Ask Adam Savage: When to Intervene and When to Let Mistakes Happen

Tested member John England asks, "I often find it hard to balance when to knowingly allow someone to learn from their mistakes rather than provide a possible answer. Aside from 'will they shoot their eye out,' have you discovered any tricks to weighing the benefit of when and when not to step in?" Here's Adam's answer! Join this channel to support Tested and get access to perks, like asking Adam a question:

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[masterk]

"It is best to get negative reinforcement from the world and positive reinforcement from the people you love." That is some serious wisdom.

[damiengreen]

The best quote from Adam Savage ever "As adults nobody knows what's going on" hearing this from someone as successful in life as him makes me feel alot better about myself.

[triblemaster]

As a driving instructor i can say that reflection is very important.
Instead of correcting, ask questions so they explain what they are about to do. Let them "learn by themselves" instead of giving the answer

[JFSVideos]

Been watching Adam for so many years. Never really thought of him as a Dad. Not bad Adam. Good answer.

[RevUnstableBoy]

I am a motorcycle rider coach (instructor) for the MSF. one of the best things to ask a student after they attempt an exercise is "so, what did you do wrong?" most of the time they know, but just bringing it out, and having them say it out loud and acknowledge it, usually corrects it quicker then me telling them. and yes, I make sure to tell them what they did right too, as keeping their confidence up (but not too high) is important for them to learn. a typical conversation would be,
"you know what you did wrong?" "yeah, I didn't turn my head enough" "yup, your speed was good, just get that head turn on the next try" or something like that.
quick instruction, and fix one thing at a time. and let them fumble around a bit (if they are still safe) and they will get it.

[DoctorX]

I think "is this going to result in bodily harm?" and/or "will this result in financial ruin?" are probably the only boundaries you need to set on when to prevent a mistake, otherwise, lesson after mistake if needed

[NokturnalMTG]

I did a project on medieval weapons back in the 90s. My dad and I welded up and built a catapult that fired golfballs. It was really awesome

[chrisy]

Holy crap, Adam's life experiences have given him such a HUGE insight into human psychology and behavior, as well as positive developmental psychology!! You may not realize it Adam, but your insights are incredibly inspiring and positive, you are such a bright light in this dim world, keep being you

[scoob]

There are no failed tests, only learning experiences. And I've learned a lot!

[andromydous]

As a father of 3 grown kids, knowing when to step in and when to hang back is a learning process for us. As adults, your kids aren't necessarily going to want unsolicited advice from you. You have to learn to be okay with that and wait for them to come to you. As children, you're kids needs to know that there will be times when they fail, or make a mistake, and you're not always going to be there to bail them out. You want to, even when their adults, oh how you want to. Especially if it's only been a few years since they struck out on their own. It's a learning process for us parents and we will make mistakes, sometimes, in trying to help/not help with their mistakes.

[davidp]

"Until such time that they realize they're crushingly alone and the universe doesn't care about them." Love this.

[jamesworrall]

The research here is actually pretty straightforward. Be available, and wait until they ask for your help. This promotes self regulation, exploration, openness to experience, and a better sense of agency and independence.

[RodneyStevens]

I told my children from the time they could understand words, there's things that you will know that I don't know but there's also things that I know that you don't know. The things that we don't know together, we will learn together.

[OOZ]

While I don't resent him for it, having just turned 31 I haven't come close to forgetting all the blatantly wrong answers to my random kid questions that my dad made up for me to bolster the illusion that he knew everything. It ended up teaching me that "I don't know" followed by "let's figure it out together" or at the least "let's look it up" are so much better in the long run.

[khchoy]

Thank you Adam for this video. As a parent and an high school educator, this video really resonated with me. My favorite bit was near the end when you said " As long as you're making stuff with your kids, you're teaching them the best kinds of lessons". So I never pass up a chance to engage with my kids with Legos, jigsaw puzzles, model kits, and even Ikea furniture and home repairs as they got older.

[jllaine]

Balance the ideas of:
A) "will they learn from this oopsie"
against
B) "will this failure frustrate them and make them want to quit forever"

[padoco]

If the David and Goliath story is to be believed, then David is really famous for being the first guy in history to bring a gun to a knife fight.

[Thermalions]

One of the most rewarding feelings as a parent was the day I realised my son has exceeded my knowledge and experience in a subject area I'd always been his 'go to' for.

[Robinzano]

If more people took Adam's approach to raising children, this rock we inhabit would be a much better place.

[McArRuIzO]

People call me a downer when I say that everything we are and do is virtually meaningless, but I feel it's a liberating sentiment. Nothing I do matters... but then again, nothing I do matters! It's quite nice to know that all my mistakes and all my pain will be washed away by the eons. We're here for a blink, like the bubbles violently emerging and bursting on the bottom of a pot of boiling water... so we might as well enjoy the hell out of it.