Why Did They End the Relationship?

The pain that follows the end of any relationship can be hugely aggravated by our sense that the reason they ended it was because they discovered the truth about us: that we are miserable, awful, ugly wretches. But that's highly unlikely to be true - and says more about our psyches than it does about reality. The pain of the end of love can be mitigated by exploring how we feel about ourselves.

FURTHER READING

“They’ve gone – and what we need most of all to understand is why? What is striking is that, despite what friends and well-meaning acquaintances tell us, we already know. It is us. We firmly and naturally assume that the explanation is primarily to do with us and our miserable failings. They’ve gone because we weren’t good enough. They got to know us better than almost anyone has ever done – and then, inevitably, felt horrified by the truth. It’s not the relationship that failed: we failed.”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Josh Saunders

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[PystlPete]

A break up is never your fault unless you betray someone's trust or something blatant like that. If someone can leave you for a disagreement, or without explanation and out of the blue, its best to let them go. There are couples who stay together through the most outrageous of circumstances even when no one else sees the reason why. Look for someone who will never leave you, thats what love is.

When they do leave, be grateful that you are a step closer to finding that special someone.

[MosesEmmet]

Being able to say, “I don’t know” in a culture drenched in knowledge is a virtue..

[UIMGodzilla]

Jeez this is tough, my girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me yesterday, I was just truly not expecting it at all. Looking back on it there were some little warning signs(changing whatsapp pic from both of us to just her, the amount of emojis sent) that this was coming but i thought i was being paranoid and over analyzing things bc to me at least things were great, we never had fights, when we spent time together things were close to perfect in my mind(we were long distance seeing each other usually every other week). but last time we were together about 6 weeks ago she came to realization that she'd fallen out of love, and shes been pretending to herself everything was fine, she pretend to me for those 6 weeks that things were great, then when she surprised me and told me she was going to see me tomorrow I stupidly got really excited bc 6 weeks is the longest ive not seen her and i really need a hug and cuddle. but yeah then she just said its not working. I'm so conflicted bc genuinely she is too nice of a person, always putting others before herself, so on one hand I was proud and happy for her putting herself first bc I knew that wasnt easy for her, but at the same time devastated bc I loved her more and more each day, and thought I was going to marry her. Idk I just wanted to vent somewhere, luckily I have a good support system, but yeah the one person I want to talk to about my sadness is the one that caused it

[ossen]

*Break up is a great opportunity to learn a lot of new things about yourself and life. Take this moment to back off, regroup your thoughts and get a clear vision of your goals and aspirations in life. I know it is hard but let the pain guide you. The break up didn't happen without a reason, the breaking point didn't happen instantly, it is the culmination of all underlying issues. Now it is time to dig up those issues and grow as human being, stepping on the path towards becoming the best version of yourself.* *Trust me, time will pass and you will be smiling at these hardships and being thankful that you got to experience this amazing path.*

[derekstark]

My ex & I broke up three weeks ago. I'm not entirely sure why. We weren't getting along well for a while, but just a couple months ago we were home for the holidays & having a wonderful time together. It's wild how quickly everything can change. I'm not over her and won't be for a bit...but I'm grateful for the time we had together.

[breatheliveandthrive]

"Always remind yourself on the impermanence of things."
-Marcus Aurelius

[moda-vi]

Why do I feel life school of life has been listening to my conversations to make a perfect video cure for my troubles

[titlespree]

Bad things do happen; but how we respond to them defines our character and the quality of our life.
The sadness and pain is temporary, but every bad experience has something valuable to teach us. 💪💪

[hwlovell]

The worst break up I had was with a guy that left me for another women. They started dating a few hours after we broke up. That took me years to get over.

[jaghn]

"The power to admit that we don't know is very underused and not appreciated"

If we could only admit that we truly don't know without saving face, I'm pretty sure the world would be a better place.


Always on time as always School of Life, there's a lot of people who needs videos like these more than ever.

[minervaloves]

I dated this guy when I was younger. I thought we had a good relationship. I thought I was going to marry him, but then he broke up with me. For years, I thought that he saw something bad in me and that it was my fault. Years later, I ran into him and told me that he broke up with me bc he was jealous of me. I made more money than he did and had a higher degree than he had. He said that he didn't know even know himself that was the reason why something about me really bothered him. I thought it was interesting.

[Bar_Bar]

but sometimes it IS because of the other person (toxic people for example). you just need to recognize when it IS and when it is NOT. it's not so easy though in this kind of dynamics. it can be very confusing

[kriszen]

Be comfortable with not knowing. Do not make a story out of it. That's it :)

[coachbahman]

Lately people mostly break up because of selfish reasons, a social media illusion of a relationship..

[lrm]

I was in one relationship and after that ended I decided to never be in a relationship again. We broke up about 2 years ago. Relationships aren't worth the heartbreak, because I've realized most relationships suck. Falling in love isn't worth it.

[unahp.]

People don't want love or intimacy these days. Sex is all that matters to them and nothing else. They don't like to deal with their feelings and prefer to emotionally scar anyone they deal with romantically. It's a game to them, it's like they want to hurt as many people as possible. Then not deal with the consequences of it.

[carolinek]

I did break up with my partner, but told him the reasons why, and I don’t see any of it as his fault. Some people are meant to cross paths with u, to come in your life and stir it, but they aren’t to stay for a long time.

[treasured_remembrance]

I’m here because this week he ended it reporting it was me. I though things were going well. It felt like one of the safest and most comfortable romantic relationships I’d ever been in. I was practicing vulnerability and everything. I’m now confused, sad, and just trying to move forward.

[CrystalVideo]

I am spooked because I just broke off a relationship after 3 years yesterday! I was straight forward with him on why though...it's only fair. I was honest about my part and we both agree the relationship wasn't working out. We are both sad about what never was. It is terrible when there is a bad break-up and the other person won't even say what happened!

[SaraFJones]

I left because he didn’t have time for me or spoke to me as much as he did his friends.

I was so lonely and I began to feel needy. Thought I should leave and figure out myself.