how to FEEL BETTER about your appearance and style

most people get interested in personal style because they want to look better - but improving your style does not always equal improving how you feel. here's some actually helpful tips if you want to feel better

some more resources:

free overview of my style framework, the style key:

[kaashkaash]

Whoa crazy, exactly what I was struggling with and this shows up. I love your down to earth manners and approach. So comforting. Keep it going!

[mimiveggie]

Very insightful as always! I think for me the Style Key was super helpful in taking the focus off my body, and thinking instead of what I like, what I enjoy, what I want to express...

[bc]

I can't thank you enough for your content and the unique way you do style guidance, Rita! This might be a bit of a long comment but I just really want to give you an example of a small "win" showing how your intuitive method of style has helped me. No style content has ever come close to helping me not only improve my style, but also improve my inner confidence and sensory connection to my clothes.

The other day I dressed in an oversized band tee, baggy cargo pants, and sneakers. Nothing groundbreaking, right? Well, it was completely against my Kibbe body type (soft classic) and essence (classic-ingenue-ethereal) AND the warm earthy colours were against my seasonal colour palette (true summer). It broke the "rule of thirds", it covered up my silhouette completely, and I'm sure it broke pretty much every style rule I'm "supposed" to follow.

But was I feeling myself in it? YES!!! Such a simple outfit, but there was just something about it that made me feel SO COOL. The fabric felt good, its weight felt good, I felt good moving in it, it just felt so "me!" It exactly matched on the outside the vibe I felt on the inside. And my prescribed "ideal" outfits for my body type/essence have never been able to do that. Something always felt off about dressing for the "rules." The clothes flattered my body, but something still felt off. There was always a disconnect between the clothes and the essence of who I am. I have come to realize that I am more edgy, sensual, nuanced, and just generally want to feel "cooler" than those outfits prescribed for my body.

To top it off, not only did I feel good about myself in the tee/cargo outfit, one of my friends told me I looked so cool like a rock star, which I will say was such a huge ego boost because that is exactly how I want to come across (Still a Ruby but probably close to the "up" line lol) All because of what I have learned about the left-down Ruby approach and what is truly important to ME! Please know that you are truly helping people and it ends up going way beyond the clothes. <3

[hazeldavis]

I think I'm starting to realize all the people who bullied me about my looks weren't being sincere. I was socially awkward and kids don't know how to mock esoteric things, they just hone in on the physical. So I kept their painful comments about my physical person as a truth, but now it is time to review them with an adult's wisdom.

What if my nose is beautiful in its Greekness? My curly hair a tribute to the waves of our sea? My loud voice a proud honorage of Maria Callas?

You've given me a lot to think about. Thank you, Rita. 🌺

[daniellaastor]

Love this! Especially the wording of the hot take in the beginning to be “willing” to love some aspect of yourself or appearance NOW. That took away and resistance and it was just easy to think of things I love!

[onipot]

This is such a healthy and lovely video.
One of the biggest things I am learning is what my bf finds beautiful in terms of ‘ attractive women’ is so different from me. Like I will be like ‘ she is so beautiful I wish I looked like her’ and he will look at me like I am insane and be like ‘ I think she has a boring generic face, like she isn’t ugly, but I don’t think she is more beautiful than anyone else’ . His approach to beauty is so separate from the programmed norms that is both mind blowing and also quite nice. He in particular loves faces that have ‘character’ so a lot of celebrities ( who are gorgeous!) have also had a lot done to perfect their face, or already have perfect faces. He just turns that rather bland. like to him it’s comparing plain freshly painted white walls to a chipped ancient mural. One isn’t bad, but it’s just not as captivating. So sometimes when I feel crappy, I try to shift to his perspective on beauty ideals. He just has a really lovely way of framing beauty in me that I can’t see.

[adorablebelle]

Following R+U logic has helped me be able to articulate and dream up my style! So grateful!

[yeliz]

Dear Rita, you provided me some food for thought. It was also very conforting and motivating at the same time. Thank you for this video and your coaching❤

[EmL-kggn]

This is so important 💕💕💕

These are the 2 things that helped me most with my body image. First I decided to trust my best friend when she said I was pretty and there was nothing wrong with how I looked. I hated everything about myself, I truly couldn’t think of a single nice thing and there were others putting me down too. But one day I decided to try to believe her because I knew she was trustworthy. The second was spending less time on social media (and other media). Finding style influencers with a variety of body types has helped too but no matter what people almost always put in effort to look “good” online. Changing my media habits helped more subconsciously and I did this years later, it was listening to my friend that was the turning point for me! I was so lucky she was my friend

[Linda-htys]

Thank Rita for another nice video on a topic that is very important these days. I think it is important to get back to ourselves and find what works for us individually too. We need to listen to ourselves more and see the beauty in our diversity.

[ivaeva]

Amazing videos, so many great points. ❤ Love the actionable small steps to celebrate beauty and have come to the point that working on feeling and looking beautiful are sometimes two separate processes. 😊 Love your videos

[sac]

Thank you Rita! I got important insights watching your video. And today I will make a babystep…👣❣️

[human_no]

Rita I love the way you express yourself, I find all your videos so insightful. Thank you!!

[susanpeel]

Your videos really strike a chord with me with your common sense, down to earth manner and content. Thank you for sharing your generous spirit. It is so refreshing. 😃

[soulieobelissevan]

So much this video!! Thank you Rita ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[jessief]

Hi Rita, such a great video, thank you! I have a friend who was mauled in the face recently and I'm trying to help her with her self confidence. She already struggled with her self image before so it's really sad to see. 😢 Do you have any more tips we could share with her?

[maribeltalamantes]

That's funny how you deal out about your camera having issues