New York City crushed my dreams like a little roach 🪳 squish

To be fair...did new york city actually crush my dreams or did I just crumble under the pressure? This is a universal problem. Hopefully sharing my mistakes will help you know what to expect living in new york if you are thinking about moving here. Hopefully if you have also reached rock bottom living in nyc, then we can commiserate together :)

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[coolbeansnyc]

I really appreciate your honesty. As a native New Yorker I’ve always been bothered by the candy-coated, fairy tale myth of NYC that soooo many young people have. And shows like Sex and the City and Friends certainly haven’t helped paint any realistic pictures of New York. But I’ve never romanticized living here because I’ve experienced the real New York. And while I’m a New Yorker wherever I go and will have the city in my soul till I draw my last breathe, I’m also honest about the realities of life in New York. As do most other residents, native and transplant alike. And it can absolutely be soul sucking to live here. You find yourself often asking, “why am I still here?” And then something will happen to remind you. A perfect fall day. An afternoon stroll into a random street fair. A solo visit to your favorite museum. A delightfully unexpected string quartet playing beautiful classical music on the corner of 158th and St. Nicholas to a rapt audience of children and families. New York gets into your blood and it stays there, whether you love it or hate it. And real New Yorkers love and hate it in equal measure. Because to appreciate New York for all its beauty is to honestly recognize it for all its ugly. Thank you for your honest appreciation. I’ve happily subscribed because I fully support your journey of an authentic New York life. I look forward to seeing more of your real. Cheers from NYC.

[violetsimmonsbrain]

girl yes. I don't even live in NYC. Being a single lady in the city, I've really lost my ambition. Because I realized no matter how hard I work, I'm still treading water financially, in my career, everything. I pushed myself so far that I lost my mental health and my physical health. I realized no goal was worth losing those things for, so I simply *gave up*. I'm finding an easier way to live that can also bring me joy and fulfillment.

[micahsnow]

When you said “I don’t want to be ambitious anymore” I almost cried. I feel the exact same way. I’m still relatively new to the city and young (still a recent graduate) but I’m already feeling fed up with ambition and the endless striving. I feel like, so often, I was working and working for goals that I didn’t even care too much about achieving. I’ve decided that this season for me is more about cultivating my interests and passions and enjoying life in NYC. Cultivation, not striving. I won’t launch into an “ambitious” mode again until I’m 100% sure that I want it. It’s too easy to sell your heart and soul to your job and the hustle here but I just… I refuse. I will play the game as much as I need to but no more than that

[delsongabrielsilvajr]

Moved to NYC in 2002 and stayed till 2006. Felt the same way...and all I can say is it wasnt easy....waking up at 5am...living in a basement in Queens...short money....but for those almost 4 years it did worth it! my dreams and expectations were gigantic....living in a city full of opportunities I couldnt reach frustrations was a matter of time. I am glad I read something on a car bump' sticker that made me move back to my native country Brazil, and stay with my family and beloved ones. What did I read? "best things in life aren't

[ScreenJem]

You are pure, honest, unpretentious…so real. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to sit here and watch someone so authentic and vulnerable on a medium that is full of phoniness & bravado. I find you utterly charming and relatable. I’m in my late 50’s and have just fully embraced my lack of ambition and desire for only peace and simplicity. Consider yourself fortunate to have arrived there at 30. It’s a good place to land. Thank you for sharing your lovely self with us.

[neurofuker]

I moved away from the east coast three years ago to a city in the southwest and it has been one of the best decisions I've made in my life. I lived in Washington D.C. and frequently traveled back in forth between DC and NYC. I didn't realize how truly miserable I was and how miserable and exhausted the people around me were until I moved away. Life is so much more affordable where I live now, it's easier to make friends and I'm actually flourishing in my career because I ironically feel less drained by the lack of pressure to be ambitious.

[spolch]

It takes guts to expose yourself like that, be so vulnerable and admit so much, especially publically. Many people wouldn't admit all of those things even in therapy. Not even to themselves.

[coneil]

Very honest video. As a native NYer, I was desperate to leave, tired with the low quality of life, unaffordable housing, and just general difficulty of establishing a secure living. So I left, and now I've come back. It's hard all over this country. And especially as a Black person where you feel unwanted in so many communities and it's a fight to ignore those attitudes. I've returned to NYC, found a neighborhood I love near an enormous park, and am now fighting to find an affordable and rent-stabilized apartment so I can finally put down roots somewhere I feel wanted - because NYC really does welcome all.

[naverich]

I feel the same way. I'm 25, always wanted to be a filmmaker, but the effort it takes, the way it drains you to do all those things just to get a miniscule chance of succeeding...sometimes I feel like it is not even worth it. Growing up I was this type of guy who dreamed about achieving my dreams, leaving a dent in the world, scared of being forgotten when I'm gone...but the older I am the more I feel like being an average human being with just enough to have a happy and comfortable life is what I actually want. Is it depressing looking back at my dreams? yeah...but as time goes by you learn to appreciate what you have instead of what you could have. Btw, I really love your honesty. It makes me feel like we're friends :D

[JanetSuzanne]

“The reason you move here isn’t the reason you stay”. I’ve never lived in NYC but I’ve lived abroad and man this was better than I could’ve worded it! Moving to a new city or new country is one of the biggest and most rewarding challenges in my opinion!

[mattshaw]

I lived in NYC for 30 years and I was ambitious and full of energy. I achieve what I wanted and decided my second half of my life I will change to a different pace and like you be average. Before leaving I did the New York City marathon. Hurt my foot at mile 10 but determined to finish the race which I did. It showed that I can do anything as a reminder before I left. Now I live in Oregon with a chill lifestyle. I give thanks for NY with the diverse cultures and energy and feel satisfied I did what I wanted and now I am embarking on a new adventure

[pabulumm]

"I found out that I didn't have the drive to do anything that wasn't outwardly expected of me so therefore I did nothing and I sank, I totally sank." This hit home hard. I keep holding onto this idea that I can become better than I am but maybe it's time I accepted who I am... Really appreciate this video. Just found your channel the other day and I've been binge watching it.

[christopherkoulouris]

One of the most honest, gut wrenching takes about what it takes to live in NYC and why so many of us continue to do so, when it's obvious that there are much more saner ways to live. I lived in NYC for 28 years. I got to live my dreams. Not many people get to say that. I succeeded. But along the way I also changed into the type of person I no longer recongnized and admonished myself for: extremely aloof, indifferent, devoid of emotion, callous, and lacking my own humanity. Anyone who has lived a lifetime in NYC understands these feelings I just described. It's a coping mechanism. But I grew up along sunny shores, morning swims in the surf, a laconic disposition, a loving Greek family who have always been there for me and serenity. The coronavirus cut me off from the Northern Hemisphere and forced me to stay in Australia for a year and a half. And during that time I found my peace, my humanity and humility. It is sad, cause I lost a big love because of my attitude in NYC. One day she might forgive me. And now I am living in Europe again, where i first moved to in my early 20's. And still living the dream of a successful writer. But there's more I want to achieve here. But living in NYC trained me how to make it and equipped me with a skillset and mindset - no other city will give you. But sometimes if you bite too much of the Big Apple it can haunt you...

[newbeginnings]

I'm so grateful for the message you're bringing here. I'm French and have experienced Paris instead of New York but what I relate too most here is the overbearing weight of the hustle culture that so many of us carry around long before we're able to stop and wonder what it is we really want from life. It's crazy to me to realize we've all been sold the idea that if we're not "successful" (in terms of how success is defined by our society), if we don't leave a trace on this planet, then we're somehow failed at life or are losers. I'm 32 and have spent most of my life working so hard towards my ambitions and dreams (I wanted to be a conference interpreter and work for international institutions) only to watch them crumble one after the other because life happened in the middle and, among other things, my body and my mental health forced me to stop all that sh*t and take care of myself, my real self.

I'm only realizing now that all these years I was on autopilot mode, plain pure robot mode, never stopping for a minute to enjoy what was actually and already there, chasing after something I thought would finally make me worthy and happy. It's insane. Like you now I just want to be the most average person you can find, live in a place close to nature, have a decent job that leaves me with enough time and money to spend on my hobbies, discover my creativity and myself, and enjoy the little moments of happiness daily life can bring you.

I'm currently reading the book "The way of Integrity" by Marhta Beck and it's such a timely god-sent gift because it's all about how we're conditioned to follow culture over our true nature, and it feels like a critical piece of puzzle to get me out of the thick fog I've been in all these years, on top of being f*ing liberating. I recommend it to anyone who's in this stage of their life, and I feel so much happiness to know that so many of us are finally waking up from the illusion and are ready to start their life in better harmony with themselves, how exciting!! <3 off to watching your other videos :)

[lilbeth]

This feels so familiar. I am so depressed and tired. So so tired. I was the wonder kid in my 20s. study a new language. Move to a new country, study there, build a life, be a shining light to those behind me and honestly I don’t care anymore. I want to do the bare minimum of what is expected of me and wait till I get to leave this place. I totally relate to this video

[Temeika_B]

OMG! You are so right. I just moved here, and I am an empty nester. As a kid, I stayed in the Double Tree in TS and was enamored by the culture. I always wanted to return. My sons graduated, and I high-tailed it to NYC to live my dream: The Cosby Show, Friends, Seinfeld, Living Single, etc. A guy told me when I came, "Don't get lost." It is easy to do if you keep down paths that are no longer the way.

This place has shown me who I really am and what I really want. In six months, I am a completely different person. I quit being a permanent teacher and opted for being a sub who controls my time. I quit my Ph.D. studies. I don't have the fight in me anymore. I just want to live. Ironically, I am at peace. Thank you so much! This place is mythical, but not the way we believe.

[jeff]

This is so, very relatable. I grew up in New York, lived all my life in New York except for college, and moved to Chicago almost six years ago. New York City is a special, one-of-a-kind, place, but it's much easier for me to appreciate it when I'm just there for a few days, and have a return ticket in my pocket.

[fhhveb]

As a New Yorker, I approve of this message! Lately I'm feeling very drained out. A lot of people here are toxic! You have to have some kind of faith and still that's not always easy to keep your sanity.

[StephanieLevan]

This made me cry. With happiness - with some sadness, too. I moved to NYC and it absolutely killed me. Every day you have to go out and see what you’re made of. And when you want a “good job! You’re working the absolute hardest you’ve ever worked in your life and you’re doing it well!” Yeah right! NYC will be there to smack you in the face and remind you that it was just another day in the epicenter of the world and tomorrow you have to start over again.* Cheers to you for the honesty - I needed it. I don’t feel so alone. ❤

[Helux]

So unique. No self-entitlement, no casting blame, and acceptance after a relization. Cheers for putting it out there.

I grew in up in New York. Lived in Greenwich Village until I was 34; now I'm 65. I can say what I loved about it here is no longer here. And the types of people who can thrive here now have to have a totally different mind-set than years ago. "Money" means SO much more here than it ever did. It was great being young and not having to be driven to attain a massive salary just to have "some" mobility in this town.