Don't Take That From Him (You're Not His Mom)

Don't Take That From Him (You're Not His Mom)

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[serenafennell]

Don’t take that away from him. That is a powerful statement. We need to figure out how to speak up for our needs not tiptoe around our trauma.

[Moonlightmystic]

It’s has been my experience that Narcs will pester you for details of your trauma in order to “help” you but they really just end up using it as ammo against you later on

[gailcal]

It is his trauma, not yours lady. He will give you details when he is ready or never.

[password_is_taco]

I just have to say, this is one of the most reasonable, empathetic, logical, even-keeled points of view from a therapeutic person…I’m almost shocked at just how perfectly humanely reasonable all this advice is. LOVE IT!!!

[lilyrowlett]

I shared a memory with my husband from csa. He really struggled. It was a moment that propelled me forward to healing and change a bad body memory to a new experience. It showed me he could still looked at me as a woman and i wasn’t dirty. Sharing is good when it is our choice.

[sanityssakearts]

Sometimes talking about the trauma helps, and sometimes it hurts.

[thomasferris]

Always meddling and proding after asking to be left alone.

[rebecca-lily]

Well put. In marriage, we don't need our partners to be our parents, and we should not become parents to our partners.

[SurvivingOutHere]

Wow this is making me think of my own relationship with my bf. He doesnt want me to be his mom, he just wants me to be present as a girlfriend. Each time I try to fill the mom role, he backs away. He's happiest when I don't try to be anything more than just a girlfriend for him.

[ginabuffaloe]

I feel like she needs to understand boundaries

[AnnaNicoleVinopal]

I would have run if my husband said he needed the details of my abuse to have sex with me. No thanks. I didn’t know my triggers either because I had never been in a consenting relationship, and we figured them out together. He only knows what I wanted to share.

[bernadinetinker]

And she needs to recognize he has boundaries. She will never be content knowing every detail as she actually cannot handle them. He needs therapy to address his past and their relationship.

[nobslifestyle]

Wow! So good! My husband has trauma from his past and I find myself stepping around his triggers. I feel like this gave me permission to act normal and stop tiptoeing around his triggers.

[JJtvee]

Trust me you don't want to know because then you'll never get it out of your head and you don't want to be triggered while you're trying to be intimate with your husband.

[ttaylor]

I absolutely agree.💯 When he is READY, HE WILL TELL YOU. He has to come to that when HE'S READY.

[SFDOM]

Talk therapy for him. Patience from you and let him be.
And think about this, whatever he went through made him the person you wanted to be with so be with that person.

[iPixie]

My boyfriend needs to watch this. I've had a bad childhood and it seems like the more he asked and I told, the more he stepped back from me.

[purrrrrrrple]

My bf and i went through very similar trauma and we just had to give each other vague notions to be like "yeah, you get it". I wouldn't imagine instigating on his memories like this, sounds like a lot of pressure. Each will open up at their time, if they need it 🙏🏼

[MissBehaving-imvt]

As someone who has suffered childhood abuse, I find this very disturbing, why do you 'NEED' to know the details? He sadly has to carry this trauma for life, why do you need to know what happened too? Why are you forcing it? Why do you want to make him relive it over again? As a power play over him? Do you feel left out he has sympathy but you don't? You need therapy!

[samanthasleet]

This is powerful dr John. In so many categories, this can be applied. To so many situations in a marriage. Great clip