'Cold & Unfriendly' - Are Lithuanians Really All Introverts?

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[rryyttee]

Well noted on soviet times: this is a huge trauma left from that era for older generation, even my grandma was teaching me as a child - mind your own business, don't talk to strangers, don't speak up, don't stand out (meaning don't attract attention to yourself), as she was from the times when for no reason you could have been arrested by soviet authorities just walking on a street and giggling with friends. Younger generation is definitely more open, but with the inherited baggage it takes time to build trust and relationships. Also we are northern nation - our temperament matches that.

[KevinAndrew]

I'm Irish too but consider myself a little more reserved than most, it's true that many people will stop and chat to each other in Ireland or at least say a quick "hello" as they pass in the street, even if they're complete strangers! This is particularly true in rural areas of Ireland where communities are closer knit. The Irish are social creatures, it's just part of the culture.

I actually love the more reserved attitude of most Lithuanians, it's refreshing to see a people who are straight to the point and don't waste time on small talk but remain polite and considerate of each other while doing so. There's also a great sense of community in Lithuania that I don't think people always appreciate, this really shines during national holidays and especially around Christmas time.

Finally, speaking the language is obviously a game-changer in most situations, many times I've broken the ice by simply attempting Lithuanian which is either met with astonishment or a giggle, but at the very least always seems greatly appreciated.

[JediBunny]

My grandparents were from Lithuania. My Močiute was very introverted - quiet, reserved, quite shy, but also very sweet, demure, and caring. She loved to watch people and observe them silently, often with a smile. My Papa Gus, on the other hand, was very extroverted - always happy to chat with strangers, loved to laugh, crack jokes, etc. My mom (their daughter) was raised in London, and was much more in the middle - an “ambivert” so to speak. I myself am an Introvert. I very much enjoy space and being independent, but I also really value deep, meaningful connections. Fake smiles and small talk are like sandpaper on my psyche!

[teoleno]

Latvian 🇱🇻 here. Pretty much the same. All my family members are extreme introverts and I don't like useless conversations with strangers.

[cilindras]

Best way to put it is - we are really straightforward when it comes to interacting with others - we will gladly help you, you just need to ask, we will talk to you, but only if either of us has got something meaningful to say. Generally we are a really friendly culture, it's just that we see no point in fake smiles, absurdly intricate politness and meaningless small talk. Our understanding of politeness is being honest and respectful to the other person, since humilitly, and respecting other's privacy are some of our core values

[CuriosityJuice]

I lived here for 5 years and I do see people here opening up. It also depends how you reach out to people. From my experience, their is desire to share if certain trust is there. I have experienced coffee shop baristas giving staff discount on second visit, guy sharing his personal family troubles on first meeting and government official letting me host event after first meeting.

[headsuphockeypodcast]

As an American of Lithuanian great grandparents I have met native Lithuanians who are very outgoing and friendly. Some of them I met were in my age group and we are very talkative about Lithuanian culture and Baltic culture.

[ggm-iy]

In short, we aren't the most introverted or most closed off people, but we simply dislike small, meaningless, fake talks. And yes, the elder generation still looks at any stranger suspiciously, which is the consequence of the soviet occupation.

[MultiOranuch]

My openion is opposite to you. The first time in June, 2023 I visited Lithuania with closed friends from Bangkok - I have to say that people is not cold at all. They are helpful and friendly - When we tried to find Post Office nearby HALLES MARKET in Vilnius - 3 persons have show us where .. Post office is..An Old lady who is not good at English tried to explain to us 🌻💛💚🧡 I am appreciated, really. Maybe I live in Sweden so I understand the general culture and character mentality of people in North of Europe... therefore..
I will explore Lithuniana - Lietuva more next summer. Beutiful country to visit, really.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIDEO CLIP - I get more view in the other side of Lithuania. So it is good knowledge for understanding more.. Finally I am postitive to LITHUANIA!
Best Wishes From STOCKHOLM - SWEDEN

[mignas]

About restaurant culture: look, when youre at work eating lunch, its considered rude to disturb eating person with conversations unless you directly ask or know a person well. This exactly translates to culture in restaurants. You eat - you dont speak.

[asvalias]

In Belarus, we have a teacher in university from Lithuania. He himself is pretty extraverted person, even worked on radio station back in Lithuania and he said belarusian people seemed more opened up generally

[draugami]

When my sister and niece visited Lithuania in 2015, they were approached by Lithuanian strangers who commented that my niece looked so Lithuanian. Neither my sister nor niece speak Lithuanian, although my sister's heritage is completely Lithuanian. I guess that there are some outgoing Lithuanians.
When I visited my relatives in Lithuania in 1993 for the first time, I felt included and warmly greeted and treated.

[pal]

This is well thought out and expressed fairly . People can get (too)easily offended when a discussion on character comes up . I have been there . Id say you hit on every relevant point . Language is significant . Younger generations speak more English. And the comment about the Soviets is extremely relevant . There were paid (and non paid ) KGB rats everywhere . Prior to '91 a regular person could expect to be followed when landing and see the same car parked outside for weeks. "Trauma " is an accurate word. At 3am you will hear what the Russians /Soviets did to them. Family going missing overnight was a regular occurrence . I found the people extremely warm and giving...as mentioned, once you've established a rapport . I mean extremely generous as in " stay here 2 weeks if you want, here's a room, here's a remote, here's 3 huge meals a day ..". And they're proud of their culture and happy to show it off . Even the Frank Zappa bust downtown Vilnius.

[Mindawga]

Introversion is the most accurate way to describe national lithuanian character

[TheMindoze]

I think it's old habit that still passed along with generations. In soviet times you never knew who was snitching on you, or reporting on your even on simple small things. So you don't talk and you don't disclose anything by accident.

[erik]

Been living abroad in a few places for about 9 years now, so I suppose I have some of my own first-hand experience to share.

First of all, I pity the Irish fellow living in Lithuania. In my experience, when it comes to how people interact, the Irish are our polar opposites. They are VERY outgoing people, to the point where me, as a more extroverted Lithuanian, get's tired of all the talking and chit-chatting and I need to take a break quite often from social life while I live here in Ireland as it is just too much to handle at times. I found that many Lithuanians share that sentiment with me to a greater or lesser extent.

I think it is also fair to mention how northerners are generally more introverted. There are always jokes about Finns or Estonians being extremely introverted, although jokes aside, in my experience I find the Nordic and the Baltic folks quite similar on this one, save for Danes who are usually a bit more crazy.


Lastly, when I moved from Lithuania for the first time, I used to think that we are indeed quite unfriendly and maybe even excessively rude at times when we don't have to be. Afters years of meeting all sorts of different people and seeing how others are, I found that's not the case at all. What defines "polite" can vary greatly from country to country, region to region. For some politeness is smiles, small talks and other sort of small things like that. For Lithuanians politeness is respecting peoples personal space and not bothering them with talks and smiles unless you have a specific point to make.


All in all, we are our own people, with our own way of understanding manners. And just as Lithuanians do their best to be more open and warm while abroad, people who come to Lithuania will have to adapt to the lack of warm welcome and smiles. Once they get through the initial hurdles they will see that we are in fact as friendly & warm as it gets. ✌

[Alex-jdif]

Small talk, no fake smiles best description for us Lithuanians, but once you become our friend you can be sure we will be there for you

[iamapan]

I personally am introverted and see this as a positive. When a stranger approaches I tend grow nervous(but am still put together) that is mostly because my dad's paranoia carried over to me. For example if listening to music with headphones leave one ear opened, always be aware of your surroundings, glance around every couple minutes, have something to defend yourself with(keys or smth), always lock doors.(He grew up at the end of the occupation). So when they approach I grow nervous, suspicious or concerned (since there could be an emergency). The one time I interacted with foreigners (Two Americans) I was quite surprised that they wanted to know more about me(how my english was so good) it left weird impression on me since strangers rarely talk more than they need to(or compliment eachother).

[petitevoyoute]

It’s always nice to see that other foreigners also have that struggles of the coldness of Lithuanians. The neighbors thingy was maybe the hardest hit, we were so used to at least say hi and greets each other in France and in our building people were just acting like it’s crazy to say hello, not replying and just give us a weird look. It does get better, I guess, once people around get used to having foreigners around them.
Also very true about Lithuanians that have live abroad. I had that girl at work who was so warm compared to other Lithuanians people and she lived in the UK which helped her a lot to open up (this is literally what she shared)

[FizzRacket]

I definitely believe its a generational thing, a relic of the soviet times. Just moved in an apartment and the old geezers are unfriendly, while young families want to chat. Of course not all older people, for instance, one of your points were that people from small villages might be more closed to interaction, but I find that it's the exact opposite. In the village you say hello to everyone and in the city you barely talk. Also a good portion of old folks have broken through that old mentality and some old babushkas might want to chat for hours, so be careful as they might trap you with kindness.