Autistic burnout: prevention and coping

Let's talk about burnout. Something that is becoming more commonly used in work settings, by neurotypical people, but how is autistic burnout different and what causes it? How can we anticipate and develop coping (and prevention) strategies for dealing with autistic burnout?

[francescoleman-williams]

Perhaps some of us would be “better off” in isolation, in nature, living in a cabin etc (sounds like heaven to me) but that’s only because the world is not set up for us.

[lemonysnickers]

I feel like I’m always either on the edge of burnout, IN burnout, or waiting for it to happen. I honestly don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I wasn’t showing these patterns and symptoms 😂

[lindalambert]

Not realizing I am on the autism spectrum, I went on a two week church trip to France, Spain and Portugal. I spent it with a migraine due to having to listen to people nonstop chattering away on the planes, train and buses. I almost flew home half way through. It felt like a forced match. It was torture. It took me a couple of months to recover. I couldn’t understand why. It certainly felt like burnout. Sadly, I am 73 and have wondered why I am so different my whole life.

[andreweinhorn]

I discovered a few years ago that both my grandfather and father began exercising every day in their mid 30s. I am now 36, and have started doing the same thing. My father and grandfather exercised every single day of their lives, my grandfather until he died at 93 and my father (who is still alive) at 75. This is a huge and highly effective coping mechanism for me. I never compromise on this. I still get burnt out, but much less frequently. And it helps to keep my anxiety at bay. I run, swim, cycle, climb. It just helps to pull my brain away from that overstimulated state. And I find that is my biggest challenge relative to neurotypical people. They so effortlessly withdraw from high levels of stimulation. I just cannot do that. But lots of exercise really helps me.

[babybirdhome]

To me, the thing that marks depression as depression that I’ve noticed when I’ve had it is that depression is actually a shift in your perception - you actually perceive the world differently and that warped perception is what causes and feeds the depressive cycle and brings about the gloomy “what’s the point” moods and dark thoughts and ideations. Burnout doesn’t involve that same warping of my perception, so although on the outside, some of it looks very similar or the same, the internal experience is not at all the same. When I’m depressed, I see the world differently. When I’m burned out, I just can’t stand the world I see at the time, but it isn’t markedly different (all things being equal) from when I’m not in burnout.

[mikaylaeager]

Thank you for doing this! I experienced burnout just last year for the first time and I thought I had had a stroke and was permanently brain damaged. None of the medical professionals I was seeing had ever heard of autistic burnout (Even though they were aware of my autism). When I found out about it while researching for myself it was the most instantaneous feeling of relief I have ever experienced. This needs to be more talked about! This is real autistic awareness stuff here!!

[kkso]

I'm interested in hearing what you all have to say about AuDHDers and escaping society. I'm at war with myself on this one. One part of me wants to escape to the middle of the woods like Sam talks about here and yet another part of me is desperate to stay connected to society. The two parts of myself are at war with each other in this way. I long for a community in the middle of the woods, living primitively, and for me to be just slightly on the outside of that. Welcomed in when I am able but yet allowed to just sit on the outside and keep watch. Anyone else feel this way?

[strawsofftheneurodivergent]

Boundaries are very important!
I isolate so much because I know from experience that I cave in at some point, make other's needs come first.. eh
That's trauma - I go into freeze or even FAWN mode because very often I just DON't know HOW to REACT to continuous demands, it is exhausting to constantly having to explain your needs, especially when you have been chronically invalidated...

[francescoleman-williams]

I find it so helpful to hear how other people are when they’re in burnout. “Childlike” for example... I’ve been really chastised for my behaviour by therapists. I’m so angry for being undiagnosed by professionals who should have known better 😢

[Jen.K]

I'm 15 minutes in and finding it difficult watching you struggling, trying to keep up with chat, interact in real time along with presenting information. This is even difficult for NT YouTube presenters. Please don't do this. Let us just chat among ourselves. Some other channels choose relevant questions from their chat, comments and discord server after the live stream, and address them during the next live stream. This works very well, is easier to watch/listen to and there is still audience participation. The videos are called something like "answering your questions episode 38" Your free flow rambling and information is so valuable and helpful. It's frustrating when you interrupt yourself because of trying to catch up with the chat. Carrying on listening love what you do, thank you so much.

[Artifem]

I relate to the physical exhaustion you mentioned so much! When I was a freshman in high school, I would come home to be absolutely drained from all of the new stimuli and people. All I could do would be to lay down for hours and not do anything, to alleviate some of the exhaustion. This happened for months and it still happens, even 4 years later. I would be so severely tired that I could barely speak or make sense of anything. I have recently pieced together that I maybe autistic, and this is just another thing that told me something was slightly different. Thank you for enlightening and helping everyone with your videos and livestreams!

[tink]

When I get burned out, it co-occurs with depression. One usually leads to the other for me. It starts with anxiety, then burnout, and then I just crash all the way down and it seeps into every aspect of my life.

[NATHAN-uzun]

Omg. The florescent lights at my job bothered me so much. But just me. How strange that lights could cause my life to spin out of control. . . But they were like top 5 reasons why. ..It was a call center so I could not escape people's voices in my ear for 8 hours a day.

[Zarex]

I know you might not believe it, but really, the reaction to the super chat comments and distractions was VERY relatable! The more incoming stimuli I have that I need to keep track of and respond to while in a limited time frame, the more frazzled I get, and ironically the less I'm able to cope with the timeframe and incoming stimuli.

The only way I can fix it is by stopping the stimuli from coming into my awareness in the first place. It's like crumbling under pressure, but only if I'm AWARE of the pressure, if I'm hyperfocused on whatever task or goal I'm attempting then I remain oblivious and unaffected.

[teapolso]

Thank you! Just a thought: One hypothesis is that depression actually is seeing world very much "as it really is" (depression realism). Autistics kind of see and experience the world without filters, very strongly and real (sensory issues, noticing every detail etc). So maybe there's a connection that's why? (own experience is that what they call a mild depression has been the basic state of mind since very little...)

[justbeegreen]

The US sucks for support systems for adults on the spectrum.

[Jamie_Wilson]

I think I'm going to use this video to remind myself that I'm totally normal in some communities, I'm just not normal in "their" community. This feels nice, this feels like belonging, anyone else know what I mean? Like I feel like all you guys are here cheering me on (sorry to use guys, I just completely missed all the pronoun stuff when it first became prominent... guys means all of you, I really don't mean to offend anyone, it just feels like masking to do that stuff when I don't really do it... anyway lol)

On that tangent 😅 Yeah, this is a nice video

[suzettesanborn]

I'm 48 and newly diagnosed with ASD. I have a son who is also diagnosed with ASD and has been since early childhood. My son is now 24 and for the last year and a half it's just been the two of us. We have been living together in a one room studio apt. so very close quarters. Ok was able to come to realize that I'm autistic. I'm now realizing I've very heavily masked my way through life. FYI, I have suffered through secret abuse from the age of 5 till 47! I went from constant abuse of every form from my step father and then at age 17 got into an abusive relationship with a Narcissist. My husband was also an alcoholic and drug addict. I was the main source of income and would Litterly almost work myself to death to cover everything. I was a nursing assistant and nurse. I also had 3 children by time I was in my mid 20's. Also all three of my sons had physical and mental disabilities including Autism, ADHD, SPD, Elhers Danlos Syndrome, and Seizures. We felt with homeless, no food, no transportation, etc. Always struggling, constantly under stress, never getting a break, never went on vacation, didn't have any family or friends for help with kids, or Anything! I myself also suffered from Chronic Illnesses such as Elhers Danlos Syndrome which is genetic, and suffered all my life. Then in late 20s diagnosed with Endometriosis and had multiple surgeries then a total hysterectomy at 30. Then in 30s diagnosed with Lupus and Fibromyalgia, and Gastroparis. Also been in a couple of life threatening auto accidents. This is just touching the surface of what's happened in my life. I was diagnosed as Emotionally disabled, Depression, Bi polar disorder, borderline personality, Anxiety, ect. It got to a point where I just stopped seeking help. Now I got away from my husband, and anyone toxic in my life. I've been extremely isolated, but I feel safe. Now it's like all of my Autistic traits are coming out, and my son says I'm acting "more autistic than him". What can I do?

[rockrchik]

I feel like I’ve been burnt out for almost a decade...

[maarakailet]

I know the stream is over, but I felt compelled to make one comment. Absolutely not! A person with ADHD cannot choose to stay focused. If I could wish myself better, I would have by now. I spent years thinking I just wasn't trying hard enough to be "normal". Now I know that I have to learn to with what i am.