'Don't Give Him Access!' - If He's NOT Serious, STOP Chasing & Do This Instead | Stephan Speaks

Listen to the Women of Impact Podcast:

On Today's Episode:

How do you know if he’s really interested or just obsessed with you? In reality, it’s hard to decipher what’s fact and what’s myth when it comes to knowing what men want.

Him chasing you and giving you lots of time and attention may not be reliable in determining his real intentions for you. His lack of time and communication doesn’t necessarily indicate that he’s playing games or not interested either.

Stephan (Labossiere) Speaks is a relationship coach dedicated to helping men and women experience happier and more fulfilling relationships. In today’s episode, you’re going to see that much of the problems we need to address are internal.

Ladies, it's time to reconnect with your greatest source of power, that female intuition, and slow down long enough to be honest with yourself. Having the best relationship of your life is possible, but it’s going to take you asking the hard questions and answering them honestly.

Why are you really here in this current relationship?
Why are you holding onto a relationship with the wrong person?
What are you afraid of, really?

It’s time to get some straightforward advice from the relationship expert himself, so you can be strong and have your own back in every relationship.

SHOW NOTES:

0:00 | Introduction to Stephan Speaks
0:13 | Don’t Fall for the Chase
12:19 | How to Spot Real Connection
26:30 | Do This On Your Next Date
42:54 | Connection, Compatibility & Chemistry
58:14 | Shamed Into Bad Relationships
1:04:02 | Don’t Stay Out of Fear
1:13:10 | Why Sex Too Soon

QUOTES:

“Him chasing you is not always the greatest indicator that he’s serious about you, or that he has genuine intention.” [1:08]

“There’s this idea that men don’t have feelings or that men are not being heartbroken by women out there.” [8:06]

“I do believe the strength of the man is the logical mind, and the strength of the woman is the intuition mind.” [15:10]

“If you have to cultivate it that means you’re just growing attached to this individual that’s not a connection.” [20:49]

“It can’t be not true love on my end, but true love on your end.” [22:07]

“Stop doing what you think will work and do what works for you.” [31:22]

“The goal should be not trying to fit into other people’s lives, but seeing who we fit together with.” [34:22]

“Best foot forward should not be how do I win the date over. Best foot forward should be how do I really show who I am to see if they really connect with me.” [35:45]

“The key to great long lasting sex is connection.” [55:54]

“I believe a lot of people become narcissists in their relationship, they were not narcissists in the beginning.” [56:46]

“Some of you are holding on because you’re afraid to be alone, not because you love them.” [58:14]

“Are you willing to put in the work to receive what you want out of life?” [1:02:12]

“One of the biggest mistakes a man or a woman can make is to let someone think that no matter what they do you will stay.” [1:07:02]

“When a man really likes a woman, he’s more concerned about how she perceives his pursuit of it [sex], so he’s going to be more careful, he’s going to be more willing to be patient, [...] the last thing he wants to do is to make you think that’s all he’s here for…” [1:16:33]

“Don’t have sex on the first date because you need time to evaluate what you’re dealing with, and doing it so soon can blind you. Sex can easily cloud your judgement.” [1:20:42]

Follow Stephan Speaks:

[LisaBilyeu]

What’s the biggest red flag you look for?

[zeedo]

"You will never be good enough for the wrong person"

[cindyvazquez]

I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of being with the wrong person. ❤❤

[haileyallen]

"one of the biggest mistakes a man or woman can make is to let someone think no matter what they do to you, you will stay." hard truth right there. I've made this mistake

[evelina]

If someone is mistreating you and tells you they haven’t done anything “wrong”, listen to them. They are telling you they are going to continue😔✨☘️🙏

[ceciliakaari]

"Nothing will knock you down quicker than offering the best of yourself to someone and it's still not being good enough. "~M.W. Poetry.

[jcr-studios]

After over 30 years of trying to interpret men’s actions, it is no longer an interest of mine. Lol. It’s about time for men to do the inner work and learn how to communicate in relationships. I taught my boys emotional intelligence but I have yet to be in a relationship with a man who is self-aware, can take responsibility for his actions, and has the ability to communicate his needs/wants clearly without getting his ego involved.

[pamelawilliams]

A broken man or a narcissistic man will never be able to give the love you deserve.

[maceyr.]

"It's easier to chase lust than to chase love". Couldn't agree more.

[nataliebishop]

There’s nothing wrong with being single. It’s peaceful and if the best thing for you until you meet the right person, you should not by any means “settle”. I’d rather be single than with the wrong person.

[jackierumph]

Life isn't about WHO you want to be... It about discovering WHO you are!!

[blessedbutterflytarot]

There are good guys out there. You have to look for someone who is good, not just showing you a good face. My husband was very consistent in the beginning and reached out everyday to make sure I was ok. That was just in the dating phase. Six years of being together and four years married, HE IS STILL THE SAME WAY. Because that’s his character.

[NathalieLazo]

“When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you. Encouragement should come from the inside.” – Jay Shetty ✨

[LizzoBlizzo]

I’ve gotten to the point where if you gotta break down all their actions and are still left confused it ain’t worth any more of your attention.

[doll]

15:30 women: follow your strength= which is listen to your intuition, inner voice.
18:34 difference between connection and infatuation
28:48 bad advice men tend to follow
30:56 ask questions rather than assuming the situation and behavior
34:02 what’s gonna happen if you fake your personality and show it to him on the first date. don’t try to win the date over, show who you are instead.
37:59 what you have to be careful not to misunderstand
40:34 responsibility to convey your message to others
43:09 difference between connection, compatibility and chemistry
48:04 the blind side of dating apps

[leafyveins]

Guy at work wanted me to be his lil work wifey, flirting every day, telling me what I wanted to hear, that I was his favorite person, hugging me all the time, saying my name 30 times a day, but when I invited him to a festival with a few other coworkers he was scared and didn't wanna go. So I called him out and he said he was sorry he gave me the wrong impression and that he just noticed I liked him like a week ago and that he can't get into anything right now. I just smiled, thanked him for his honesty and said that I completely understand. Gotta keep it moving. I don't have time for these games.

[chosenonekay]

“Im so in love with the perception of this man i have rather than the reality of this man” freaking felt to the core 😭💯🔥

[paulajohnson]

I used to be blunt & rude all in the name of being honest and direct. I was careless regarding other’s feelings. I realized I was hurting other people because I was hurt. I realized I needed to work on myself so I took the time to pray, and get counseling to resolve my issues.

[cnandr]

Communicating like grown folks solves and spares a lot of this confusion and trauma

[kaykay]

You are right!! If a person think you will NEVER leave they will stop giving 100%