The Brutal Truth About Dating (OnlyFans, Simps, and More)

Vincent Harinam is a data scientist, law enforcement consultant, and frequent writer on the modern dating market for publications like Quillette. He earned his Ph.D. from the University of Cambridge, where he currently teaches.

In this episode, we chat about unsettling dating statistics, the manosphere, what (wo)men find desirable, and the bridge between data science and law enforcement.

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[jw]

You know what doesn’t help? Love and marriage being portrayed in such a romantic fairy tale manner in media. It sets insane standards and expectations.

[auroraborealisknives]

The most important question to ask is:
Why do most people date in the first place?
- to stop feeling lonely
- for fun
- for social status

All these reasons are invalid and explain why most relationships fail

[KaliYuga]

"Onlyfans is not prostitution"
Yeah

[soloyt]

It's easier for some people to have disposable relationships than to risk emotional damage from real ones.

[melartista]

This definition of a simp makes so much sense to me. There have been many men who have behaved this way towards me and it feels deeply manipulative and inauthentic. It also makes me feel that the man is projecting his ultimate sexual fantasy of an ideal woman (sexual toy), and its obvious that my true character/personality goes unnoticed. A simp's interest in me tends to turn into obsession, and they will give unrequested gifts & favors, saying that they just like doing it, but there's a CLEAR vibe that there will be a price to pay, which is why I would never accept. It's a very uncomfortable dynamic, and I feel more unsafe with these men than a man who is more bold/honest in his approach.

[labdad]

My wife and I did dating the old fashioned way. Start as friends and let the relationship grow.

[danieljackson]

Only Fans may not be "prostitution, " but it IS a Market Place for homegrown pornography. Sort of like a local farmer's market where the consumer can meet the producer.

[alanefzi]

This channel is getting better and better ❤️

[jocelynamado]

out of topic but.. I love how she makes that pause before speaking, just like her dad.. adorable.

[espo]

She always seems to ask a question that you may have been thinking as well. Love it.

[Gerbyq]

You're creating such great content. Well done

[jeremiahwaters]

Drive by your local medical center. Find the designated smoking area for the staff. Observe the nurses on smoke break. They more than anyone should know the effects of emphysema and lung disease. Yet here they are smoking. Its not just knowledge. Humams are very illogical sometimes.

[BetterYouBetterWorld]

After exiting a 10 year long relationship, the thought of dating feels so strange to me at this point. I guess I'll have to start from scratch again.

[andulasis]

Friend of mine has a relative who has an onlyfans. When she applied for jobs, one of the employers allegedly adressed this to her in a job interview.

[tcjnr]

Being agreeable male doesn’t necessarily mean that male seeking an intimate relationship is automatically manipulative or of Ill intent in my opinion. I don’t think it’s rational reasoning to distrust an agreeable person.

[aspiepilled]

I believe the dating scene will get better again but not during our lifetime

[estherpennington]

I'm so glad you have a channel and I found it. This topic is not talked about enough! This Only fans being normalized in motherhood and relationships is absolutely toxic and would also be a good topic. The real simps are the men who are in marriages with women who participate in this site and put up with the mothers of their children doing this for money. I've seen it promoted in mainstream social media a lot over the past year and been stacked for my criticism of it

[Baasicstuff]

Wow this guys smart, I like those ideas he shared

[larscw]

The resurgence is already happening with so many men being done with the current state of the dating world. Some would rather be single then step into the dating world.

[daydreamsandnightmares]

Agreeable men isn't a bad thing, its when they agree to everything that's bad. One should not be a door mat. Yet people often are. Stand up for yourself. However being agreeing is not bad.