human perfectionism

The Hippiearab Podcast --- S1 E18
Why is everyone scared of doing good near-perfect work? Studies show perfectionism can lead to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. But what if the way you've always thought about perfectionism was wrong? Perfectionism is not the devil, rather it's the way by which we go about implementing it that leads to our destruction. If used correctly, perfectionism can be the most beautiful thing.

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[randomgblsfs]

When you unlock the new costume for your character

[nazanrazim]

«Perfectionism is not you, you use it as a tool to get through»
- Farah✍️

[asmaanasraldin]

So my Fridays now are composed of: reading surat Al Kahf + sending prayers to the prophet Muhammed peace be upon him + watching Farah’s podcast 🤷🏽‍♀️

[anumy]

I see where you are coming from but when I stopped being a perfectionist, life became less stressful and manageable. It depends what your state of perfectionism is. My perfectionism stopped me from starting anything due to the fear of failure and making mistakes. And when I did start and had those outcomes, I was extremely hard on myself and would stop because in my mind I was a failure. Trying your best and improving is much better than “perfectionism”. Don’t say practice makes perfect, say practice makes progress.

[classicbambi]

being a perfectionist and trying your best are two different things tho. being a perfectionist ruins some people's lives and i've been at therapy for the last 4 months trying to fix that.

[August-Folklore]

Perfectionism is not trying your best. For most people struggling with it’s much more complicated than just not wanting to be tired. This is an example of how it could go:

-Let’s say: you are a 7 years-old child, and your caretaker never or rarely approves of what you do and how you do things, they don’t give you validation. When you’re at that age their validation or the lack of their validation plays a crucial role in how you see yourself and your self-worth.
Your parents' validation is not something you can control. And when they don’t give it to you, you see the fact that it’s uncontrollable as something dangerous. So, what do you do when you are in danger?
You try to protect yourself. You realize that doing your homework perfectly or getting a perfect grade makes you immune to their excessive criticism. So now your head is going like:
Imperfection= no control over people’s reactions = I am unworthy
Perfection = control over people’s reactions = I am worthy
In that age you are building your self-image through whatever your parents make you believe about yourself. When they send you the massage, that you are worthy of love and forgiveness even when you’re not perfect, you believe them. But if they send you the massage that you are not worthy of love when you are flawed, you believe that you are fundamentally someone unworthy of love, you need to be perfect to “achieve” worthiness. So, you go on with your life believing that perfectionism is a need, maybe not for everyone but definitely for someone as unworthy as you. Perfectionism now is the one thing proving your worth.

-now you’re a teenager and you know more about what it takes to be perfect, and the things you need to do to achieve perfection are a lot more. Perfection is not realistic and now it’s harder to convince yourself that it is. But for you as someone, whose perfectionism is the only thing that makes you worthy, facing the fact that perfectionism is something you’ll never achieve risks your entire self-worth.
One thing that people do in this situation is avoidance and escapism. You either do your homework perfectly or you don’t do it at all. You either pray perfectly or you don’t pray at all. Because you can’t face your imperfections. You turn to self-sabotage and procrastination, which is basically a way of telling yourself that you’re not imperfect, you’re just not perfect yet. It’s an illusion, but it’s safer than what you believe is reality. What you think is reality is that you’ll never be perfect and therefore never worthy.

Perfectionism is a coping / defense mechanism we develop when we find vulnerability dangerous. When it comes to ibada we need to face and embrace our vulnerability in front Allah. Doing your best needs vulnerability and perfectionism is not even close to that.

I know that this is not what you want people to do. But what I want to say is, that it’s not an easy thing to deal with and it’s a very valid reason to go to therapy. Perfectionism for people struggling with it is definitely Not a tool but a prison you don’t know that you’re stuck in.
I really appreciate your brutal honesty and it’s something I strive to be. But sometimes the kinder truth is the one we’d rather not believe.

[MelikeYuecel]

May Allah have mercy on your grandfather and elevate him in his rank ❤ Thank you for this insightful episode Farah!

[selb]

I was just binge watching all your other podcasts and I saw you uploaded! I just wanted to say thank you for these podcasts, it may seem dumb to say this but you honestly changed my life you gave me the wake up call to stay disciplined and turn back to Allah. Thank you so much for all you do!!!

[wishh]

ive drifted away from my deen but i really want to feel closer to Islam and recently listening to you and watching these videos feels like im doing something right

[ФатяНамазова-ме]

it's crazy how you switched language from english to russian
im literally freaked out😂😂😂my first language is russian and as а native speaker I find your pronunciation very clear, good job

[nansifyanimations]

It’s the best feeling after a hard good all day you lay down and you feel.. I don’t know, that you did your best even if you know you can do even better. It’s so nice 😭😭

[salmazehaf]

Farah, you remind us that you can choose the right path and be happy. I repeat your podcasts several times. You recharge us each week and i hope you will always do.

[passsengerrr]

You forgetting to change the calendar of the month says a lot to me. It shows that we are not perfect in a way that dictionary describes but it's perfectionism in 'human scope' really. Because despite all ups and downs, keeping on the track is what perfectionism and self-discipline is and it will take us to the perfect point of ourselves.
This episode made me take out my notebook, thank you Farah. May Allah have mercy on your grandpa.

[sajidsafa]

its funny how its called uncomfortable truth but i always feel comfortable and at peace when i listen to Farah

[strongermuslimah]

34:16 SubhanAllah, in one one of deenandchai’s recent videos she shared the story of when Ka’d ibn Malik (RA) procrastinated in preparing to go to war with the Prophet (SAW) and the other Companions. He kept procrastinating until no one was left in their town except for the people with a genuine excuse not to go, the hypocrites, and him. :’(

[saadmahbub]

Look at you. Watching you since this channel barely had subscribers. And now you're at 150k, you will hit 1m, easy. Inshaa'Allah.

[arsal.a]

Sorry to hear about your loss. When I lost my mum 10 days before I'd be able to go back home from university and spend time with her, I also reminded myself that this was bound to happen sooner or later. Inna Lillah

[AssiaMEHDI-dx]

I'm in LOVE with the way you transfer the idea

[hahdhsjsjrkfn]

a 42 minute video from Farah; we've been blessed❤

[sofigsdrw]

Thank you for these episodes Farah. I really learn a lot about spirituality. I am not a religious person, but while I get older and get to experience things in life, all bring me closer to spirituality and far from materialistic things and desires. Somehow by humbling myself, being grateful and not taking anything for granted, I got to feel more in peace. I hope you all have a beautiful day or night ✨ Greetings from Spain