Signs Your Ex Is Not Over You

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It can be hard to tell if your ex is over you or not, especially if their actions are telling a different story than their words.

In fact, this is actually quite common. Your ex may tell you outright that they are over you, but is it true? The truth is that sometimes it may not be true. But other times, you ex may be doing what is called "posturing." This is where your ex is trying to hide how they actually feel in order to put out the impression that they are something other than what they are.

This is actually quite common in our society. People often try to pretend to be something other than what they are... especially after a breakup.

We believe that we need to put on a happy face and pretend that everything is great or that the breakup didn't affect us. This is rarely the case, even though this is what a lot of people will try to project to the world after a breakup.

As long as you and your ex had a meaningful relationship, you can bet that they haven't just moved on as if nothing happened. Only a robot could do that.

[FlamingCockatiel]

1. Posturing
2. Rebound relationship
3. Silent toward you; are they really struggling?
4. Posting things online to trigger you. This is hard to pinpoint in many cases (you targeted or general update? Who knows?).
5. Undergone a dramatic personality or behavior change after the breakup. Breakups happen because someone is trying to make a better life for themselves, as current life isn't working in some capacity. Rearranging external factors to try to change internal stuff without intentional work.

[MrElvin]

My ex reached out to me today. After 6 month's while being in a rebound relationship.

She asked how have I been doing, letting me know she is trying to stay positive, and admitting that she is not emotionally over the past.

She said thank for the many beautiful moments we had and for being a great man for listening ect.. I honestly did not know what to say, i did not reply till the next day.

I ended up just giving her advice because I do not know anymore if I want to try and bother working things out anymore. I ended it with do not be hard on yourself things happen unfortunately that I forgave her that no one is perfect. Btw it did not end due to an affair from either one just alot of unfortunate situations routine ect..that overwhelmed the relationship making her fall out of love and wanting to move on.

[michaelli]

I know you have posted this video soooo long ago, but I have to thank you for everything. Watching your videos helped me immensely on the road of getting my ex back. Following your teaching of focusing on emotional connection and never give up & lose hope were the best advice I have ever gotten. Just today, my ex told me on the phone that she is still in love with me and she is willing to see how things go between us once she goes into college and become independent of her parents. Thank you. Without you, I would have never ever gotten to this moment.

[iamu]

Before you guys consider what your ex is feeling, look into whether your ex was an overt, or covert, narcissistic personality. Some times their post break up actions might be hoovering, or trying to triangulate you against a new person (rebound) in their life. If your ex is indeed a narcissit, your reunion WILL be worse.

I entered no contact not get my ex back. I'm doing it because I value my happiness, and desire a non dramatic lifestyle. Once you recognize a narc, it's all just a big game to them that wants only your reactions, whether it be a happy or negative one.

[georgespangler]

Now your making sense, it's been 3 years and my ex still won't speak to me, , , I was always there for her honest loyal trustworthy and faithful, and provided her a beautiful home to live in where I payed all the bills. You never get over someone like that.

[leighcolemaninos]

They can feel that way even decades after it ended? Wow. Good to hear-you are the first one (advice rep) who has said this- watching you now. Thank you.

[arshadsain]

What the fudge..
I do all of these instead of my ex..
Fukc.. I think I am not over her..

[am]

Everything on point, my ex is doing everything you've mentioned.

[miked]

Years later, 6 to be exact, and still posturing

[Julio-eznp]

Never be around or with anyone that uses drugs. You risk ending up doing the same. Ruin your life. They need no friends to ruin, they need professional help

[anneslifeindubai]

True!... I agree...
Thanks Clay! For all of this.
It's so helpful...

[jaympinkston]

My ex is in a new relationship. We have text but she felt it was a second relationship and did not want to come off as cheating on the new relationship. When I persisted it angered her and she brought up everything that led up to the breakup and blocked me. When we were texting she said she missed me and even said she loved me. What does this mean and what can I do?

[sarajeroudi]

Thank you so much for these advices i really need it .

[Karsmoor]

Hi Clay! He keeps telling me he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me but still calls, texts we've gone out. Last time we talked I was reminiscing about some old times and then he wanted to go to dinner and back to his house. I said no and got upset because he is in a rebound relationship if that's what it is, but how can I get intimate with him when that happened and he wants no relationship with me? I said I'm not ready yet. He's tried to make me jealous too. He's gone crazy going to bars etc like you said. He's not the person he used to be. What do I do?

[poroporo_]

was trying to apologise to her but her control freak fiance stopped me what should i do?

[calbears]

Hey Clay! Love your videos man. My ex broke up with me early this year and after 2 months of no contact we started hanging out again. We had a really good time together twice, and after the second time I told her I had a really good time with her and she agreed, but then said it was a good distraction from her life. Now she barely responds to my texts and didn’t respond when I asked her to hang out again. Should I text her and take back control by saying I’ve been having a good time with her, but I want an equal relationship and don’t want to just be a distraction? Or should I just initiate no contact again? Any help would be great! Thanks!

[shayusuf]

Few days he said we just be friends cuz he said he doesn't want to lose his life n i agree cuz im hoping things gonna back be normal one day. After 2 days i not contect him suddenly he massage me he miss me.. I told him i miss him too n miss everything bout him. After one day he pick me up for dinner. And he make clear to be like this until 2 years he promised of marrying me. And until today he still greet me morning evening n night n some time miss me. I dont really understand this situation. Do you think he still wants the relationship goes on? Is he still love me?

[drewish]

Your gonna have more classes for 500 soon right ? My process has been cool and been getting assistance from LOVE ADVICE TV which is great as well .

But you sound more leaning towards being honest then some psychology. I've improved drastically and ex is still angry and bitter and being really chill

[kittydoggyMeow]

I am not on the live chat, so question: What if the person asks for no contact and then when you try to reach out they explode / get angry, and take additional measures to ensure it remains no contact. Does that mean they are really struggling with their own emotions and don't want to even explore their feelings? They just want to "shut that door?"

[johncieclark]

He was over the other night and said, “you should go for a guy like that.” Which is interesting because he still contacts me all the time.