How I replaced my social battery as an introvert

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In this video, I discuss how I renewed/lengthened my social battery as an introvert. I used to only be able to last 2 hours in a social interaction before my energy drained and I needed to recharge. These days, I can go for days before I need to take some alone time. Here's how I replaced my social battery!

Intro music: Smooth and Cool by Nico Staf
Outro music: Lensko Let’s Go

Time Stamps:
0:00 An introvert’s social battery
3:41 Get genuinely interested in people
5:03 Foster a sense of goodwill toward people
7:33 Be in a state of flow while socializing
9:56 Redefine rest as active

[dansmagicalcreations]

I never thought I'd hear Dr. Ana telling me to rawdog life.

[aleidius]

Yeah, two hours into the party is generally when people start asking me if I'm alright.

[slogurtyogurt]

For neurodivergent folks (specifically those with autism): Ana kind of expressed this but it’s helpful for me to reduce masking as much as possible. There’s a pressure (internal and external) to have certain facial expressions or a certain tone of voice and trying keep that up for long periods of time takes a ridiculous amount of energy. I’ve contextualized this in a way where showing up without a mask or a reduced mask gives people the opportunity to accept me as I am. There’s definitely a balance of putting yourself out there in a warm way but also allowing “awkward” moments to occur without internalizing these moments as a character flaw — it takes two people to converse and sometimes you just don’t vibe

[katelin_gates_rn]

No matter how interested I am in talking and socializing I physically start to feel ill and start to feel sound sensitive. By 2-hours I am trying to hold back tears until I get to the car and end up bawling.

[SigMaQuint]

Really useful. I think I know what you mean about valuing other people for their uniqueness.. I have noticed one thing, that I rarely get exhausted when doing photography, its more like «now its time to stop»-thing. I am doing a course in taking photos of people, and I notice that it invigorates me. The approach is essential. To observe and take photos can be a pretty introverted thing, so I feel kind of more in place. Still, when taking photos of living people, I need to connect, and I found your little video here very useful. Thanks.

[berrynoir]

The plotting your escape is so relatable.

[ratking]

I definitely have a social battery as an extrovert. Everyone does. I just get really drained by being alone. I think people don’t understand that being an extrovert doesn’t mean you can keep going infinitely. We all need rest

[NoemiGunea]

In improv comedy they say 'know each other, like each other'. I really like this as a basis for any interaction. Definitely easier to do with new people, but I tried to remind myself this as a mantra whenever I lose patience with someone.

[piercehawthorne]

haha rawdoging social interactions 😂perfect

great video
thanks for your work!

[farojaco]

I think the key as you said, is to be engaged in the social activity you are going to be and also by not being a judge with other people and only focus on their bad traits. I think this is caused because of insecurity issues, so you need to see the defects on others to cope a little bit with yourself, when you become more secure, at least in my case, you start to worry less about what others could think and also stopped focusing on their defects, once i did that, my social battery life grew, but still i need moments of being just with myself.

[Osher-ovej]

I love what you said about active rest, I had that same realization lately and it’s still very tempting and easy to do the passive rest but I can feel the differences of how it makes me feel later

[hyapat-xxc]

I'm an introvert and I've actually been getting a lot better with my social battery. I still do have days where I don't realize I've had enough and genuinely need to go do something by myself to recharge which leads me to a social crash but I'm getting better at it!

During Christmas actually I spent hours talking with my cousins to the point where I did not want to leave when it was time to leave. That was the first time I felt I could talk to my family or anyone really and not get so exhausted by the end of it. I had a lot of fun, I enjoyed my time with them (even with an ear infection coming in), and I learned a lot about them and felt I could open up myself. For the first time ever with my family I felt like I was part of the family not an outsider looking in. And it's all because I learned to socialize and removed the negative things in my life that were only hurting me and not serving me. I miss them and really do wish I could see them again soon.

I do need to figure out what rest looks like to me. Ofc there are a lot of aspects that changes what rest is for different people and unfortunately a lot of things I find relaxing also feel like an obligation for personal reasons.
I'm also neurodivergent which changes things quite a bit that I gotta get figured out lol. I'm growing to stop masking it which changed a lot in how I socialize and how long I can socialize for. I also had to learn that I don't have to always talk to be considered socializing. I love just listening to people sometimes while other times I have a lot to say and really just want to talk (I am unmedicated ADHD and am really trying so hard to get medicated just having a lot of complications).

[ronin]

Really needed this video. My social battery has always been extremely low, but I see it’s bc I often felt a lot of interactions were performative or shallow in nature. This definitely helped me see a different way of approaching it. Thank you!

[ethanisnotsleeping]

Fascinating, that actually makes a lot of sense. I do know that like in interactions Id get burnt out faster if I felt like I had to put in extra effort to be a part of it: likewise I was also much faster to leave if there was coffee or food I couldnt eat.

Reminds me how a lot of people cannot stand plainly, as themselves without feeling uncomfortable. They have to be doing something, otherwise they have a hard time fully engaging in the social interaction

[AnHourOfWolves]

This appears to be another lens on attachment healing, and changing one’s attachment style from and insecure style to a more secure style. Thanks for posting! 🔥

[mattmurray]

This is helpful. Not sure why but the last few months I've started really judging people a lot. Not sure why this started but it has created a barrier in my social life. Appreciate you reminding me how important it is to focus on the positive traits.

[bluebird]

Hey Ana! This is very helpful. Thank you for this video. If you cna please cna you make another video for those of us who are burnt out from people because of trauma? I fiund myself become introverted because of years of trauma. I lost interest in people and they just irritate me. But i don't want to be a recluse. I also have speech impediment because of childhood trauma so that doesn't help me either. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you 🙏❤️

[esmeraldagamgeetook]

This is a really interesting video for me. I'm 100% an introvert but I've had introverts accuse me of lying? It's probably because when they interact with me I've made accommodations to help my social battery last days. I can assure you, in the wrong environment it might not even last 2 hours. I really enjoy socialising in the same way I can enjoy working out. I only do workouts I enjoy (weight training, swimming, walking, etc.) and don't bother with things I don't (intense cardio/HITT). In the same way, I only give my energy to socialising that I enjoy. It might still be tiring, but it is a pleasant tired because I feel seen and connected. Plus I feel the benefits of having strong social connections in the rest of my life. Just like exercise, I sleep better, I'm happier and I'm in less pain.

[joshuabuchanan]

As a 28 year old who has had some family members (and other people) move out when I was really little (and no I did not have a cell phone when I was little), I also had to move a lot and I also had to move to a new high school in a completely different school district, and I also bullied a lot from elementary school thru high school, which is why It's really hard for me to find good will in people (I do try to sometimes though)

[xionelectra]

Ok, I hear you and I like the message and methods you provided in this video.

That said, I put SO MUCH attention and effort into social interaction. Mostly putting it into things like:

Making sure I don’t offend the people involved
Being accommodated
Hearing and listening to everyone
Making everyone feel seen and heard
Quelling my MONSTEROUS anxiety
Etc.

I’m pretty sure I heard you address things like too much worry in interactions so I’ll try to find that again.