5 Ridiculous Victorian Etiquette Rules | What the Stuff?!

These 5 Victorian customs might seem crazy by the standards of many cultures today!

Editor's Note: Some of the clips featured portray eras other than the Victorian and locations outside the British empire. These clips are used for visual reference to the type of customs discussed, which were not exclusive to the Victorian era or to British culture.

Film clips:
Great Expectations (1946)
An Ideal Husband (1999)
Topsy Turvy (1999)
Wuthering Heights (2009 miniseries)
Downton Abbey (2010-2015 series)
Pride and Prejudice (2005)
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Nicholas Nickleby (2002)
Tess (1979)
Jane Eyre (2011)
The Elephant Man (1980)

Sources:

Goodman, Ruth. "How to Be a Victorian." Liveright Publishing Corp. 2013.
Pool, Daniel. "What Jane Austen Ate and Charles Dickens Knew." Simon & Schuster. 1993.

Transcript:

* OK, imagine you’re an unmarried lady out for a stroll in 19th-century London. First of all, you better not be alone. That’s right: You need an escort. But what happens if you see a man you recognize? Well, first of all, he’s not allowed to talk to you unless you make a gesture of recognition first. Which, OK, I can kind of see the appeal of that one – you don’t have to pretend to be doing something on your phone to avoid making eye contact, etc. But let’s say you really want to stop and talk to this guy: Well... you can’t. Or at least you shouldn’t. If you want to talk to him, instead of stopping, you can offer him your hand, which he can take, but only _after_ lifting his hat, using the hand farthest away from you. Once he takes your hand, he has to walk along with you, but even then you can’t just gab away. According to _Cassell’s Household Guide_, "Strict reticence of speech and conduct should be observed in public." That means no "loud talking" or "animated discussions." And if you see a gentleman you’d like to speak to, but he’s smoking a cigar, tough luck. It is amazingly rude for a man to smoke in the presence of a woman, so if you acknowledge him, he’ll have to put out his cigar, and for all you know it might have been a really expensive cigar, and now you’ve just ruined his morning. Nice work, Myrtle.
* Do you ever have that problem where you want to date the neighbor’s daughter but you don’t know if she’s technically “on the market” yet, or if her parents still consider her a child? No? Good! Because that’s amazingly creepy! Fortunately, the Victorians had a formalized system for avoiding this problem: Presentation at court. If you were a respectable family who wanted to announce that your son or daughter was ready for courtship -- which is basically dating, minus all the fun, plus a lot of conversations with chaperones to determine if young men were predisposed to “base amusements” -- you could do this at a specialized event. Young men could be introduced at events called “levees,” which were held several times a year. Young ladies could be introduced at presentation events held at St. James Palace – and these events didn’t skimp on the pomp and protocol either. Men had to wear buckled shoes and swords. Ladies had to stick tall feathers in their hair and drag 3-yard trains behind their dresses. But once the kids are ready to start dating, that’s when the etiquette fangs really sink in:
* Lots of parents get weirdly strict and judgmental when their kids start dating, but Victorian England really took it to another level. First of all, etiquette manuals of the time advised young lovers that, technically, you’re _supposed_ to look for partners only within your own social class, because we all know how awkward it is when you’re a Baroness and you’re trying to chat up a nice Viscount, and his mother is just right over there on the fainting couch looking at you with eyes that say, “Trash.”

[AzaleaLala]

Some of the rules are pretty crazy, but we could do with more manners and etiquette in today's society.

[VanJA]

Interesting fact concerning the corsets: Around 1900, Empress Elisabeth of Austria was killed by a man who stabbed her in the heart but her corset was so tight that it actually prevented bleeding and she was able to walk another 100 metres before collapsing. Just imagine how tight that corset must have been!

[eirikmurito]

things havent changed much. high rank politicians and celebrities never talk to regular people unless u have been introduced to them..

[Jaycee-hesu]

Everyone, mean EVERYONE should chew with their mouth closed. ://

[bethrichards]

They keep showing clips of regency era films when talking about the

[Funnyfish]

Of course you can fight crime. You already have a cage to throw them in

[tylerpasop]

I like the rule about how a man has to put out his cigar before talking to a girl

[freakisme]

Crinolines wear extremely flexible and actually ver easy to move in. They weren't usually steel cages at all. They were actually a huge feminist show for back then because women used them to keep men from getting in their personal space

[VictoriaLenora]

I like the "don't talk to a lady unless she acknowledges you" rule.

[mariamightbeamonster]

i wish it was custom not to talk to people when they have their headphones in

[geymim]

just close your mouth when you chew that's all I ask

[opensprit]

Every time you enter the bathroom, for any reason whatsoever, Wash Your Damn Hands before you leave. Every. Time.

[MysticOceanDollies]

Am I the only one who wants a Victorian style dress?

[mysteria_]

Corsets weren’t uncomfortably tight, it was a bra back then basically and it served the purpose of giving a certain shape to your waist line.
I’m sure there were people who took it too far. However it was made for a healthier purpose

[DissociatedWomenIncorporated]

There's one "etiquette" rule that a lot of people still seem to follow, in that they ask "How are you?" and expect the answer to be "Fine, thank you" no matter what the truth is. If someone asks me how I am, I'll tell them the truth, good or bad. If they didn't actually want to know, well, they shouldn't have asked.

[ashamenai]

Maternity corsets were designed to support the back during pregnancy. Not as horrifying as you'd imagine. :)

[KitQT]

NO!NONONO those are HOOP SKIRTS! Crinoline is a type of fabric, still used today. It's stiff and when layered, creates the same look as hoop skirts, with more flexibility.
If I am wrong, which I don't think I am, I'll gladly accept it. So please, what is your source?

[earthtomaggie]

Nice and interesting video, BUT:
a) her name is Edith, not Agnes
b) the s in viscount is silent so it’s basically “v-eye-count”
c) crinolines were not as stiff as you indicate.. they were bendy since people still had to get through doors and stuff
d) and finally, pride and prejudice does not take place in the Victorian era, but in the regency era
😉

[jafs]

My mother in law each time I visit her 6:34

[matthewsexton]

One time I used a dinner fork to eat my salad. I'm just wild & crazy like that.