An Alternative To AA - Why My Approach Is Different

I normally tiptoe around this topic, for fear of upsetting anyone. Yet it seems increasingly important to point out the obvious: AA isn’t for everyone.

(It certainly wasn’t my cup of tea).

If AA works for you, then great. But if it doesn’t, let’s talk about why that might be.
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[markg.]

Hello Kate,
As someone who has experienced sobriety for more than 27 years, and has also been curious about other avenues to recovery, I would like to share a little about my perspective. Generally speaking, there are three different types of drinkers. Normal, problem, and chronic. Normal drinkers never consider quitting because they can take it or leave it. A percentage of problem drinkers, after experiencing negative consequences, can put alcohol down for good. Then we have the chronic variety, who have a physical allergy to alcohol. I am in the latter group.
Something in my DNA is not wired correctly when it comes to consuming alcohol. I can now look back at my first drink, and see the evidence. I have absolutely no problem with people exploring other paths, aside from AA. In fact, I encourage it, because those seeking help should have every opportunity to succeed.
Respectfully, I would like to correct your false belief that "there's just no space for learning, curiosity, or growth", in AA. Nothing could be further from the truth. In any worldwide organization, with thousands of different groups, some meetings are going to be better than others...and that's an understatement! : ) The meetings I attend on a regular basis, "step" meetings, are all about becoming the best people we can be. We don't rehash our drinking behavior, we don't focus on our faults as human beings, and we certainly don't spend any time finding fault with other programs of recovery. Why? Because we know how deadly alcohol abuse is for so many people.
My life is nothing short of spectacular today, and the past 27 years of it have been a profound adventure in learning about myself, being curious about life, and growing mentally, physically, spiritually, morally, ethically, and yes, even financially. Bottom line is this...There are no magic pills, no magic words, and nobody gets sobriety handed to them. It requires action. (If I need a gallon of milk, I can't THINK my way to the store. I have to go get it.)
I sincerely wish you all the best Kate! Mark : )

[aujax]

I appreciate your video. i hope that someone in AA hasnt give you the wrong impression. character defects and shortcomings are often addictive behaviors that can continue in sobriety that we must right when sober. but we right them out of our own efforts, not from someone shaming us. the program doesnt point them out to make us feel bad, or to shame and guilt us, but to get us back on track with good behavior and good thinking patterns. its for our own benefit and that of those around us. if i was lying and neglecting my loved ones while drinking, i try my best to be honest and give them attention. when we address character defects and work on ourselves to become better people, we are far happier and healthier.

[MrJohnnyb]

Thats because a lot of people (Men) try the 13 step.

[michaelhoff]

I agree with you except that you only address women. I think men can benefit from your videos too.

[wickedsprite]

This really resonates with me. I have friends who joined AA who went from obsessing about drinking to obsessing about NOT drinking. For decades. Or cutting anyone out of their lives who still drink. For good. Bottom line is that their lives still revolve around alcohol. I don't miss drinking, in fact if I went back to it, I'd miss my morning runs, increased productivity, better sleep, and lower weight. I'm fine with others drinking, to each their own, but for me life without alcohol just feels better. It's not deprivation, it's my choice. My AA friends, ALL of them, still crave alcohol and feel like they are missing out. That's sad.

[charlesbaldwin]

I just came across this video and Im so glad that there are people out there who think this way. 12 step programs are not for everyone.

[brittweir]

Really like this one, “Becoming addicted to a addictive substance”, lol, Who knew🤔, . No guilt here ❤️, Thanks for the uplifting message.

[casper]

Any alternative to AA is better than AA The thing with AA is you keep saying to yourself im depriving myself of something .read Allen Carrs book it explains everything so theres no schitzophrenia like in AA

[VAMR-vcxg]

Thanks Kate, these meetings are horrible and sponsors and the twelve steps are hard to understand, also rather intrusive.

[rachelwilder]

I cannot get past all the references to "God, " "him, " "higher power, " etc. Fully half of the steps include a belief in a high power, even if it's as we understand it. I don't understand it. For the 8%-12% (As self-reported by AA') who find success with AA, I believe there are at least as many who are damaged by it.

[travisbarnes]

The 12 steps have helped an enormous amount of people find happiness, value, sobriety and purpose in life, to downplay it is a mistake. That being said, your method is fantastic as well, just don't point fingers. We are all in this together.