Why You Should Embrace Mediocrity | Crispin Thurlow | TED

From "elite" pickles to "premium" baby diapers, marketers are constantly telling us to seek superiority — but "by the simple law of averages, most of us have to live a life more ordinary," says sociolinguist Crispin Thurlow. He invites us to embrace mediocrity for a change, offering a different path to contentedness without comparison.

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[jennysheets]

Love this. It's hard to find a sane balance between wanting more for yourself and enjoying the lack of strain that comes with relaxing into mediocrity.

[jedics]

It was a very large and bitter pill to accept my life wasn't going to be what I had hoped, eventually I did though and I am WAY happier being mediocre, I only do what I want now and have completely cut out all the guilt and sense of obligation as less you want the more you have really is true.

[casondrastinson]

I grew up poor. I love my boring ordinary life, even if it's not "exciting." I got my home, garden, dog & sometimes get to do fun things. I increase my salary & pay off debts, increase retirement contributions & savings.

[Zerobob]

As a software engineer, I find it concerning that most job adverts ask for a "talented software engineer" or similar... Can't I just be a solid engineer, who knows his craft well? Why do I have to present myself as a superhuman deity to get an interview?

[anneautisms]

I truly believe in intrinsic value and that humbleness is unconditional love for yourself and others. I also think being selfless is important to because it is not neglecting yourself it is just not making yourself the main focus. We’re not here to be special we’re here to hangout with other humans.

[kasondaleigh]

Excellent talk.
Be happy not being number 1.
Less stress for sure.

[akshtulsyan]

By fighting mediocrity we can never be great

But by accepting mediocirty we open the possibility of greatness

[akshtulsyan]

All we need to strive for is never to be mediocre in our gratitude, efforts, and hardwork and desire to learn and brave enough to try

[dameanvil]

01:02 🧠 Two important lessons from everyday language: Words are influential but meaning can be slippery, and language of superiority can lead to disappointment.
01:50 🤔 Philosopher Alain de Botton's concept of "status anxiety": Constant worry about not being good enough or needing to be better.
02:37 🔄 Reclaiming mediocrity: Understanding its Indo-European roots meaning "middle, " acknowledging life in the middle is statistically inevitable, and recognizing it as a privileged place.
04:17 📈 Relentless language of superiority and comparison: Examining the use of the word "elite" in various contexts, highlighting its ubiquity and potential impact on perceptions.
07:09 🌟 Language of "premium" and comparison: Exploring the concept of premium as having a little bit extra compared with others, its profitability for businesses, and its prevalence in various products and services.
09:07 💬 Symbolic violence: Discussing how words manipulate individuals against their best interests, with social comparison leaving people feeling insecure, inadequate, and unsatisfied.
09:35 🤝 Embracing mediocrity as a key to contentment: Acknowledging the inevitability of averageness, finding value and privilege in being unexceptional, and having the courage to be ordinary in a world of constant comparison.

[printface]

I teach at an "elite" prep school where students are pounded with messages of superiority; every kid says they are a Perfectionist. I explain that, if you are a perfectionist, then you are doomed to fail at your goal. Have you ever met a person who does everything perfectly? I have AP math students who are getting a C in Studio Art; they literally can not do it and do not understand it, yet they all believe they are superior perfectionists. How does that work? To circumvent the cognitive dissonance they denigrate what they are mediocre at.

[pegahsazvar]

wonderful life-changing words. I loved it. just aspiring to be better is enough, not everyone has to be the best.

[ScottAllanJensen]

I think the best message here is less of an its okay to just be par at everything and perhaps more of an accept yourself where your at. Far to many people are expecting themselves to be good or even great at everything. Only by accepting where you are at here and now can you really begin any journey in life and even more so importantly stop living in an expectation set as a standard by anyone else outside of yourself. The root of much suffering exisits in ones self and the interprtation of expectations of others onto ones self.

[phyllidaacworth]

The only comparison I find useful is to how I was in the past. Am I developing and improving on my past self? I know that I am. What is not helpful is trying to be the best in your field and comparing yourself to other people. To be enough for the life you actually want is a great place to be.

[Chubbycat]

Use mediocrity as a tool to live within your means. Take the money you save and invest it or even just save it. Now you lead a life with less stress.

[aditigadr]

Such a amazing idea so beautifully presented!

[murat_O_x]

Well, the situation we are in is like we are facing a horrendous wind against us. This wind symbolizes the difficulty of being a spectacular (not mediocre) person. If you give up totally and become depressed, the wind pushes you backwards to a death trap (complete depression), if you try harder to push forward, you probably can't since most people can't, and the only thing you get is extreme exhaustion and after some time you go back to the previous option. The only option is to try to keep your position without exhausting yourself. Not back, not forward. But this is also very hard, because of the constant extreme wind. This is like accepting mediocrity and living a decent life is being constantly vulnerable to inputs from the pop culture around you that anathematizes you for being "just mediocre" because every input we get from outside is about making ourselves super human, better than others, unique, better/best version of ourselves, etc. Since this is an inevitable consequence of the economic system which is all about persuading people and selling products, this problem will stay.

[kimlaing]

I enjoyed this talk very much. Thank you for doing it.

[michaelwillershausen]

Very good speech. 👏👍
There's a saying that I think support the opinions expressed in it: "Perfect is the enemy of good".
Being "only" good at something is most often okay. More important is that you want to strive for being better - but to do that without stress.

[尼安德鲁-nj]

In Chinese mediocrity can probably be translated to Zhongyong 中庸, a state most preferred by Confucianism

[ulptungkal]

"real courage to be ordinary"