What to Do About My Elderly Parent's Bad Behaviors

Elderly parents' bad behaviors can be annoying or exasperating for caregivers wondering what to do and how to respond. Learn ways to balance responses to disagreeable behaviors from caregiving expert Pamela D Wilson.

[patluvsrocky]

I am live in caregiver to my parents, Mom 87, has dementia. She has all the behaviors you mentioned but the one that drives me crazy the most is she calls me if I am out of her sight for one minute, every minute. Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, and me…I am right here mom, right here, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, be right there, what do you need ma, okay coming and when I get to her, she doesn’t want anything she just wants me there or wants me to take her out. This goes on from maybe 5 in the morning until 7 or 8 at night. No break not for a minute for the past four years. Her dementia is bad, it’s hard for her to communicate what she wants and she hallucinates.
Dad 90: has been slowly declining mentally but he has an anger issue. He is much worse recently. No bathing or changing his clothes for a month. If mom bothers him for like two minutes there is yelling, things get thrown, sometimes at her, things get smashed and broken. He gets threatening and menacing so I don’t leave them alone together for any length of time and I don’t push him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. Walking the dog for maybe 15 minutes at a time and back home hoping for the best is all I can leave them. My brother comes over maybe once a week, sometimes twice to visit for a few hours. He does come if I call in desperation and tell him Dad is acting up and I can’t handle them myself.
I am exhausted and drained physically and emotionally. There is no extra money to hire any help(my helpful brother convinced my dad to pay off a 75, 000 dollar loan so most of their money is gone) I do not have power of attorney, and there is no will and I am afraid if I ask for help the state will put them in a home and take their house. I am afraid to try and get a conservatorship because of my father’s behavior. I don’t know what to do anymore so I will just keep going until I can’t anymore.

[AngelaDavis-yzxf]

No dementia, no money worries, a family that dotes and supports.
Friends, nice home, good health, no medication, independence. Choice, loved beyond measure....complains incessantly.
Ex-care supervisor now caring for my mum full time.
This video is a God send.
Thank you, subscribed 😊

[Callylily]

As an aged patent, I'd like to weight in. If a person can't show love and respect for their parent, put them in a place to be cared for. I'm still able to do a lot. I drive but have difficult time walking from the car into my docs office. I order my groceries and medicine delivered.
Maybe kids need to use those services so they only have to order what's needed.
If they hate doing laundry, find a service. Frankly, I think people make it hard on themselves by not taking advantage of programs offered. If you ask at church, people will come in to help do what kids don't want to for very little.

Mental abuse is what I have the cope with. If I wasn't a fairly strong minded woman, I wouldn't be able to take it. I've learned to not reply to his anger. I do a lot of deep breathing. Learn how. Iit works.
Totally supporting a man who needs praise for cleaning the bathtub is sad. .
I'm about ready to leave my lovely home and move into a care facility. Peace on mind for all parties is what matters most. Don't try to be a saint. There are none. Do what is best for all concerned. ❤ This rant is only a small page in the book. Care for them with love or just get out of the picture.

[suezaple]

Everytime I am on the phone with my mother she is constantly negative threatening to do away with herself, she does have anxiety issues, Health wise the paramedics have checked her out And her Dr. "Health wise", she is good for her age of 87" And doesn't have Alzheimer's. She also threatens to call the police If my brother isn't home from work at a certain time . ( he has to attend meeting after work which has been explained to her a number of times even while i am talking to her . ( He stays with her through the night). She has psw's in the early evening . I do go over but cant be there nightly. this is when she states she may as well do away with herself.. She use to call my brother at work every 10 min. ( he almost lost his job and had to block her from calling. She calls me every ten to fifteen min daily now, And always extremely Negative. I cant handle all the negativity.