r/Greentext | makes you think...

Also check out:
r/Techsupportgore | melted :(
r/Foundsatan | how?
r/Insaneparents | BRUH CHILL

[deku]

"Hello Fergus"
"Hi Mark"
"FUCK"
Perhaps one of the funniest things I've read in a while

[bouncycomix]

Man, that one with the guy and his sister was really wholesome. Why did his coworkers have to try and make it weird?

[Volvith]

>be me
>find deathnote
>"this will be useful one day" & puts away deathnote
>completely fucking forgets i have a deathnote for the next 50 years

[thatonebonkchoyguy]

4Chan users are like little goblin fellers sitting in taverns while draped in cloaks, discussing their latest acts of mischief

[josiahklein]

Dude, that Tinder troll guy experienced the exact audience he was playing to. You don't get kindhearted and loving people advertising yourself wallet-first.

[lackofdesire]

"is there any thing in science I could do with an IQ of 64?"

Test subject.

[tsup]

For the coworker one starting at 12:16, I imagine he probably got your address from the work records, because they'd definitely keep info like that so they know where to mail stuff from work/various other uses

[theonlyshinyumbreon]

I binged all of the r/greentext videos a few days ago and I remember thinking to myself "it's a shame there hasn't been any recent uploads."

[daryncollins]

man this anonymous guy has quite the life if i say so myself

[CalmedCChaos]

7:32 ok yeah 100%. My high school had an assembly to talk to us about the Fentanyl thing and there was a mom who’d lost her son to Fentanyl and she’s starting crying. There were at least 5 different groups of people that were giggling at it like the assholes that kids are.

[Amanda-znox]

17:17 I kinda had a similar experience last year, I believe. I had a house I grew up in, from newborn to the age of 9. It was then sold to someone else. Last year, there was an open house. My mom, sister, and I all visited. Fortunately, the results were opposite of the post. All nicely painted and clean. And the basement was turned into some kind of recording studio, including a booth that used to be my mom's office. Her old desk was still there. The realtor said that the room was built around the desk, which is untrue. The desk was heavy and convoluted to move if you didn't know how it worked. There were hints of the old house there, especially a crafted sign on the way into the basement that my ex-dad made. I think it said, "Welcome." None of us told the realtor that we used to own it, and mom thought that they were charging too much for it. She would know the house better than my sister and I, but that was back in 2007. The economy is very screwed, and inflation continues to skyrocket.

[crashers]

"hold all government leaders hostage' sniper rifle:

[burnttoast]

"Care to explain???"
"Not really"
Actually hilarious move, 10/10 response

[woobgamer]

That whole Dumbledore post is also a sum up of why 'All of Slytherin is evil, every single one of them' is the most bullshit hackneyed writing a so called 'best writer to ever exist' has ever done.

[doodlesyoru]

18:15
Unsurprisingly wholesome. The dude trusted OP with his life and that's the basis for every long-lasting relationship.

[McBehrer]

that's not what "not to mention" means. It doesn't mean "and we're not going to mention X, " it means "and that's even BEFORE we bring X into the equation"

[corsaircarl]

>Be Me
>Wayward kid in the 80s, dad is a drunk, mom is a slut, both parents hate me.
>Found some kids, they told me about this kickass place where we can be friends.
>Skeptical but curious
>Follows the kids, place is full of arcade machines, cigars, and kickass music
>Finally a place I belong
>Few weeks go by, mom and dad still don't notice I'm gone.
>Handed a weird ass ninja outfit
>Forced to wear it, train with weapons.
>Sees friend eviscerated by a big ass turtle using two swords.

[LoganLatios]

2:15 he has the christianity aura debuff
every person he's friends with will eventually become a priest or a nun except for himself.

[Stampyboyz]

21:48 Its about our immune system, macrophages engulfs and digests pathogens such as cancer cells, microbes, cellular debris, and foreign substances, which do not have proteins that are specific to healthy body cells on their surface

[Rainok]

That latte guy could've asked for an iced latte with no ice