6 Lasting Effects of Having a Narcissistic Parent - Rebecca Johnson, LMHC

🌿 In this video I dive into 6 lasting effects of having a narcissistic parent.

If you are trying to navigate an abusive relationship with a partner or parent, I’d love to chat with you.
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[BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat]

Right on. Being gaslit, talked out of your intuition can lead to ADHD, OCD, rejection sensitivity, perfectionism, depersonization, dissociation and being hypervilgent or not wanting to try at all.

[robinr]

I had an "aha" moment when you mentioned lack of boundaries can lead to being in abusive relationships. If you have been taught to have no boundaries with a parent then you are an easy mark for more abuse due to not having the skills to set boundaries. I never looked at it like that before. Thank you.

[cindysmith]

1. Mental health issues. Anxiety eggshells. Depression. Post traumatic stress disorder
2. People pleasing. Compulsion to seek others approval and love
3. Problems with interpersonal relationships. Healthy relationships are u known. Drawn to toxic people
4. Trouble with emotional intimacy and vulnerability
5. Difficulty with boundaries.
6. U healthy coping mechanisms

[janbrittingham]

How fortunate the younger generations have access to this information, trained therapists in areas brought on by childhood trauma.
67 yo. …. Your words are spot on. A therapist once asked me how I ever survived. My response was what I knew ….. I’ve had this inner voice telling me “this isn’t right”.
And looking back after learning how all these events have molded me, I see how that coping mechanism kept me sane but also made my safe place my inner world so to speak. Afraid to step out. Walking on egg shells, drawn to toxicity, trouble setting boundaries, doubting. But also strong. I still struggle - I’m a nurse( not surprising) love my work. The isolation from COVID lockdown proved to me how much I need positive social interaction. I began having very real flashbacks for the first time ever in my life. Went back to therapy for awhile.
I want to just say thank-you!
I don’t think there any way to ever forget or to never have lasting effects- but the recognition of why has validated me in so many ways. I only wish there had been this dialogue decades ago!❤

[lnicole]

My parents abused me and crapped all over me. I'm an adult now and they are both deceased, but if I never see them again, it will be too soon. They were good hardworking people, but really sucked as parents. They weren't the worst parents in the world, but they were horribly neglectful, abusive and uncaring to me and my siblings. It was hell growing up in that household, and the trauma I suffered took its toll on me and my adult life.
Some people are just not meant to be parents and really shouldn't have kids, especially those older generations.

[patriciasutherland]

Thank you Rebecca...I am 67 years old and am a product of two narcissistic parents who hated each other. They constantly fought verbally--whilst partying and leaving the older kids to babysit the younger siblings. I am the 4th of 5 children...both of my brothers are deceased, alcoholics (aged 70 and 55 when they passed). I was also sexually abused by the older brother when I was 5 years old ( again, he was the babysitter while parents were out drinking and dancing--he was 13 years old). I guess as we grow up we try to block and compartmentalize the horrible shit that is our lives...but it all starts seeping through when we reach adulthood. At this point in my life I have had had a failed marriage--thankfully no children, and a few other failed relationships. I realized during the last one that I was about to explode because everything felt so uncomfortable. I finally went into therapy and discovered that I have CPTSD--which was kind of a relief to know that I wasn't just a freaking crazy person--but the therapist was only of limited help. I realize at this point in my life that it has all passed me by...that I am alone, and that from the CPTSD I cannot trust people. My closest--and only-- close friend died suddenly 3 weeks ago and now I am just totally lost. I freaking think that parents should have to serve jail time--or some other bad punishment for completely destroying the lives and the potentials of the children that they so callously abuse...

[judisnyder]

I wish I had help from someone like you way back when I was a child because they held me back in first grade because they said I was emotionally and mentally not ready even though I tested in the 5th & 6th-grade levels. Today in my 50s, I now know why. In the 60s & 70s, school counselors had no clue what to look for in these child abuse cases when it came to emotional & mental abuse. The abuse is truly traumatic for a child that affects their learning and education!

[edwardgreacen]

This is the first Rebecca Johnson YouTube I have listened to. I am 76 and have struggled all my life with the issues she discusses. It seems that YouTube is the best place to find therapeutic counseling for children of narcissist parents. When I have seen therapists over my lifetime, they consistently avoid discussing these topics. Why? Why? My experience tells me that truth is the best way, and the only way, for a patient to progress. Yet many therapists avoid talking about the truth with their patients. The result is too many discouraged and struggling patients. Thank you Rebecca. You are talking truth here.

[beths]

How common is it for children of a narcissistic parent to acquire some of those traits themselves? My mom is a narcissist and I certainly am not but every so often I will see one of her traits pop through. I am aware enough to recognize and correct it, but it makes me feel uneasy when it happens.

[NordeggSonya]

I'm 64 and had a horrible mother and an enabler father. He hid and let her beat us bloody. My sister is also a narc with delusions of grandeur. I am an introvert with no man in my life and no desire for one. I picked men who were narcs and passive-aggressive or emotionally unavailable (not that they were bad men just not right for me). I have been making progress with boundaries and am happy and content with how my life is. I have my garden and my cats. Psilocybin cubensis helps immensely as does cannabis. You would be amazed at what the keto diet has done for me since I cut out sugars/carbs. I also developed lichen planus which is an auto immune thing due to stress. Yeah. I'll be okay. God Bless all of you and have a joyful life on your own terms.

[AndreaW-dkew]

It has been a learning process with emotional intimacy and vulnerability, trying to not always be a people pleaser and to make sure to stick to boundaries that are set.

[reneelayden]

Why, when talking about parents & negativity, do people always seem to focus on alcohol, physical abuse, etc? That was not in my life. I was just literally never allowed to be right if my mom had a different opinion or belief about something. I remember trying to explain something in different ways to her because I was right & I thought she just misunderstood. Finally realized that right & wrong had nothing to do with anything. It was all about her power over me. Tried suicide shortly thereafter.

[jennifergross]

My mother had narcissistic traits but wasn’t a full blown one. Never the less, the trauma I endured was real. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, anxiety, depression, and binge eating disorder. I am 60 years old. Many of the difficulties you discussed, years of therapy and working on myself really helped. I still have a fear of abandonment. I

[sharonjones]

Awesome video thank you. I’ve dealt with each symptom. Mother was…is…malignant narcissist. My entire life—up to age 19 when I moved out- I had to walk on eggshells. Anxiety was always through the roof if she was in the house. Because, I was in trouble for one reason or another. She told my father some type of lie about me almost daily so I was in trouble with him, all the time. Just a really bad existence. But— I’m here, have learned a tremendous amount of info and am now thriving. Practice self care folks…you matter most!!! There is hope for scapegoats, after narcissism ❤️❤️☺️

[Tracymcgrath-pe]

As a 49 yr old, I’m caring for the narcissistic father at 79. He’s worse. I’m a wreck. He was out of my home at 8yrs old so living with him. I have isolated. Alone. You hit everything for me symptom wise. Ty❤

[michelepascoe]

I relate. But what about trusting untrustworthy people and sharing emotions and thoughts too much? And over-explaining. And taking people too seriously at times. And considering fairness more important than other people seem to.
Are these likely to have resulted from being lied to endlessly by a parent you thought would love you if only you were more; a parent you made excuses for ("she doesn't understand"); who practised favouritism blatantly and slandered people behind their backs, triangulated and alienated children from their parents.

[mste]

Thank you. I can relate to everything you say. It difficult keeping toxic siblings at bay that model the narcissistic mother and think it is a good way to relate to people.

[louhortonsculpture]

Not having good boundaries is a much better interpretation of noticing that ending up in bad relationships just keeps happening.

Some toxic positivity or new age notions would explain it as being one’s own fault due to “manifesting it” or having agreed to go through this as a “lesson” in this life. And that’s a tempting explanation to believe since taking responsibility for others is pretty ingrained and goes hand in hand with no boundaries.

[ChloeLouiseTheRonnieRepublic]

I have a co-dependent relationship with the dog and the cat. They are my strength--I love them and they love me--hands down, no questions asked.

[summerbreeze]

I'm too afraid to go back to any therapist as I've been abused by them aswell. I'm sure as soon as they see I lack self esteem and confidence I'm an open book to them. Remember a lot of narcissists go into this profession too. It normally starts after the 3rd session. Im sure there must be some who continue to go back to these people as it must seem normal to them 😢