Get Better at Conversations: Do This One Thing Now

In this video I describe one simple (but not easy) step you can take to immediately create dramatic improvements in the quality of your conversations. But most people simple will not do it.

The iPhone Effect:

Can You Connect with Me Now?

[jacob]

"Put the damn. phone. away."
*Standing Applause and Cheering*

[Raminakai]

This is incredibly important and vital information. My quality of life, especially connection with others, is suffering due to this.
Thank

[zanyryan]

It's amazing how you can put two and two together just by reading the comments! I didn't even watch the video but I'm assuming he says put your phone away to be more present in the interaction 📵🙇🏻‍♂

[egx]

Watching content like this is a far cry from scrolling through FB and Twitter etc..All day. The internet can be used in an educational or edifying way if used judiciously. Too much of almost anything is not good. Education being the exception.

[SeaTurtle]

All great points, but in addition to inappropriate eye contact, I would also add other facial expressions that can be considered weird or awkward.

[msbuff]

I completely agree. But let's reverse it. How do I have conversations with people who Won't put their phone down? I see this at work and in relationships. People use it as a crutch now and it's nearly impossible to deal with. I have confronted friends about it, but that's counterintuitive to having better conversations, lol.

Found your channel recently and I love it. I'm an elem. teacher and your content has amazing value. TY!

[Ayelet]

Yes! You said it! Put away your phone . Prioritize your people, your conversations in person are way better....and modeling respect, courtesy and interest reinforces relationships with grandchildren, coworkers, ...everyone!

[engleharddinglefester]

Try leaving it home and see how that makes you feel. You will notice you are addicted to it.

[stayinalive]

Most of my life has been pre-cellphone. My family always worked crosswords or read BOOKS during most meals. Kind of the same thing.

[Sweetgin]

Thank you thank you for your wisdom . We as a couple going to put down phone more and spend quality time with each other.❤️😊

[leeboriack]

Lots of parents raised in single parent families who are too busy as well as inexperienced in social skills in order to pass on the skill.

[ellina]

Some feed back from the digital generation. Actually grabbing a phone in the middle of the conversation is a passive aggressive way to :
1. Show a disrespect to you or what you are saying. 2. To push your borders, to see how much disrespect you can take. It’s almost the same thing as rolling eyes and to say “aghr “. And than covering it with : “I just don’t know how to make a conversation” is the final kick to show they won you. Means they managed to show the disrespect to you and get away with it. If you sincerely buy it, it’s a signal to a young person they can manipulate you whatever they wish.
That’s what you, parents don’t understand. It’s not iPhones that interrupt it, and it’s not out addictive habit, it’s YOU, unwilling to see in order not to solve the problem that has been growing for years while ignored: it’s the way to show disrespect to what you say or to you. Means it’s you, failing to reach your child that has learned LONG TIME AGO that they get away with disrespecting you as long as we cover it with some kind of “flaw” or “addiction” or “being upset with the lack of attention from you”(works the best).

[TheDavidlloydjones]

The one thing, he says, is put away your phone.
I don't have this problem: I used to carry a phone back in the days when it weighed 18 pounds and came in an over-the-shoulder bag. I was selling auto parts, and carrying the phone was part of the work. Phones were standard for plumbers and emergency surgeons, too, back then -- and we all felt sorry for one another, recognizing that we were all trapped with this damn thing because of our work.
I'm not in sales any more -- so I don't need to be enslaved by my phone. Good. I leave it on the charger at home. Check for messages every now and then.
It strikes me as odd that people carry phones around with them when they don't need to.

[brightsizelife]

“The mere presence of the phone can be distracting.” I think this is true. Based on my experience of praying: when praying you are in deep concentration so it is easily noticeable when you get distracted. If my phone is in my peripheral vision while praying, I notice that I will automatically glance at it or think about it while praying.

My hypothesis for why this happens is because we repeatedly have experiences of turning to our phone, picking it up and engaging with it throughout the day. Hence we develop a kind of instinct to attend to it and engage with it

[willlinke]

Time is our most valuable resource so interaction and conversation is not of high quality when when a cell phone interrupts and diverts attention because it leaves you feeling like you are not worth 100 percent of the other party’s focus?

[SanguineUltima]

Several of my poor quality friends tend to engage more with their phones in conversation than they do with me. They will even go so far as trying to insist on showing me videos, conversations, and pictures on their phone- all as if it's very important, which to them it may be. One in particular was so bad he was actually stepping over my bed to hold his device to the window in an attempt to get a better signal. When I implied he might put his phone down for a while, he said I was being rude by telling him what he shouldn't do.

Why is it so difficult to find decent people?

[mariannemontague-calhoun]

Good, very good suggestions! I'll watch all yr videos. But! I cannot find your name??? I'll keep trying. Thank you!

[Wobblescorp]

Sort of like how when a tv is on in any situation people are prone to look at it more than anything else.

[Zeqya]

What do you do when the other person has a phone on the table? Do I ask them politely to put away their phone? 😅

[bullinmd]

The problem I have when I say the wrong thing is the people I say this to get what I feel is EXTREME ANGER!