Removing a Player from Your D&D Group: 8 Warning Signs and How to Do It

When and how to remove a bad player from a D&D or RPG group is a classic dilemma for game masters. Every dungeon master has dealt with "that guy" in their gaming group at least once; every DM wishes they just weren't in the game. And yet kicking a player from a gaming group can be one of the most difficult parts of running an RPG. In this video, I discuss 8 warning signs that it's time to remove a player from your RPG or D&D game and how to do it.

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Editing ▶▶ Zack Newman
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#dnd #dungeonsanddragons

[brenndanc]

I remember when I was the dreaded "that guy" of every group I could find. I would be whiny and disruptive whenever I felt my time was being wasted. Oh how selfish and foolish I was. I am glad that one DM finally sat me down and decided to kick me for my behavior. It turned me around and now I have stuck with my current group for almost a year now, enjoying every session of it. I took a long look at myself and how I was treating others and decided to change, all I needed was that little wake up call from a DM. Kick your that guy, it might just turn them around for the better.

[rustydynamo]

He Holied his last crap... Rest in pepperonies Rogue, gone but never forgotten

[shallendor]

Our group dropped down to 3 players, and allowed a group of 4 friends join. After a some weeks, one of the people caused trouble and was asked not to return at the end of a session. WE didn't know if any of them would return. The next week, the other 3 showed up and their attitude was better towards the game, and all were great players.

[bunny]

I'm a new DM. I started this year (aroud april) dming for my childhood friend's. I'm really excited for this oportunity (the're new to table tops) so i crafted a lot things to my table (i made maps, mini manuals, exclusive npc art, real miniatures, i even managed to plot every backstory to the worldbuilding and to each other backstory so everyone has something in commun). I invited friends i know that already play dnd so it's less for me as a new dm to explain how to play to my friends and to be it more fun. I know i went big, it's my kinda thing and everyone in my table love it, 'cause it shows how much i care about them.
And, there its "that guy". He started complaning about little things around the first time we play together. Things i think it was ok to complain, so i took his criticism and changed it, but he complained about other things, and other, and other, and other. He complained to me about other player having a romantic interest on one npc he had interest too. He complained about me "not giving enough" as a dm. He complained to me when side missions weren't completed (because as a party, they didn't do it (time related side quest btw)). He yelled at one of the rookie player when she did something she think was right. He determined the rhythm of how quick can complet quest without give the party a proper time to relax (and later complained to me that i wasn't give them enough time to rolplay). This was every month. We play 1 day, and i have him closed doors complaining about every single detail for DAYS. I talked to him every time, i said that his attitude was disruptive, that he was kinda playing solo, and that i can't fix things that were him not wanting to talk to the party. I think i was clear enough (i'm autistic so i maybe miss things). In his last session together, he left the campain and said i was making him uncomfortable and removing his player agency (i only said to him "no" to his solo ideas and let the others in the party really decide if they want to do what he wants or not).

My first encounter with a problem player and it wasn't pleasant. I only regret not asking him to leave early.

[anonymousscience]

Luke: "You don't get points for long suffering in D&D"

My priest of Ilmater would disagree...

[chillialexander]

🚩: high pitched voice,
🚩:Says “stabby stabby” a lot,
🚩:Never reveals their face,
🚩: always wears edge lord black.

[minefreakout]

I like how the VOCAL minority axed him for his voice. Beautiful irony.

[nickwilliams]

All great advice, but the core of why many DMs _don't_ kick players from their games when they should is fear of confrontation. And this is why #2 is so crucial to me.

If you don't kick a persistently problematic player from your group, you're going to lose the people you _like_ running a game for.

[jeremytheviking]

It’s happened to me, i had a player that basically gave me an ultimatum becuase they didnt think that there was enough roleplay in our game, we were only 3 sessions into the game and we were all a group of strangers on Discord so everyone was still very shy and trying to get a feel for eachother. The final straw was when she started ignoring my rules during the game simply because “thats not what the book says!” Even though i made it very clear from the start that i dont play 100% by the rules on the books .

TLDR
Dont put up with shit that ruins the game for you as the dm and all the other players

[emmasilver]

Many a time I've had to tell DMs:
Your D&D players are not your children! You don't have the responsibility of putting up with their bad behavior over and over and over again for 18+ years until they finally decide to mend their ways and/or leave the group on their own volition. You don't have to do that. Kicking out a problem player is NOT the same as disowning your child.

[Patches]

all of the signs mentioned in this relate to the player we had to ask to leave (we don't just kick. we always give an ultimatum for the player to change their ways or leave cordially). He brought the game quality down (by quite literally tried to stop other players from playing their characters like they wanted to, etc), tried finding loopholes in our table rules to do things, caused several players to contact me about him, constantly tried gaslighting/manipulating me if he wanted something, made DnD unfun for me, and actively argued with everyone about rules (like a 30 minute argument about his spell slot and Metamagic usages). It took a few weeks for me to work up the courage to get him to leave, but finally did it after he sent a 2000 word rant insulting and belittling me.

After finally having him leave, we got a player to fill in the slot after him, and she's one of my best players I've had in the recent times.

[ramsayferguson]

At this point I don't even need the advice I'm just watching for the good content lol. Keep up the great content

[MrRaposaum]

00:59 this is best critic/satire on how modern game companies are reacting to social media that I have ever seen.
That slice alone was worth the whole video. Thank you sir.

[WhyYouMadBoi]

Who would hate the rogue? His catch phrase "Ho-lee crap" is iconic!!!

[njflyersfan]

I've gone through having to remove a player just about 3 months ago. It's hard and it is not something i enjoyed doing but it had to be done. This playing was sucking the fun out of the game for my other players some who told me they weren't going to stay if "x" player remained. At the same time the x player sucked my fun as DM, i started half assing my sessions. Lastly this one player laughed at and critiqued both what players said or did (with their characters) and at times what i had npcs say. She wasted a lot of play time. Finally i had a long hard talk with the player and excused her from my game. I hated doing it but when i resumed played i knew the correct choice was made. Fun was restored are games were more productive and much more laughter occurred.

[Ambers]

In my group "that player" rage quit after being told to shut up when he spent an hour arguing over a DM ruling. The DM didnt even say no, just that the dc would be harder. But bc the player didnt have a near guarantee to have his idea be a success instead of accepting and letting the dice decide, he kept hemming and hawing over what to do, and arguing why his idea should just be allowed to happen. And he left, then disappeared from the discord. Then we discussed and realized the game was actually better without him.

[slimee]

Don't worry people, the rogue always finds a way. *Always*

[Immudzen]

One of the players that has annoyed me the most is one of that treats the other players like NPCs in the game. Just casting spells on other people without permission or even telling the person first. They also like their spells to be surprises so they don't want to tell us what they are planning ahead of time which has led to a number of disasters.

It just creates a dynamic which has very little groupwork. If you are sneaking in a dungeon don't just surprise the rogue scouting for traps by polymorphing them into a giant bird and then jumping on their back because you think that is a better way to move forward.

[saibogulove]

The "good" point of people never having time to play, from my experience, is they argue much less than other type of problem players when you break it to them. I guess the "social excuse" comes into play for this.

[M.Datura]

This is illuminating.
I started playing when I was 12 or so, in a group where everyone was much older than me. My brother was the DM most of the time, and on several different campaigns his friend was DM. In the games where his friend was DMing, I would play, but effectively had no voice. When my brother would DM they would argue, and his friend would single me out to tell me all I did wrong. I played with them for 7 years, before I just couldn't do it anymore. The player I got along with best had quit, my brother was tired of DMing (I think largely due to the arguing), and they still treated me like I was a small child, even though I'd read all the rulebooks relevant, and was quite willing to do any level of roleplaying. I sat through dozens of switches in campaigns, rulesets, everything. I tried a different group later, with my brother, but there too, an incredibly annoying ruleslawyer, singled me out because I was younger than her and the others. She even critisised me for drawing my character with a different body shape than I have, and continued to essetially body shame me because I'm curvy (I use the word in the genuine sense, as "with curves" rather than as a masked way of saying rotund) and I drew my gutter rat rogue scrawny. If the people DMing those games, my brother and his other friend, had said, "Okay, you can't do that." and then consequently followed up with the "can't" of it, then maybe I'd still be playing. I haven't played since, because honestly, finding people who can be genuinely respectful of other players, and don't have to have things be super fast is not easy at all. It's really sad, because I love ttrpgs. Don't think my brother ever got that I kept declining because the groups he played with were not tolerable for me. Hope that maybe someday I can manage to find people to play with again. I'd even DM shorter campaigns for the right group.
Sorry for ranting like this. Most D&D content I don't feel so comfortable interacting with, but this was okay, and interesting.