Why Moose are the Greatest Threat to National Security

Orca Comic made by Pet_Foolery
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[damascus]

That dude who decided to just slowly walk into their shed and lock themselves in is, quite possibly, one of the smartest people alive. The best choice when seeing a moose is a calm and collected "N O P E."

[cheezeguyLOZ]

"Landlords are moose, and they pay taxes to geese."
As a Canadian, can guarantee the truth of this statement.

[adreabrooks]

Speaking as a Canadian: moose really are that kind of absolute unit.
My dad was a truck driver and, when I was very small, he was hauling empty trains (two trailers behind one truck) east of Sault Ste. Marie. We came around a bend doing roughly 80 kilometers an hour, and there was a large bull moose standing in the road. My dad swerved - missed the moose with the cab and the first trailer. The second trailer caught the moose by the antler. The truck's weight and momentum threw the moose about 40 feet in the air; the moose's weight threw us into a fishtail and into the ditch.
The moose came down on the pavement, flat on one side. I will never forget the sound of his indignant "Hmph!" as he got up and strode majestically into the bush, leaving us to sort out our own business.
That having been said, a bull moose isn't the thing I worry about most when I'm in the wilderness. What truly worries me is a cow moose, with a calf I don't see. Bull moose are accustomed to display, and will give you ample warning, the same as they would a rival bull. A cow moose with bebes has a hair's breadth between tolerating your presence and "that's far enough; time to trample a bitch."

[KanuckStreams]

As a Canadian, I can confirm this. Although, we don't pay taxes to geese, we pay protection money to them.

[KamiRecca]

"And failing to meet a Mooses expectations is exacly how heaven gains angels." You, sir, are a wordsmith of the highest order. I bow to your brilliance lest i be blinded and awestruck

[linnd]

I'm from Sweden where we have quite a lot of moose, and during the theoretical part of getting my driving licence we were taught to always aim for the rear of the moose if one would cross the road. The reason for this is that when a moose decides to cross a road, or do anything really, they will do it, so when it crosses the road the moose will almost never turn back but instead carry on straight over the road. So by aiming at the rear of the moose you might be lucky to have the moose cross enough of the road before your reach it, therfore potentially avoiding a collision! Hope this information helps! ☺️

[morganarutsatz]

"Failing to meet a moose's expectations is how heaven gains angels" I applaud your speech throughout this whole thing. Extremely well written and very funny. You're delivery was on point and I loved how you were able to sum up this 10' vegan. Thank you for the laughs and knowledge.

[clrkjhnsn]

To put a moose into perspective: where I live a few years ago there was a state trooper responding to a moose collision, on his way to the call he hit a moose and it opened his cruiser up like a sardine can. As in his car became a convertible without a windshield. I saw the aftermath when they delivered the cruiser to my work, it's amazing the trooper survived relatively unharmed.

[water]

This Dude is so cool not only does he keeps people who are interested in animals engaged but with his humor people's who aren't much interested still watch the video

[Zanian]

On skiing holiday in Sweden a couple decades ago, I was chased by a moose in the middle of the night. Only reason I got away was because it was a very thick forest, and the moose was unable to sprint through the trees.
I still have nightmares about that monster. Only thing I could see at first was 2 glowing orbs way higher up than where you'd expect the eyes of a landanimal to be, only for them to suddenly close in at an alarming speed.

[kansascityshuffle]

A story shared at our last fishing trip. A bunch of commercial fishermen caught a moose crossing a lake. They decided they wanted to try and drown it. They tied their boat to the antlers of the animal and attempted to tire it out and put its head underwater. Little did they know a sandbar was coming up. The moose got its legs under it and hoisted the entire boat out of the water jettisoning the occupants of the boat. The boat was found 300 feet off the shore in the bush. All humans had some kind of serious injury.

[JM]

I was raised in Newfoundland (that big island on the East Coast of Canada). Moose are a big problem there (quite literally). Growing up I remember getting a basic "survival" class on Moose (and other animals) and the lesson boiled down to: if you're in the woods, climb a tree, and if you can't climb a tree run between the trees where you think a moose would have a harder time reaching you (they're big and strong, but they're not uprooting trees, and Lord knows they can't corner as well as a human can), a Moose may be faster in a straight line but you should be more nimble among the trees than a Moose is. If you're not in the woods, seek shelter of any kind and RUN and hope and pray you get under/behind something solid before that Moose gores you or tramples you.

Moose are also among the leading causes of car accidents in Newfoundland (they certainly were when I was growing up anyway). It's to such an extent that the provincial government installed Moose fences; giant 6+ foot tall steel fences along vast swaths of open highway to greatly reduce potential crossing sites for Moose, and thus accidents.

[starscarrednyx]

"Probably why Canadians are so polite, their landlord's a moose and they pay taxes to geese...." and I lost it 🤣🤣🤣

[greffiMartiN]

"With a country with bears, cougars and Florida, the most dangerous animal of all is a 10 foot vegan with antlers"
A truly majestic quote.

[Potentialhydrog-yjxp]

"Failling to meet a moose's expectation is exactly how heaven gains angels"😂

[HappyEggz]

I've been blessed with being able to grow up with these incredible animals in my backyard. My childhood home sat surrounded by swampland and the moose loved it. Sometimes I'd wake up to one at my bedroom window. One in particular stuck around our area for /years/. A huge bull with fur so dark it looked black, we called him Judge. He liked to hide in the shade under the pines by the road. He blended in so well there that one time a neighbour walked right by him on her jog and she didn't see. I remember freaking out and worrying he might run at her, but he didn't.🤷
"Watch from a distance/indoors and stay the fuck away from them" was a great lesson to learn as a child

[XOChristianaNicole]

“MOOSIAH.”

I have no words, for how amazing that is.

[zipperozicvideodump]

"for those of you who know what rut is, I know how you know" is one of the most horrific sentences I have ever heard, because I do know

[locolobo]

when I was younger we had a couple whitetail bucks get stuck together. My father took out a 22 riffle and waited and took a single shot. What were two eight points both became seven points. One of the best shots I've ever seen in person.

[Nobody-ivot]

Orcas: “Violence isn’t the answer, it’s a question, and the answer is *Y E S !”*