Do You HAVE TO Invite Them?? | Wedding Guest List Rules

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[JamieWolfer]

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[randim.]

My fiancé is struggling with not inviting one family member because of a bad past, but a couple members of his family are pressuring him because the cousin's "family" and time heals all wounds, etc., even though my fiancé hasn't talked with the cousin in at least 10 years. I told him you don't have to invite the cousin, especially since we're paying for the wedding!

I found a perfect quote for this situation: "If there is a reason you are hesitant inviting someone to your wedding, then they're giving you the reason you don't want them there on your wedding day in the first place." Why spend your special day stressing out-- toxic people don't belong at your wedding.

[davetheauthor]

In regards to children, it's definitely okay if your wedding is child free. But then you can't get upset if someone with small children (especially babies/toddlers) is unable to attend because they couldn't find coverage.

[btsarmyforever]

Indian here. You can probably already imagine my extended family. Our guest lists around 400-500 people veeery easy. The good thing is: The caterers plan it all and there is set menu. Our wedding plans are not as stressful as the western ones cause: Venue takes care of it all. It's why we don't RSVP. We just say "Come with your family and friends" Any leftover food is donated away to old age homes or orphanages.

[walterhollman]

We had a reception for the children. We spent our first married hour with the kids. Had a cake, music, etc. Then we left for the adult reception. The kids had games, a magician, their own dinner...worked out really well!!!

[sanxi]

I just announced a group of 50-ish friends that I was going be inviting some people but not all and I did not want drama, if any of them would have their feelings hurt, I offered them having a chat with them in private so we can tackle the topic heart-to-heart. As overall reasons I gave 1) budget, 2) we're more than 50 people!! and so 3) I had to pick and choose people... I got a couple of private messages from people telling me not to worry, and 99% of the reaction were "dude, we're adults!! It's your wedding and have fun!! We'll celebrate in other ways!!"

[Mhaigalodon]

You did not just post this while I was on the phone with my sister talking about how difficult a guest list is when you’re Irish Catholic with a bajillion extended family members 😂

[misty-annknights]

After all these years (5) of watching your content, I managed to successfully plan my parents' wedding and now I am engaged and planning mine and this video couldn't have come in a better time!

[Rachelhappyface]

Me: *watching this and getting stressed about who to invite to my wedding*
Also me: *is completely single*
😂

[emilyl]

For weddings that are adults only I would also recommend putting that on save the dates (if you send them). I was surprised by the amount of people who thought their kids were invited even though I only addressed the save the dates to the adults

[rain]

I wish it were as simple as "would you buy them dinner" because we have to hit 100 people per the catering agreement, but I'd realistically buy maybe 15 people an $100 dinner lol. So much of it has to do with complex familial relationships- especially when both my partner and I have step-family as well as huge extended family to consider. Guest lists are wildly stressful.

[carolinerobinette]

OH and also don't be afraid to set boundaries with your future in-laws if you or your side is paying! Like yes your fiance's family should be honored in the guest list but if you have a boundary on who should not be invited you absolutely have the right to speak up about it!

[KikuAkachan]

The guest list for our event has been a nightmare. There's been a massive falling out on my side of the family and my partner wanted to invite so many people. There are some people we really wanted but just forgot in the chaos of it all and now it's like, how do you say to someone, Hey you weren't intentionally left on a B-list, we just forgot? The guest list has probably been the most stressful part. 😔

[goldeetalks]

I've been watching you over a year, and it finally happened! I am three days engaged and so so excited to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. Thank you for your content and giving me the piece of mind knowing I can lean on your information and expertise jumping into wedding planning! We bought and started the master plan yesterday, it's already so helpful(and beautifully formatted❤). YOU ARE THE BEST👏

[jackiekocken]

Giving a plus one to a member of a wedding party is also a perfect solution to traveling to and from different locations if you don't want to rent a limo.

[jonellereynolds]

We are paying for everybody's accommodation and meals for a whole weekend - I just said nothing more than 20 guests as this is the max sleeping capacity - My deciding factor was "do you know my dog's name". (I am a massive dog person - and yes she will also be attending the wedding).

[pettiestofbettys]

I heard a rule a long time ago where if they don't know you as a couple then they don't need to be invited. Whatever that means to you

[jasminetowler]

Making our guest list has actually been fairly easy! Space & budget made everything more simple. Our B-list is kind of long, but we put it in order of who we'd call first and who we know we wouldn't even notice isn't there last. I have many, many aunts and only invited those who I communicate with. If I wouldn't pay $150 for you out at dinner, then you're out! I was so hesitant at first, but when the reality of COST kicked in, decisions were made without hesitation. Anyone that RSVP'd "yes" to our engagement party and didn't show without communication also got cut. Anyone with any snarky remarks regarding the wedding... CUT! No random plus ones. No kids under 12 outside of family. No coworkers. Middle of a divorce? Soon to be ex-wife, CUT! Jamie, you have helped tremendously. Thank you!

[platesweightspeaks]

Something one of my aunts said that really resonated with me about child free weddings- if you dont want children at your wedding you are inadvertently cutting out a lot of the women in your life ESPECIALLY if they would have to travel to get to your wedding. Finding overnight care to leave their kids at home, or finding a babysitter in a town they don't live in is really hard.

[amymarshall]

I told my sister we aren’t allowing kids at our wedding and she told our mom. So my mom (who never calls me) called me and guilted me, said she didn’t realize I don’t like my niece and that I’ve hurt a lot of people. She said if the child isn’t welcome they aren’t coming. She said “but it’s your wedding so you do want you want” and hung up on me. So yeah…that went well.