Are some supportive messages better than others

[Country_sunflower]

Saying something and trying to be kind is better than not saying anything at all. Even if the message isn't worded exactly right, it's truly knowing the person cares and is trying to comfort you is what matters.

[hamneggs]

Interesting question. My hard learned observation is there are always more or less effective techniques to offer support. I've always found it is unique to the person and relationship. Also where the person is at in the grief cycle. If someone found a perfect rule wrote a book on this it would be a best seller

[ILikeFreedomYo]

I think the key language there was the reference to being supportive (as opposed to being unsupportive.)
Intent is more likely what matters.

[Raminakai]

There are too many factors to make a blanket statement about what message is best, however, it's easier, I believe to determine which messages are NEVER to be said.
Complicated human relationship require that we have some kind of handle on how that particular person fits in our world, and how they might receive the words we give them.
It's like picking out a present for someone.
I knew someone who was given a scale for a gift from her mother. Seriously.
Lots of history there, and it was extremely hurtful.
It's about the relationship not the words.

[susanschubert]

People are very confusing. They’re all so different with their preferences and decision making that could swing in any direction.

[dianastoevelaar]

Yes, it is disturbing, but each message is seen through the eye of the beholder. Depending on the emotional maturity of the beholder and their world view, their response to any particular message will be seen through that view. If they align with the message, they will like it, and if it challenges their world view, they probably won’t, unless they’re mostly mature enough to see that the message contains a more appropriate way to see their circumstance than they themselves were judging their circumstance to be.

[ugoc]

I always thought it depends on the context and the person. I guess basing on the feeling and the meaning. Can't force a feeling. But i guess most of the time i get told i didn't know what i was saying.

[Jill-jbjg]

I do think there can be supportive messages that are better than others.

[danmccoy]

I think it's important to differentiate between spoken and written messages.