Choosing to have an only child: 'People were offended' BBC Stories

Despite the myth that only children can be selfish and lonely, one-child families are becoming more common in many countries. Harriet Noble, an only child herself, travels across Europe and asks three mothers, including her own, why they decided to stop at one.

Produced by Harriet Noble and Rob Brown

[Kat_Beezy]

I’m an only child & I also have ONLY ONE CHILD!!

My Mother didn’t regret not having more children & neither do I!!!

[thegreat]

It's horrible the way people have made this world . They've made it difficult to have a family and expensive to be alive

[hakunamatata]

I love being an only child
Nothing wrong with being incredibly independent and enjoying time alone

[allym.j]

My parents were called selfish for only having me. The thing is my mother went through complications when she had me and during her previous pregnancies, she lost her babies (2-3 times before me). It upsets me that people assume or get offended over something that they don't have a say in. It's someone elses life and pregnancy. Not yours.

[yyip]

When you have more than 3 kids, some people will call you selfish for having so many kids "depleting world resources, why not adopt, etc". When you only have one kid, people will say why only have one, the kid won't having anyone to play with. When you don't have any kids, people will call you selfish too. Just cannot satisfy everyone, just do your own thing and please dont judge others on their personal choice.

[ag]

If I weren’t an only child, I wouldn’t have had the money to get extra tuition to actually get the grades to go to university. With no debt.
I’m grateful that I’ve had everything I needed to achieve my goals because, even though they weren’t rich, my parents did their best for their only child.

[matthewcalifornian]

I'm an only child. My mother passed away when I was 4 I have so many memories of her. Right now my father is 74. They wanted a kid later in life. I'm an only child. I miss my mommy.

[kcourtney]

People try to make me feel bad for only having one child I tell them “its quality not quantity “

[blair]

Physically not everyone can do it twice, we are lucky to be able to have the opportunity once because for years I thought I wasn’t even going to be blessed with one 🙏🏻✨

[natura]

I have only one child and I will NEVER espect my daughter to drop her adult/family life and care for me when I old-I would rather go into care and she will come visiting me. I would feel very bad that I can destroy my daughter her family life, marriage etc because of my sickness. I know personal stories when happy marriage come to the end, because of taking care of sick parents-I would feel guilty on this-never trouht of raising servant for myself later in life-some parents are very egoistic

[vampqueen]

I'm 40 and I have had my first child, I feel sad that she won't have any siblings, but having PCOS and being older it will get more and more dangerous for me. I will try and give her the best life though. :)

[cleliarella]

So lovely how that Swedish mom talks about her choice to only want her daughter. Independent of societal norms and obviously loving her girl so much that her heart is full, no room for another child ❤

[mischiefmanaged]

I'm an only child and if I were to have a child, I would also have an only child. I feel like most people have so many mental damages due to having siblings and preferential parents. I want my child to be only one that receives love from me and my spouse and feel no need to compare with anyone just like I do. Only children are also close with parents, I would want to be my child's best friend too. The best thing for a child to have is a supportive loving understanding family which is actually rare these days.

[hb]

I just have the one daughter and she’s all I want. She is 17 and has never wished for a sibling. Contrary to popular opinion, she is not lonely, precocious, or immature although she is spoiled but that’s because with one there is more money. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and has changed my life for the better. I could not imagine life without her. We are very close and least I don’t find myself comparing kids or having to break up sibling fights. She won’t suffer mental health issues due to sibling rivalry like I did. Society needs to get over its hang ups about single children. They are better off, some of my daughter’s friends envy her without siblings. She has never wished for one and least I won’t be leaving a Carbon Footprint as I felt the urge to have a large family like so many are doing. One is quite enough!!

[marquesadiablo]

Just because you have a sibling, it doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be close.. grew up with a family of 4 siblings, none of us were that close growing up, we got a lot closer as we got older though and had our families which was nice.. husband also came from a family of 5 siblings.. none of them are close and only speak to each other about once a year .. really just depends on the upbringing.. there’s no right or wrong .. do what you feel is best and be grateful for what you have, whether it’s 1 or 10.. if your child feels loved, then all is good ❤️

[JL-ksjq]

nothing wrong with having just one, some people dont want kids and thats okay too.

[gabbee]

My parents wanted to be childless but they still did right by me after I came along by accident. I was raised around heaps of cousins so I got the socialization of growing up with them with the added bonus of being able to go home and not deal with them later.

I think it was a really healthy way to grow up, at least for myself. I love my cousins but I'm glad I never had siblings, or I think I'd go Cain really quick lmao.

[NikkieN]

I will never understand why people get upset when i say im not having another child. Its each for their want more do you.

[joshuadematera]

One child family is best than being many kids.

[echa]

the thing about being the only child is that you are the only one that has to bear the responsibility of taking care of your parents when they're old for the rest of their lives. Some people don't mind about that, some people do