Release the HIDDEN Fears That Sabotage Your Happiness

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Living under the control of fearful thoughts is one of the worst consequences of growing up with trauma. It can be impossible to perceive love, danger, or opportunity -- and this lack of perception can be deeply destructive to your happiness. In this video I respond to a letter from "Ruby," wrote to me to say she LACKS a normal level of fear, and instead walks unconsciously into trouble. I teach how to use my writing technique to release the fears that drives self-defeating behavior, whether you are conscious of that fear or not.
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[rmcd]

"Ruby", I am a 51 year old man, almost exactly in the place stated in the letter. I find myself amazed at the stupidity of so many of my choices, and where that has gotten me. Alone is hard, so very hard, that I fully understand. Thanks for sharing this lesson and for its relatability.

[jimmysroom]

Im only in my 30's and find myself in a similar place in life and my own self perception, I'm subject to these fears like the rest of us here. We tend to forget that while we may not have the connection we desire that we are not subject to toxic and emotionally predatorial connections with significant others and/or family members and while we wait for better things to come we can improve ourselves. It took incredible strength for us to break those horrible cycles and even though we might not have a romantic life partner right now it's important to remember that love can find us at any age. It's important to remember that we broke free from the past and that one day we will find a real and healthy connection. Most of us forget that many are unhappily partnered and that's no way to live.

[smileyface]

I've heard you talk about the daily practice *a lot*, but I'm so excited that you've answered one of my questions about it that I've had for a while. Guilt, shame, and remorse to be written as 'resentment at self.' Helpful. Thank you!

[RoadRunnergarage]

I struggle with fear and worry all the time... I work on it with my therapist and support group ...

[brooksea]

Daily practice:
Anything that is not calm and peace could be fear.
Anything that is shame or guit can be resentment.

Accept its existence;
Find it;
Write it down;
Release and heal from it.

[brooksea]

This video is a perfect interpretation of the essence of Daily Practice to me. After watching it three times and reading the comments, I finally understand why it's important to keep practicing to clarify my fear and resentment.

Because of CPTSD, I am just not aware of this reality: I LIVE IN fear and resentment EVERYDAY, which is why I feel there is no fear when I practice. Just like we breathe every minute, but we are not aware of the air!

Thank you, Rudy, for being brave to write the letter. Thank you, Anna, for re-phrase the letter with all the "fear" and "resentful".

[teddlyt]

This really hits home for me. Fear seems to be my primary motivation in life.

[ramblingRJ]

I can relate to Ruby. I am in my mid- 50s, divorced, no kids, living alone in my RV, and have lost hope of ever meeting someone to share my senior years with. I lost most of my money due to my failed marriage and am very envious of my highly success brother, who has a beautiful family. I feel like a loser in life.

[MyMonkeyMind]

I'm working on this practice. I'm grateful for it. Thank-you! Writing about fears and resentments is a way to consume the pain that can heal us.

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding,
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility."
Khalil Gibran

[LMorganReynolds]

You are brilliant, Anna. You've empowered us with the daily practice, and the demonstration was powerful. I rely on D.P several times a day. Did I say that on the days I don't have a pen I 'write' on my pant leg? Lol. There's pens in the car now.

[rmcd]

This letter was me, so crazy how parallel Ruby's life is, frighteningly close, almost "to the letter". You are worth every minute it takes to get the healing available.

[ginawarhol]

I love. how you worked out the problem piece by peace . I signed up and do the daily practice. I notice the days I do it I don’t have nightmares!

[jejrstans]

I appreciate you sharing how to apply the daily practice fears to everything that isn't calm and peace. That totally makes sense! I started doing the daily practice a few months ago and I always ended up feeling worse rather than a little better. I decided to do this as a tapping/eft exercise and it's been wonderful. Thanks for sharing this wonderful technique!

[Fefe]

I can relate to Ruby, and I hear you… I regret so much too! My husband’s slow demise from hopeless addiction to medically subscribed medication. My selfish, self centeredness while my daughter was a fragile beautiful little girl, too busy trying to survive & keep a roof over our heads & trying to keep my husband alive to b really emotionally available to my daughter!! Only physically, but as emotionally checked as my own parents. And still checked after his passing until to learn recently I HAVE CPTSD, on top of my severe adhd & my own recovery from addiction..but finding this channel has been life changing. Except what if u realize in your daily practise that most of my resentment is directed at MYSELF? what a shitty self centered human being I have been my whole life?

[themagicalyogi]

I am fifty. I got diabetes at the age of 14 because of the torment I faced in my home. All my life I was cheated and played with physically and emotionally by almost all men with whom I had close relationship, especially my father and brother.
Recently I got diabetic neuropathy after being tortured during the corona lockdown.
I found that certain pranayams - anulom vilom and Nadi shodhan help to restore the nervous system and wash away the trauma stored in the body. 🙏

[paintingwithhlsorayaabdo]

WOW!!!! THIS REALLY HELPED! I better understand how to write the daily practice! !!!! I've been putting it off cause I didn't understand THANK YOU!

[pmcdonald]

Thank you. I was having trouble with the definition of fear, too. This will help me do the daily practice.

[celissewillis]

I could relate so much to Ruby’s story, like oh my God!!! Even what she said about how there would be no acknowledgement from her mother; I was adopted when I was 3 & although my birth mom & I had reconnected in 2017 & become close over the years, due to the conversations we’ve had, these are not conversations that I could have with my adopted mom, because I know that she won’t acknowledge certain things. I also can relate with Ruby about what she says about not necessarily having a crappy childhood, my adopted mom wasn’t a horrible parent, but there definitely was emotional neglect & lot of dysfunction & coupled with the adoption where I recognize was something I didn’t have a say in, was out of my control, that I recognize now how impactful that is for an adult trying to sift through & understand how it affects your adult life.
I can also relate to the sister dynamic; the impression that my younger sister must be stable, because she married the guy she’s been married to for several years. However, she’s physically unhealthy & has got deep seeded anger & resentment over a lot of things from early childhood… we were both adopted & not blood. Her stuff has also strained our relationship our entire life & no attempt that I have made to be a sister to her is ever successful in the long run.

[denyablanco]

I love this. What a great video. Ann, you were amazing. I can relate with you, "Ruby!" You're not alone, and your words were wonderfully spoken.

[HS-tmxe]

This is helpful. It puts it in perspective just how much fear people carry around. I think it sneaks up on us. I was reminded of how the Bible speaks of being rooted and grounded in the love of God. This video helped give me some more understanding in that area. Thank you!