A Painful Reminder of Why Decluttering Matters

Decluttering can be a challenging task that is put off by many, but what if you put it off too late? Recently, my family and got rid of much of my 88-year-old grandfather's belongings in a rushed and unfortunate way, with most items going to the landfill. In this video, I share details about how and why this happened, along with four key lessons I'm hoping you can take from the video to inspire your own decluttering or conversations about this with loved ones who are aging.

[sheilasheila]

My friend's parents have a 70 acre farm with 5 huge storage buildings that are packed. There is also a huge barn with tons of stuff. Their home is very cluttered as well. In their 50 plus years of marriage, I don't think they ever threw away anything! It's unreal and I feel so bad for my friend who has just started the decluttering process. So. Much. Work. for him! They were very frugal people, but they found so many "GOOD DEALS" that they just couldn't pass up, only to be set aside for nothing...so much money wasted....how ironic.

[suewarren]

I did this for my Mom's apartment when she went to a memory hall. I spent the rest of the summer telling people, 'if you love your kids, get rid of your stuff '. I'm better now.😊

[jillstigs]

I have been a minimalist forever. 2 years ago I did a Swedish Death Clean. Now I am 58 and have so little. I do not want to burden my daughter at all. Sorry your family is going through this.

[cbigg_]

I so agree with this! My mom has dementia and I along with several helpers cleaned out her big house in 3 weeks. 12 car loads to a thrift store, several trips to the dump, MANY boxes shipped to family members and more. I gave all of her furniture to strangers because I didn't have time to sell it. Keeping all your stuff because you can't deal with it is a major burden on your family!

[txspacemom]

Yep! 20 years of marriage, now getting divorced. I downsized from 1800 square feet to 2 smallish rooms with a bath, in another state. SO FREEING! And I am only 49. I also FINALLY put those sentimental items together and went through all of the photos and PUT THEM IN ALBUMS! OMG! So fun and now I have 2 beautiful albums to look at. All of my records of personal papers are together, in a small fireprooff/waterproof container. It was a lot of work. I rid myself of 14 bags of clothing and shoes, 10 large pieces of furniture and a least 7 to 8 boxes of just "stuff", along with getting a trash can of paperwork shredded and burned. It was crazy, because I consider myself pretty curated.

[Mrsmomofkids]

13 years ago My Dad went into the nursing home for rehab and after 2 months realized there was no way he was going to go back home. I don’t have any siblings and my parents were divorced. He never remarried. I had less than 10 days to get through an apartment and 2 big storage units. It was exhausting but I went in with a plan and got it done along with a lot of other things. This seriously started my journey on decluttering and being more intentional with what I bring into my home.

[juliefitzgerald-frangos]

My mom passed in January and we are STILL going through things . She was organized and minimal overall but 40 years worth of things in a home is overwhelming no matter how you look at it.

[katywillett]

We had to purge for a relative about 12 years ago. We are still traumatized by needing to purge two lifetimes in 3 days. Out of state. While trying to juggle the physical, legal, financial and medical needs of someone who needed memory care. Everything from clearing food from fridge to finding guns hidden in house to meetings with doctors and attorneys. Photos were devastating (unlabeled). It was physically and mentally exhausting. Clear the stuff out if you love your family.

[suehodgson]

The kindest gift my mother ever gave me was how much she decluttered in the year before her death. I've seen far too many friends go through the situation you described. For us it was a single afternoon cleaning out her assisted living apartment after she died. She so mentally fragile at the end and it was almost as if it was the last thing she wanted to do before death came to take her. So, I guess I'm saying, yes, decluttering makes a HUGE difference in dealing with a loved one's death.

[jennierollins]

This is a very important video. I am an aging person who is feeling these exact emotions. Sitting down and having the talk with loved ones while I am still able is the key. I don't have trash but I do own a lot of stuff. I have been donating and selling as much as I can. If anyone wants something of mine in the family I just give it to them. My mother clung onto items that were really no longer useful. She was trying to hang on to the past. Excellent video. I am sorry you had to experience this. Thank you for sharing with others. 🌍☮️🌲

[janetgentry]

Thank you for video. This is one video that anyone who is a collector/hoarder needs to watch. My mother was a collector and insisted that all of her stuff was worth a lot of money; we couldn't sell it or give it away. Dad's stuff was just garbage from hoarding and filled 4 construction dumpsters. My brother and I had already spent 3 years watching our mother slowly die and an additional year watching dementia take our father's mind but cleaning out 40 years of collections and hoarding ended up breaking us. We share a lot of resentment for what our parents put us through.

[AlexaLikes]

This is more important that people realize, this and having your affairs in order well before death. I lost my mom two months ago and she was only 55. I've been decluttering on a weekly basis, both my things and hers. Going through her possesions has been much harder. The saving grace was that we shared a 2 bedroom rental and I am not in a hurry. I can't even imagine how much more difficult it would have been to have to clean out an entire house in short notice.

[megameg]

My mom passed in April suddenly. I'm 33. She took care of my grandmother. I have two houses worth crammed into one home to go through. Thank you. <3

[HannahMitchell-Art]

This is why I have started the “One Room Project” with myself. When we are little we only have one room in our parents house for our stuff. When we age into retirement homes we only have one room for our stuff… so why in the middle of our lives do we collect so much stuff?!
Better that we think more about limiting our ownership of stuff to one room, our whole lives and then have more space for life itself!
This is the One Room Project ❤🎉

[wendyhummel]

This is so true. We emptied my parents’ home 5 years ago. They had lived in the same house for 65 years and it was ALOT of work to go through. Mom was still alive and very helpful in making some decisions but Dad had already passed. Both of my sisters and I went home after this experience and started really purging our own homes. I’ve asked my children about things they’d like. I have already passed some of these things on. It’s a joy to see them take things they can use now and enjoy.

[jackiestasch]

Although we tried to downsize our parents over the years, they were aggressively against doing even one thing. Although it’s import to try, be aware that it simply may not happen until they are gone.

[HeyLauraVan]

Such an important perspective — particularly the comment about nobody knowing when they’ll no longer be able to manage something. Thank you for sharing!

[goofygirl]

I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that with your grandpa. I totally agree that it's better to declutter earlier rather than later. A person in assisted living really doesn't need all of those storage units, they'll never use that stuff again. I'm surprised that your grandfather was able to get so much stuff into his one bedroom apartment, too. It's a shame that something that could have been a methodical, well thought out decluttering over time wound up having to be done in such a rapid fire, urgent manner with so much of it going straight into the dumpster. I really hope to avoid putting my own kids through an ordeal like that.

[airforcemom]

Thank you for this video, it reminds me of the concept of Swedish Death Cleaning . I'm paraphrasing here, but that concept means "Not leaving a mess for others to clean up after you have passed away." It's a wonderful gift you can give your loved ones.

[Dana-mlsy]

It isn’t just death, illness can make it very difficult to clean your home. I broke my left elbow & tore my right rotator cuff on my shoulder after a fall. Everything was difficult & took many months to be able to do things as I once did. I took the decision to clear out stuff which my daughter was happy to have, either to replace items she had, or to add for a boot fair. I felt good passing it on as she has no issues of getting rid of stuff, one way or another.