Why Attachments Are Necessary

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[cancerhands]

'The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.'

[tungao]

"I choose life, and all the joy and suffering that comes with it."

[grillmster]

Perhaps the Jedi order could have taught this instead...

[juniperstardust]

Understanding that everything in life is temporary has helped me lessen the suffering found in relationships. Instead of dreading the inevitable end, I've decided to instead enjoy every second I spent with the girl I love the most, give her the best of me and helping her manifest the best of her, and make every day we spend a beautiful memory. So when the day comes, those memories will make the pain worthwhile.

Live plenty, live today, if suffering comes, also enjoy it, if happiness comes again, enjoy it again, life is to be lived.

[reganmeyer]

The key to attachments is realizing the glass is already broken.

[darkfaerytales]

My God the level of winsdom from this guy is astounding

[zaidaliahmed]

This is beautifully put, because many people and texts can make attachment seem like a bad thing, but the biggest issue is that they are unintentional, and people who see it as something bad are usually just people who are trying to "avoid" pain and suffering, but reality is with relationships there's always going to be some hurt.

[xiqueira]

Often people misread buddhism as saying you are not to form or be attached as if that meant no enjoyment and no human relationships. The meaning of no attachment is to appreciate and enjoy what is, grateful for what was, appreciating fully what is and welcoming what will come. That is non attachment. Attachment would be not being able to let go nor enjoy what now is. It is also means to not attach to what you expected or wanted and did not come to be, as a source of sufferring. Non attachment is not to have no human connections-it is to enjoy them deeply knowing they are most likely temporary as everything changes and everyone dies. This is a very common misperception of the dharma. Be in what is, strive for the best without attachment to the destination, rather doing your best to enjoy the journey and everything that comes with it.

[jennw]

Alok and Kruti looking like divine rockstars in that wedding photo!

[Zeburd]

What I’ve learnt about this topic is to understand that attachments can only ever be PROVISIONAL. Meaning they function as an efficient way to orientate towards people, situations and things that are reliably positive to us.

However, since everything is liable to change there’s no guarantees. The suffering comes from still habitually orientating to something (or someone) who no longer is as available or positive. Or persistently pursuing what was never viable in the first place.

Benefits come from developing flexibility where you can pivot from one option to another once it seems less ‘helpful’ (with gratitude), knowing that the underlying principles you actually seek are present in more than one place. When other people are involved this includes being forgiving that not everything brings what you hope for and nobody can control that.

[winklenator]

“The best thing to do is to be unattached to forming attachments.”
-Dr K gave me my new mantra to life in a YouTube short

[LstBrth]

I think we all agree that you made a great choice by choosing the attachment. Not only you brought happiness to yourself in life, but also to many others. Thank you for being a guiding light in this nowaday dark world of psychological confusion.

[tantrumane]

I grew a strong attachment with both my parents, a bond as close friends. I am 24, my mom is 64, my dad is 62. While I do understand the inescapable suffering at the end that odds hopefully far away from now, the existential dread fills me up every single day and more with time. I couldn't make bonds with any friends or find significant others, at all and not to say that can be trusted. While my bond with my family grows stronger each day, each day this big depressive understanding creeps up on me. The attachment that costs me sanity

[MjsticCpybr]

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[Gomace]

The only suffering I feel is the attachement to my back when I sit in this chair.

[JFox]

Finally! Someone that sees this. For a long time I tried to not get attached to people, but I just found myself more and more lonely and less emotionally available. I feel this was a huge mistake and look back at Buddhism as largely a failed experiment. There were some things that I took from Taoism which I still live by, but largely it was a huge investment on a path that did not serve me. I found it was more of an escape from suffering than an antidote.

[LiveLearnGame]

Unnecessary suffering can be viewed as suffering for something you attach yourself to, but does not serve a higher purpose. One of my favorite quotes is "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." by Friedrich Nietzsche.

The good thing is, YOU can choose the purpose or answer "why?". That does not mean you should e.g. immediately throw your studies out the window, just because it was your parents that made you go to university for a certain degree. Sometimes it's precisely these experiences we need to go through, as long as you know what it's good for.

With great power comes great responsibility and knowledge is power, or so I heard. Knowing yourself then means having power over and taking responsibility for yourself. This leads to intent behind your decisions and actions, leaving your fate not up to pure chance anymore.

But that much responsibility can be scary though, right? Attachment is so easy to give into, as it justifies our unnecessary suffering we already experience. "I only did this [bad thing] because...!" ... Exactly! Why?

This simple question holds so much potential power, as I'm sure many of us were taught as children. Rightfully so! We learned that others are afraid of this power though, for our actions might question their beliefs.

Which beliefs do YOU have about yourself that you are afraid to challenge?

Why are YOU scared of the power that lies within you?

[cobalius]

i'm so lonely rn (and for the past days), i dont think any breakup or rejection could be more painful than that. i'm haunted by memories, pressured by my peers and my age and my overall life status.

and with all that current pain, i dont think, i could have any meaningful relationship anyways. the sadness and mourning, my blues would k all vibes, well, except another blues ofc, but for my peers randomly being there, i'm way too young there...

[gwynethpearson]

Attachments here can just mean relationships. When you choose to avoid forming relationships in order to avoid pain all you’re doing is causing yourself the pain of isolation, which hurts so much more and makes life just that much more difficult.

[jaklongshot]

"Be unattached to forming attachments"

I wish he elaborated on that