Exploring the roots of narcissism: a timeless problem

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS

SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST

LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[kayakjim]

I am 64 years old and had a grandparent, mother and brother that would all qualify as heavy to moderate narcistic. It has been around in my family a long time and has done unspeakable damage it everyone without the narcists thinking they are the problem. Interestingly, my sister and I are both empaths although she is a peacemaker and I am the truth teller so my relationship with her had its rough points.

[IFHA]

What's crazy is my family really did make it seem like this was normal. Like "every family has their problems" it wasn't until I grew up and started working in the healthcare community that I realized how problematic this behavior can be.

[pacopeso]

My Narcissist sister in law loves the sound of her voice. She talks incessantly

[civirebel]

I tell the kids and elders I work with that, "you're not too sensitive and need your voices to be heard, pick friends that will listen, because we live in a world that promotes the selfish and insensitive, those that don't care."

[oceannomad]

My male friend and I, both in our mid-70's, were discussing how our parents were so angry with us when we were children. We wondered if most parents of the time treated children the same way, given that "spare the rod and spoil the child" and "children are meant to be seen but not heard" were common ideas. We agreed it's been a no-brainer to break the cycle of parental anger by being kind and supportive to our children, an attitude that's paid us back many times over by our adult kids and their children being responsible, successful and empathetic.

[bisibisbi]

Having a masters degree in history, I second every word you say.

[alohilani]

I grew up with narcissistic family members all around me. I witnessed my step grandfather call my step grandmother demeaning names like jack ashe & this was openly around other family members. No one batted an eyelash & none of her children stepped up to protect or comfort their mother. My grandmother remained quiet but I could see the pain in her face. I felt hopeless & powerless as a child, but after his passing, her adult children took over that narcissistic behavior. Though they did not call her names, they used her vulnerability by using her like a handmaiden. And when she became ill and in the early stages of dementia they took out their anger of intolerance and lack of compassion by talking down to her with infusing fear. I was an adult at that time & I always regretted not speaking up for her. These we’re the same people who used their narc abusive behavior toward me. It still breaks my heart thinking of those days.

[bellafantousi]

The ancient Greeks dealt with narcissism....understood it...made up a myth around it and gave it a name....that's pretty insightful....

[sarahs]

Narcissism carries from one generation to the next. Both of my parents are narcissistic and I'm empathic. I just went through some neuro psych testing and found out I have mesial temporal dysfunction; caused by either seizures or don't have seizures but A LOT of trauma. I can sit back and see the toxicity in my family, especially the narcissism. Now that I see the whole thing clearly, I know who to keep at arm's length to protect myself and try to heal. Now, with Christmas a couple days away, I have an escape plan.

Thanks for another helpful and informative video, Dr Ramani

[gaylaaustin]

It’s everywhere right in front of us:Shakespeare, Disney, Agatha Christie, music, movies, art and on and on
Right in front of our face, in our work place, business, politics, school and family

[notagain]

I just heard on the radio that the word of this year is "gaslighting." I think it's a good thing that people are becoming more aware of behaviors that can do so much harm.

[AeriaGlris]

As soon as you asked "Has narcissism always been a thing?" I thought, "Yep!" We just didn't have a word for it when it first reared its ugly head. And then humans came up with different words and ways to describe/name it. But I'd wager that narcissism has been with us since our earliest ancestors, well before the earliest form of civilization.

[ardent]

I had the narcissistic step father as a kid in the late 90’s, and it took years to understand that my family is also narcissistic, they want anything they can get from me, but I can’t get anything from them. I can’t help thinking if only I had known I could have prevented the mess that my life is now, which I’m doing my best to fix. Dr. Ramani’s brief history review is so true, the awareness of narcissistic people is what’s new, it’s not more narcissism it’s more ways of seeing it. Facts Dr.Ramani.

[dq]

A real alpha isn't just a big mean bully wolf. They protect, nurture, and care for their pack. They have empathy and pursue both communal and individual well-being. They want their mates, offspring, clan, and allies to be their best selves. You don't have to be wise and good-hearted to be the leader, but the ones who achieve their potential, and the ones who deserve to be alphas, are. Nor will they take any guff from bully wolves, who need to be put down like rabid dogs.

[donnellallan]

I have a hope that now that those who are not narcissistic can gather in large numbers, maybe we can finally become the leaders by working together. Narcissists are not so good at working together. The one with the biggest club tends to clobber all the others.

[redeem]

Exactly. Narcissistic people can never be angels or their flying monkeys. Thanks again Dr

[HappyMomma]

I typed this topic into the search query and I was hoping you covered it. Thank you, Dr. Ramani! 🦋💜🌈

[tanuking-sqiy]

This is one of your most profound videos I have seen.
I think you are aware of the sad reality that personality disorders are likely maintained under evolutionary background.
Evolution is a cold-hearted mechanism that cares about nothing but fitness (how many children one has left).
This mechanism is why it's raining.
But we humans care about suffering and happiness. So I respect that you are trying to provide an "umbrella".
I may be a bit optimistic, but I believe that one day we will have a "roof" as well as an "umbrella".

[moniquejackson]

I was just thinking about how every major villain we've ever seen in movies, and even animated movies, is an extreme form of narcissism. It's always been there; we're just only now having the words and conversations to describe it.

[juhu]

Narcissism's always been around,
That much we can surely surmound,
From history books to family trees,
It's clear that it's not just a phase or a disease.

From ancient kings to modern leaders,
Narcissism has been a part of many creatures,
But in recent years, the harm it causes
Has gained more recognition, no longer in pauses.

Thanks to social media, it's easier to see,
The ways that narcissism harms you and me,
But it's not a new thing, no matter how it seems,
It's been around for ages, it's not just a meme.

So let's focus on the harm it brings,
And support those who suffer at its stings,
We can't stop the rain, but we can build better umbrellas,
To protect us from the toxic behaviors and nasty fellas.