Why You Have Love & Relationships All Wrong: Alain De Botton

Alain de Botton is an author and philosopher, known for co-founding The School of Life in 2008. The School of Life was created to fill a void in our current education systems with the teaching of emotional intelligence. Alain’s work also focuses on love, parenthood, mental health and the meaning of success.

During this episode, Jake, Damian and Alain dive deep into each of these subjects, exploring what a life filled with the constant search for knowledge could look like. This episode encourages us to explore a deeper understanding of ourselves, our relationships, and why we should be seeking fulfilment not happiness.

Alain shares what we can learn from our mental health struggles and how they can be revealing a deeper truth. This conversation highlights how important it is to lean into uncomfortable emotions to truly understand ourselves. Alain challenges Jake and Damian’s perceptions of what high performance really looks like, debating whether the fight for success actually leads to a good life, and why we should be embracing averageness.

Within this conversation they discuss why we’re obsessed with fame, how to be a better parent, the benefits of a breakdown and how we can improve our relationships.

0:00 Trailer
0:21 Start
2:19 Finding purpose
7:54 Embracing averageness
12:22 Spoilt children
15:39 Uncomfortableness
20:07 Your false self
24:33 Jake's worry
30:11 Fear of freedom
34:45 A lack of love
41:42 Relationships
46:28 Changing the world
51:11 Breakdowns
57:34 Happiness
59:11 Quickfire questions

[wendysusanlovejoy]

I was amused when Alain de Botton said he was 53, and the interviewer praised him for being at such an advanced age and still learning. I will be 70 on my next birthday, and I feel I'm just learning so much in my life.

[thespuditron]

This man is so well spoken. I could listen to him all day. 🙏🏻

[randomguy]

This guy is a genius. It should be mandatory for the whole population to listen, discuss and study what he says. The world would be a much better place.

[Saminnik]

I started listening to him when I was 16 and now I'm 23. He has been with me the whole time and I learned so many things that I know about myself from him❤

[jennierussell]

In regard to asking your partner to share what annoys them about you....
We do a "team" meeting a few times a week. ( touch, emote, appreciate, make a wish) We hold hands, talk about something we felt during the day, share appreciation or admiration for eachother, and then ask for a wish, little stuff, like, could you put your dishes in the dishwasher instead of on the counter. We learned this somewhere on the internet as a quick way to reconnect at the end of the day and also to refrain from nagging and/or letting annoyances build up

[supersnowva]

Every time listening to Alan is a therapeutic journey. I can listen to Alan’s wisdom forever.

[halimaali]

Alain’s point of view is so unique and refreshing. I love the school of life ❤

[keymeter]

This gent. Has a very temperate, celebral voice. His words (and voice) resonate with my soul. 🧡🙏

[kimsherlock]

I have a spinal injury with consequences of extreme pain .
I am not envious of a friend who sends me her pictures having fun and free to move .
I feel lonely in not being able to be so free .
I have learnt that others joy is a wonderful thing and strive to be able to be unconscious of pain.
I have also learnt "Smile, and the world smiles with you; cry, and you cry alone."
Written by Larry Shay, Mark Fisher, Joe Goodwin 1928.😊

[_s_]

Alain is and always has been amazing. He's a true gem. A modern the greatest philosopher of our time.

[alanmcivor]

Alain is really one of the best we have.

[AliHussain-fzpd]

For those that haven’t come across Alain De Boutton, he has a channel called the “School of Life” that has been a great source of bite size wisdom/philosophy. Aside from that, his books are pretty good too. He’s always an interesting listen and this was no exception.

[aegliv]

The best quote: " we don't value good relationships". So simple, so true! Westrn societies value only tangible things.
Great hearing you Alain

[jeronimosuarez]

Alain is such an invaluable source of wisdom and one of those individuals who help as many people as those being lucky enough to find him.

[anafernandes]

"- Kindness; 2- Thoughfulness; 3- Laughter" 💡 💛

[TheHowardSinclair]

What a brilliant, gentle intelect this guy has. A true voice for "the broken who let in the light". More like this please!

[Eirileat]

My own kindness grows everytime I listen to Alain. Thank you for your generous sharing of your wisdom and experience. Indeed as human beings we do get to have regrets. Lovely to see an all male discussion for a change.

[Rana_sumit_ortho]

This man deserves all the respect and adoration humankind has to offer ❤️

[GB-TX]

8:30 "We have a really conflicted vision of the good life in our societies."

Wow. Profound.

[littlecat]

So happy to see Alain is active doing interviews and videos again ! Always love hearing him ❤