Confessions of a Former Mean Girl | Ellen Smoak | TEDxBartonSpringsWomen

Women are on the rise, but are they still in competition with one another? This session highlights the new "State of Sisterhood," and what women can do to remain empowering of one another during the women's empowerment movement. Ellen Smoak has shared the stage with Marci Shimoff who was featured in the hit movie the Secret. In fact, Marci Shimoff calls Ellen a “true change agent.”

Ellen has been featured on ABC, NBC, Yahoo, and FOX, and her work has reached over 10 million women around the world. Her #1 bestselling book, Breakups Are A Bitch, But Getting Over It Doesn't Have To Be! was called, “a brilliant path to rebuild your life,” by Dr. John Gray, the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

Top Thought Leaders consult Ellen to help them land their books on the New York Times bestseller list, include Katherine Woodward Thomas, the author of Conscious Uncoupling.

Ellen is the Founder & CEO of The Society of Women Entrepreneurs -- Austin’s largest community of female businesses owners. The Society of WE helps women make their business dreams come true by offering events, mentorship, masterminds, workshops, trainings, and an ongoing “Sisterhood of Support.”

Ellen believes in the power of true sisterhood, and its ability to change the world.

On a personal note, Ellen has a passion for jumping horses. In fact, she was the first person in history to receive a Division I Varsity Letter from jumping horses in college.

As a keynote speaker, Ellen uses her passion & wisdom learned on the back of a horse to teach women how to gracefully come together to lift, support and empower each other's success.

[mysticat]

When you respect, honor & value yourself, you can respect, honor & value others. Confident people who esteem themselves don't feel threatened by other people's gifts. Happy people don't need to hurt others.

[kiki]

I was in tears towards the end. The bullying started in the fourth grade and lasted through the ninth, by the age of 10 I was suicidal. I was petrified of school. I’m gonna be 50 next month, and still live with depression, anxiety and PTSD from it. And it led to a number of abusive relationships, I didn’t believe I deserved better. Mean girls have the power to destroy lives. I’m doing better today, thanks to a bunch of talk and trauma therapy with an amazing therapist and a wonderful priest, my spirit needed healing too. It made me a much more compassionate and caring person, I knew that I never wanted to make another person feel like I felt.

[jameystone]

For some insecure people, the only way they can feel better about themselves is to tear others down. I used to think all I needed to do was build other up and be kind but that seemed to just make them think I was an easy target for their cruelty. Ultimately, I need to feel good about myself so I'll continue to build others up and be kind but as for expecting friendship in return ... I'll be at the barn with my horses.

[salonika]

I've had to deal with mean girls throughout grade school, middle school, high school & then at every single job. They're everywhere ! Even family members. They're the worst. My Mom is the worst. It's terrible to deal with. It's really hard.

[annnemesh]

Men behave this way also. It comes from a place of feeling powerless and threatened, and believing there is not enough to go around.

[debjesic]

You know, it's a fight from cradle to grave, it never ends, I beat them down by bettering my self new hair style, clothes, makeup and just made positive changes in my life it started in the Sumner of 74, I was 14 that fall I got the respect I wanted, but like everything in life nothing last, but I guess the moral of my story is be your best look your best, they can fight you but they can't turn yourself against yourself! Be your own best friend, don't let them beat you down! Stay confident and strong!😉

[vanessashimoni]

Thank you for having the courage to speak from the heart about this painful reality.

[idkatthispoint]

my high school friends kicked a girl out of friend group and even though i wasn’t involved in the actual kicking her out, i didn’t speak up and it’s my biggest regret. i realize now they did it to me as well but took a more subtle approach and since then i’ve had a hard time connecting to people bc i feel like everyone will treat me how they did.

[t-man]

They don’t just treat women horribly, they tend to treat men and boys inhumanely as well in my experience

[carlahoward]

Ohhhh Ellen!!! You nailed it!! YES, we must do better! This TEDx Talk is a must for anyone who knows deep down that they have been the "mean girl", been bullied by a "mean girl", or looked the other ways when "mean girls" show up. In other words, this is a talk for all girls and women! Thank you being bold and telling your story!!! Women deserve better... we can do better...

[alexjames]

Women hate their step daughters and daughters in law and many times their own daughters smh

[benergyk]

Can anyone imagine that all these women who were mean girls are now grand mothers and mothers now! What have they taught their own daughters and sons to behave towards others?🤔
Good for you Ellen Soak for overcoming that mean girl life style 👍🏻👍🏻

[stacysmith]

I've been bullied and never bullied anyone back. I'll let God take care of it.

[Fireproofwitchnz]

This woman seems like she's still a fake mean girl. The give away? That fake cry at 4:05 - the one that instantly disappears as fast as it arrived. She's not a reformed mean girl, she's capitalizing on her vibe to get attention. Yuck.

[stinkwd]

Being a man Im on the outside of this, but I see this going on. The lady Im with doesnt let the “ mean girl” get to her and she is surprisingly calm and handles these situations well. Most women I know are smart and capable and struggle with this daily. All I can say from the outside is the fact that as men we notice this going on and I avoid the “ mean girl” like the plague.

[jamesm]

i notice you dont talk about what the other girl went through just how you felt typical i recently talked to a women who bullied me in high school 45 years ago she is still the same she is exacly the same as she was in high school except 100 pounds heavier mean girls dont change they just learn to hide what they are better

[davivadiva]

I like her rehearsed, fake cry at the part about her not letting the girl in the sorority....lol. But still there’s a lot of truth to what’s being said

[michellecnebrown]

Did you go find the young lady you kept out of the sorority after you realized the error in your ways?

[nemranaseem]

Life changing Ted Talk..I feel like watching it everyday as an emotional healer and for motivation <3 Bless you.

[alifedesignedteamcoaching]

Your personal story is one so many can relate to from their interactions in social circles. An honest confession that will inspire many!