How To Keep Growing Up

We have a very close sense of the stages of development of small children. But what about adults? How do we keep developing once we are ‘grown up’? And what are the key stages of development?

FURTHER READING

“The business of growing up is something we normally think comes to a close when we get to 16 or so – and finally turn into those fully finished products: adults. Up until then, our growth is the subject of quite a lot of collective fascination. Twentieth-century psychology, beginning with the work of the Swiss clinician Jean Piaget, pioneered an approach to child development that meticulously identified and labelled every principal stage an average infant might go through on the developmental journey of its earliest years...”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Alice Dunseath

[NikiforGeorgiev]

Emotional growth:
- learning to understand and symphatise with oneself
- take proper stock of childhood influences
- communicate flaws and eccentricites to others in good time
- to interpret others beyond what they have directly said to us
- to recognise the hard edges of reality without being destroyed by them
- to accept one's need for consolation and assistance
- to achieve a necessary degree of confidence
- to know how to dispair without wholly giving up on existence

[Haganenno]

People always praise SoL narrator, but I also wanted to thank the artists who put up such videos. Transitions between scenes are originally done and videos are very cute! Thanks! Not even sure how you can draw so many cool videos in such little amounts of time between each video.

[graemeroberts]

My sixties have been the greatest decade of growth and joy.

[PikaPetey]

Adult milestones:
-dealing with the death of your grandparents
-dealing with the death of your parents
-mutual breakup with no emotional outrage
-planing ahead more than a couple of weeks at a time
-putting someone else well being before your own.

[alfredoalfaro]

This is amazingly true, and indeed the hardest part is that one has to discover it by oneself. Personally, after highschool, achievement and self-motivation became gradually non-existent . But around my 25th birthday, I came to realize that I was meant to be the one in charge of that; responsible for stating my own parameters, the judge of my success and failures​, even the one responsible for defining them as such. It may sound simple, but it's not (at least for me it was really, really hard) but that's how I've managed to finally continue growing up after 7 years of stagnation. Sometimes I think of it as the burden of freedom, it's definitely worth it.

[CJusticeHappen]

"People make mistakes, and that's okay. It's part of growing up; and you never really stop growing."

[skyllerf]

I think that my mom is a big reason for my anxiety. When I was growing up I was pretty much a selective mute in school. I was scared to talk to people, and I have no idea why this developed, but I was known as the girl who didn't talk. My mom never tried to get me help, instead she shamed me and called me backwards and a "zombie". When I started staying home from school she would yell and scream at me, or physically drag me out of bed. It only made me more introverted. Even now as a 20 year old, I can't handle jobs where I'm surrounded by people. My girlfriend is supportive of me, but my mom just doesn't understand. She makes me feel like shit about my future. I feel like I would be a lot more emotionally developed if she gave me the support and help I needed as a kid.

[FullPerception]

That's why it's key to introspect yourself and master your emotions and psychology.

[The_Catalyzt]

I'm 30. I'm still waiting to "feel" like a grown-up. I just don't think I have enough of a handle on things to call my self that and mean it. Even saying the phrase "I'm an adult" feels weird. I still have a lot of the same issues I was having at 15.

[Anthonyjf]

As a psychology student, I really appreciate the highlight of adult development in this video. I believe the more we develop emotionally in our personal lives the better changes we can create for ourselves and leave a positive influence in society. We cannot allow the inner riches in our lives to go unexamed with external actions. Adulthood gives us greater access to focus on the life we want to live vs the one others want for us.

[GenJotsu]

18 or 16 was always a silly measure to note that someone was an adult for me. Heck, there are plenty of "adults" out there not worthy of the title, Elder.

[rajivkrishnatr]

In my experience, one needs time to understand certain aspects their life. For eg., I needed a lot of time to understand and accept my position in life. When I was younger I usually judged myself harshly whenever things didn't go well. Now, I sit back and review my situation and try solving the problem with sensitivity. You need time and you should go through a lot of experiences to connect the dots. Even though watching YouTube videos such as these, life has to be deciphered by yourself. It unravels before you very slowly and you should enjoy that.

[_LilacRoses]

It's my 26th birthday today and I can still feel the 4 year old in me. Strange and sad at the same time.

[lilylee]

can you please make a video about stress? The video "How to remain calm with people" has made a big impact in handling stress. Thank you! <3 This is my favorite channel on youtube.

[chanelleulep]

I think the thing about growing up isn't academic smarts, like some other commenters mentioned. I believe it's emotional intelligence because as we developed into adulthood we break out of our comfort circles and we're practically fending off the world on our own.

Sure, it would be great to already know how to be financial alright and other things that's best to equip everyday life. But there is a reason people rather be around a good person who's willing to learn than a know-it-all or someone with an attitude. As long as we have the right attitude and practice resiliency, we'll be alright.

[eliasfulthorp]

Step 1: Like the Video
Step 2: Watch the Video
Step 3: Write comment thanking SoL
Step 4: Apply principles to life

[derrezejackel]

school of life, i just wanted to let you know that i adulted today and applied for a job at Chipotle. no one seems to care because I'm a research student at a university but my research doesn't pay :(

[ernststravoblofeld]

I'm 50, and I grew up for a while, but I'm not sure if it was time well spent. I'm rethinking the whole thing.

[cesarmc]

The transference from the ideas of Piaget to adult psychology was an extremely creative move!

[mr.fabulousmegardev]

inb4 people comment they don't want to 'grow up' means being boring and monotonous and colorless of life, instead the video is stressing out that 'growing up' is a constant journey of self-improvement.

It is therefore true that Peter Pan doesn't 'grow up' because he has 'chosen' not to grow up, meaning he chooses not to: take responsibility for his actions, not care of other people's opinions, not seek to improve himself or the situation of others around him, etc. And that is what this video is stressing about: that we still all have the power to 'grow up', to literally grow upwards beyond the constraints put on us by our parents' shortcomings, or of our childhood's limitations.