When is Enough, Enough: Guidebook Webinar

Teepa, Christine, Dan, and a few others lead a webinar to explore how When is Enough, Enough will help you to take the next steps towards a balanced, healthy, and meaningful life. Everyone’s care partner journey is unique, so generic advice is often not as helpful as one might like it to be. However, this book will provide a personalized transformative journey that will help you identify which areas in your life you need to strengthen and which you may need to let go. Discover how to get your essential needs met, while also supporting others. Learn to identify what you have the power to change and what is out of your control. Take a closer look at what you believe to be true about yourself, and discover your true boundaries, expectations, and desires. You are enough – whether or not you yet choose to believe it!

© Positive Approach, LLC

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[cherylcampbell]

I’m a caregiver and work with family members with a love one with dementia or Alzheimer’s. The family struggles but with training the caregiver can help them understand and give support.Hospice offers classes, meetings to get together support groups. Your videos have helped so much. Wish more caregivers would take the time to learn. Can be scary at times. Thank you

[rhondacarter]

I've read thru the When is Enough, Enough but haven't purchased the Relationship guide book

[anio]

An hour! Can't wait to find the time to finish watching. 😯

[rhondacarter]

some days I feel like the first photo other days I feel like pg 54. I'm more comfortable by myself or in situations that I choose to be a part of.

[elizabethharp]

Oh no! Captions are unavailable to be turned on on you tube for this.

[k.r.]

Being a 100% disabled Carer for elderly parents who BOTH have different dementias since 2016-17 (w/no help from ANYONE - even buying groceries 4 my parents when I was deathly sick, so I HAD 2 do it sick as a dog) - me running 90+ hrs/wk, eating 2 meals/wk MAYBE - & running 7 days/wk, for 7-12 mos straight, & having NO LIFE, NO JOY, NO FUN, giving up ALL I USED 2 enjoy, til my health has suffered so much I now can BARELY FUNCTION @ ALL - & my husband has missed me! I miss med. appts, dental, med. tests, etc., as am just 2 exhausted 2 go & just don't care anymore, as the ONLY thing that looks better than THIS is DEATH (OR going 2 a cabin in the mountains 4 a YEAR & RESTING, as I have had NO VACATION in 13 YRS)! THAT'S WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Thankfully my parents have a Trust, & I'm getting things ready 2 FINALLY turn ALL business over 2 their Trust! I can barely do the work anymore! There's zero out there 2 help those like me who are caring ALONE for 2 parents w/DIFFERENT dementias! No books, NOTHING! I kept saying "I'll have no regrets." Yet, now I do with MY LIFE & MY MARRIAGE & THE FAMILY who doesn't comprehend dementia nor the incredible amt of work (even after the parents have gone 2 asst'd living - people think u just visit! HA! So WRONG!)..so family just quits visiting, etc. The work, worry, guilt, & going & doing things the workers don't have time 2 do, nor care about, as they barely get pd $13+/hr when McDonald's pays $15+/hr! Yet these workers bathe, change diapers, feed, etc., etc., etc., 4 less than some1 flipping burgers-tho' nothing wrong w/flipping burgers! And they wonder why they can't keep good help? 4 small homes of 10-12 residents each, my parents pay $12, 000/month! Why are workers pd SO LOW? I "tip" them $20+ wkly/bi-wkly. And I now barely can go 1-2x's/wk, after 5-6x's/wk @ 1st, & 3-4x's/wk during Covid 2 visit in cold, rain, wind, heat, etc. talking on phone thru window, take pics, window signs, gifts, goodies, etc., & mail 3+ cards/wk & on & on. I have SEVERAL physical/mental disabilities & have gotten suicidal this past yr. All so their Trust (who refuses 2 even talk 2 me or help me) wouldn't charge (yrs ago-prob more now) 18+% interest. Yet I had NO CLUE how much $ my patents actually had from 2016 to 2019/20! So, thought I HAD 2 do ALL or I'd be paying 4 them! Where's family been who I did so much for 20+ yrs? 1 dear friend knows how desperate I've become this past yr (I've started cutting myself w/a straight razor @ age 58! That shows my inner pain & yrs of grieving watching BOTH PARENTS SLOWLY DYING & fighting 4 their rights, trying 2 get probs fixed - yet nothing changing - because my poor husband didn't want 2 hear IT anymore, so I hide in my car or bathroom crying alone, & put my plastic smile on 4 every1 else)...now since January 2023 the asst'd living finally has a great house mgr (God willing she stays!) & I MUST STOP! There's a HUGE difference between 1 parent w/dementia & 2 parents w/DIFFERENT dementias, DIFFERENT issues, actions, declines, emergencies, health probs., & on & on & on - it NEVER EVER STOPS W/TWO! And ONLY 1 disabled daughter! And these are parents who shunned me 15 yrs after my ONLY sibling committed suicide in a drunken rage (nothing 2 do w/me) when my parents were shunning HIM! My parents, who I wrote 15 yrs & still & never will know why they shunned me, came back n2 my life when they NEEDED me! Abusive dad! But yet I, craving their love, have literally given my LIFE 2 care 4 them! My hubby is older & now NEEDS me! So, time 2 turn ALL work over 2 my parents (mean, unresponsive, unhelpful) Trust. Then I can just visit! My parents told me NOTHING!! It took me 3+ yrs 2 find out ALL their $, ins., investments, & figure out I never had the full Trust document! By then, the Trust in a financial institution (never use a bank, use a private Trust company, in my humble opinion), refused to honor my PoA, tho' I'd requested a copy b4, & was refused/never got a reply...yet NEEDED it DESPERATELY! So, I have lived IN H*ll for YEARS NONSTOP! I've not committed suicide ONLY as it'd kill my sweet husband! If you get 2 the point where death looks like your only way out (& I'm a Christian!...but know "the ONLY UNFORGIVABLE SIN is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit" & NOT SUICIDE, as so many Christians will tell you you'll go to Hell if you kill yourself...NOT IN GOD'S WORD! And we no longer live by "the law/10 Commandments" - they are there 2 show we cannot possibly keep them & thus our need for our Savior!). Anyway, now it's enough! In a few mos. I'll be handing my parents files over 2 their Trust w/an easily obtained dr's letter...my drs told me I NEVER should do this job TO BEGIN WITH DUE 2 MY DISABILITIES...but I was IT! I didn't think/know I even had a choice! I thought if my parents ran out of $ (again, I only had a PARTIAL PICTURE OF THEIR $$) I'd HAVE 2 PAY 4 THEIR CARE as PoA! Scarey! Now I know a PoA SHOULD hire THEIR OWN ATTY 2 KNOW what they're responsible 4! My parents' atty was NO HELP & EVEN LIED ABOUT ME & MY 1 & ONLY MTG W/HIM humbly asking what my job was as PoA-I got no help, & then he wrote a ltr saying I'd given him medical records (I wasn'teven taking mom or dad to dr appts til 2 more yrs after that & didn't know where their medical records even were), & a "professional opinion" - I STILL don't know what that meant, & more (I was kindly told by a friend who'd used this atty that he'd "changed" & she'd had 2 fire him, & 4 me 2 not reply or even talk 2 him as he could make my life miserable-so I have never talked to him...& thankfully he has now retired - tho' sadly my parents' wishes weren't carried out due 2 him & that's sad as I was acting on their behalf w/their consent after mos. of asking & getting the same answer n their early stages...& now it's too late, & for 2 yrs my parents were distraught their wishes hadn't been carried out - & tho' another atty agreed they should've been, I was TOO BUSY to fight it)! So I never spoke 2 him again-yet NEEDED his help! BAD MAN! People are THROWN into being a DEMENTIA caregiver w/NO INFO NOR TRAINING! Esp. LEGAL! When I FINALLY found ALL my parents $$, I realized I'd made mistakes because I had NO KNOWLEDGE of their business! HORRIFIC! As my hubby & I are FINALLY doing our own Trust, we know what NOT to do thx 2 my parents. When both are "gone" it's AWFUL not having all knowledge you NEED!! And plz don't tell caregivers your praying for them if you're not willing 2 take a meal, give a meal gift card, or write an encouragement card (I bought & mailed myself caregiver cards! How pathetic is that?), etc. I helped caregivers w/meals, meal gift cards, & pd $500/mo. 4 THEM 2 hire extra help, even when I was overwhelmed! Yet not one person did anything for me! ACTION is NEEDED & PLZ don't ASK a caregiver WHAT THEY NEED! I sent out a list of 10 things NOT 2 say 2 a Caregiver, & THAT WAS ONE - yet a couple people STILL asked (& DID NOTHING!) & I was 2 busy 2 answer! I was in SURVIVAL MODE! I barely was getting thru the work 2 take time 2 explaining how some1 could help. Use ur OWN BRAIN PLZ, AS OURS ARE OVERWHELMED!! I'd get home late @ night & immediately fall asleep in my driveway, til my husband hadc2 come wake me & get me n the house, where I'd fall asleep in my recliner, 2 wake & try 2 drink coffee, SO, SO TIRED, 2 DROP ASLEEP so often spilling my coffee over & over ad nauseum! And off & running again. 6 mos. n a row EVERY MONTH, SO, SO TIRED, I either got n2 small wrecks or BARELY missed having BIG CAR WRECKS & killing myself or others! Driving HOMES EXHAUSTED I could BARELY stay on the road! Yet no one knew or cared! Cards, meals, do laundry, a hug, ANYTHING is better than nothing! I pray when, if, I live thru this, 2 start a local group of rested retired caregivers helping caregivers - as only we can understand the absolute nightmare they are enduring! At times, it literally might save a caregiver's LIFE! Plz help caregivers if u can! Caring @ home or always going 2 asst'd livings, it is still horrific, & oh so painful to watch loved ones dying so slowly! People rally when some1 dies suddenly, but do nothing for us who are grieving for YEARS & YEARS! I'll never understand it! Praying to change things where I live someday!🙏💜