this is key for me

[marmarc]

Finally someone who knows their stuff. My advice would be exactly the same. Took me 20 years to surrender, attempt after attempt, listening to others who didn't have depression to try harder and 5 years of AA of Action, action action has left me exhausted at times. Thank you Dr Rami Nadar

[marissag]

This is by far the most helpful video I have ever watched on dealing with depression. I have been spiraling further and further these past few months. This video was a revelation for me: it is because I constantly set unrealistic expectations for myself. I have reached a point where simple tasks such as going to the grocery store, brushing my teeth, doing laundry, even eating or getting out of bed feel exhausting and, at times, unbearable. And when I feel this way, I only get more angry with myself that I am not accomplishing my goals and I feel as though I am failing more and more every day.
I am at a point where I need to “give up” those expectations. Thank you.
This video will be a first step for me. Praying for those who are also on this journey. 🙏🏼 We can do this. This will pass. Brighter days are ahead!

[lizquinn]

Depression is like your body is struggling to live with a mind that wants to die 😔

[richardbrazee]

This just explained why I have been depressed for years. A had a therapist 10 years ago tell me to lower my expectations and that my own, as well as my father's high expectations was keeping me depressed. She never explained anything more then that. This is life changing advice and I greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much for this thorough explanation. I think I can make these manageable changes.

[AJ-dcfj]

This video deserves to be more popular. I've had to "give up" and climb out of the hole again and again. I'm not sure why i fall back in, i think once i start picking up steam i try to set my expectations too high again. I do get over depressions quicker now which i guess is good but wish i never knew what it felt like in the first place! Thanks for this video.

[goodintentions]

So, so tired of trying harder. These last few days my goal is to drink enough water for my body's health & get up out of my bed enough to not wet it... I used everything up by helping others who were happy to discard me as soon as I wasn't helping anymore.

[susanna]

My depression started after losses in life and broken relationships. And unfortunately it affects everything else.
I never was thriver in the sense that I run after material or professional success. I have been happy if I do something I like, the expectations comes from others and society. And sometimes it creates conflict within yourself too. But when u struggle to even do simple things in life like answering to the phone or take shower, you know you are dealing with something more serious. Indeed more you try to force yourself to do and think positively worst you feel, the pain is in your whole body, even if u try to pretend that u are fine and u can do this.

[Widda]

RIGHT ON TARGET. ACCEPT WHERE YOU ARE IN THE MOMENT. DON'T CHASE PERFECTION. YOU WILL LOSE.

[vaporwingfauxmcloud]

So I've been binging these motivational videos trying to find some way to cope with my depression and this is by far the truest reason I've been depressed. I set extremely high goals and I forget I am still me and my goals are set way too high. Watching the second video rn while I'm working so thank you very much, doc!

[JayRizzyMusic]

U kno, I’ve given up multiple times in my life. Depression feels like this lifelong battle I’ve had since I was 15.. and yet here I am, at the bottom of the barrel again. And now I find out ntidepressants are myth, and that depression isn’t a chem mbalanc ? Don’t even kno what to believe anymore. Feels like this is never gunna end 😒

[jungersrules]

I know that a lot of times I just don't want to exist. Life is just so hard, so heavy sometimes. I got advice here on YouTube that when you wake up remind yourself that today could be the last day of your life, or something like that! I interpret that as meaning that there are no guarantees in life, including life itself. It has strangely helped a lot with my anxiety and depression.