People pleasing, often seen as a positive trait, can actually be a form of manipulation

People pleasing, often seen as a positive trait, can actually be a form of manipulation. Here are several reasons why:

🎥 Controlling Perceptions

People pleasers often aim to manage how others perceive them. By constantly agreeing, helping, or saying “yes,” they attempt to create an image of themselves as nice, helpful, and dependable. This manipulation of others’ perceptions is a way to control their environment and relationships.

📔 Hidden Agendas

While appearing selfless on the surface, people pleasing behaviors often come with hidden expectations. The pleaser may be seeking approval, affection, or favors in return, even if they’re not consciously aware of it[3]. This creates an unspoken transactional relationship, where kindness is offered with strings attached.

🫣 Avoiding Authenticity

People pleasers frequently suppress their true feelings and opinions to maintain harmony. This dishonesty, though well-intentioned, is manipulative as it prevents genuine interactions and relationships from forming[1]. By not expressing their real thoughts or needs, they manipulate situations to avoid potential conflict or rejection.

💞 Creating Dependency

By constantly helping others and putting their needs first, people pleasers can create a dynamic where others become dependent on them. This dependency gives the pleaser a sense of importance and control in the relationship.

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