SCP-294 | The Coffee Machine (SCP Orientation)

SCP Orientation is an archive of files of the SCP Foundation.

Today we will be studying Item number SCP-294: The Coffee Machine, Object Class: Euclid.

Item SCP-294 appears to be a standard coffee vending machine. Upon depositing fifty cents US currency into the coin slot, the user is prompted to enter the name of any liquid using the touchpad. Upon doing so, a standard 12-ounce paper drinking cup is placed and the liquid indicated is poured.

97 initial test runs were performed (including requests for water, coffee, beer, and soda, non-consumable liquids such as sulfuric acid, wiper fluid, and motor oil, as well as substances that do not usually exist in liquid state, such as nitrogen, iron and glass) and each one returned a success. Test runs with solid materials such as diamond have failed, however, as it appears that SCP-294 can only deliver substances that can exist in liquid state.

Testing is ongoing.

Addendum [SCP-294ac]: Dr. [REDACTED] requested "my life story" from SCP-294; SCP-294 made humming noises and shook violently for approximately 3 minutes before providing a highly viscous, opaque black liquid. Upon consumption, Dr. [REDACTED] reported that he remembered everything that had ever happened to him. Following this test, Dr. [REDACTED] entered his office and returned 48 hours later with a 538-page autobiography.


Proceed to begin your training.


Voice Over Artist: Greg Katerman; Twitter: @DatGreyMind

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Artists:
Artist: Røck
Attribution: Jakob Owens
Artist: uinsean
Artist: unknown
Artist: Xenikays værksted
Artist: DrHanza
Attribution: Fredrik Rubensson
Attribution: Leyo
Attribution: Reilleur
Attribution: AnimatedHorrorFlicks
Artist: John Henry Hintermeister
Artist: Rembrandt Peale
Artist: A. C. Tatarinov
Attribution: Keith Schengili-Roberts

Music:

#scp #scporientation #scpfoundation

[McGrewer]

This is one of the top 10 SCPs people want to be real and have for themselves.

[mohxevhoddrest]

"a cup of The Pestilence"
might be interesting - they might conclusively prove 049 - or just be inconclusive

[Hemoptysisplus]

For reason I started dying at the mans who wrote about his life

[nuclear_wizard]

"Surprise me"
"Okay, here's a cup of boiling, exploding water!"
k. a$$hole.

[jacobwalker]

Agent Joseph is reprimanded for leting the SCP take a cup of himself from his body without O5 approval I guess

[lostboy]

I thinks its awesome yall are going threw each individual SCP rather then picking and choosing. Super nice when id rather listen then read the wiki. Great job!

[-Dr.Plague-]

Dr. Bright is banned from accessing this scp

[PrincessSunnyoftheSandWings]

Another classic SCP, an anomalous coffee machine

[erossenpai]

"Hic est enim Calix Sanguinis mei"

Something like "This is the cup of my blood" or some such.

[IdealIdeas]

Agent [REDACTED] requested a "Cup of Joe" and then felt sick and passed out. DNA Matches Agent [REDACTED]

I wonder what the agent's name could have possibly been?!

[Sparrow_Bloodhunter]

friendly reminder that this is the only SCP that has canonically been able to kill 682 but the substance created a nuclear explosion before they could get it to the lizard.

[Lawsonomy]

Probably your only chance at getting ahold of SCP-006 without being O5 or killed.

[starblast]

Definitely one of my favorite SCPs. It has great potential for other experiments. And it could be used to procure exotic materials.

[Neutral_Tired]

they could probably ask for "Ink to make more like Cassie" and get exactly that, then she could finally have a friend

[thememester]

I feel sorry for the dude who got reprimanded because the machine stole his blood.

[harrisonlichtenberg]

What I wouldn't give to have one of these.

[dylanbeck]

I wonder if theyve tried cross testing with the soul extractor since it produces a liquid. Just wait until somebody goes of soul (the music) and gets "a cup of Joe('s soul)."

[blairshort]

Dr Bright is temporarily barred from SCP-294, until he is given a full work load. We are not subjecting this to your boredom Bright!

[polkalamypekopeko]

Also the funny thing about this is no one considered -
1. Cup of fountain of Youth water that grants immortality
2. The Egyptian mummy juice from that one SCP recovered from the Mana Charitable Organization
3. The color blue (/redacted log from a Keter SCP that can manifest items)
4. Infect this with 293 (obsession) and see what happens lol
5. A cup of something that will absolutely rival the effects of SCP 500, and be safely and easily replicated by conventional machines and medical drug making systems available in regular pharmaceutical industry standards. Because even giving 500 to the standards of the Everything Tree will not cover for the cloning process, we don't know if the tree has a limit.
6. A cup of seeds of the Everything Tree which retains all its anomalous abilities that which will grow in conventional gardens of suitable soil.

Congratulations, the last 2 is guaranteed to make humanity better.

[SandyTheTryhard]

This is actually so cool like wtf? so simple but so awesome