The Most Overlooked Red Flags In Dating

In this episode of Discerning Marriage, Elizabeth Busby dives into some of the most overlooked red flags in dating that can impact your relationships and your future. While red flags like communication issues or dishonesty are often discussed, these subtle but significant factors might be flying under your radar.

✨ What’s Covered in This Video:

- The role hobbies play in your relationship and why they might be a red flag
- How neglecting health and lifestyle choices can affect dating and marriage
- Why debt and financial habits should never be overlooked
- The importance of living a life of service and how it reflects on one’s character

If you're discerning marriage or navigating the dating world, understanding these often-ignored red flags is crucial for building a solid foundation with your future spouse.

00:00 Introduction
00:18 1) What Are Their Hobbies?
01:22 2) Neglecting Health
02:25 3) Debt
03:24 4) No Service
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Social Media:

[АлексБаранов-кэ]

As a man I find all these things extremely on point. You actually touched things that could quite easy become a temptation for any single person, but maybe primarily for a man. And yes, all of them are real red flags not just to a person who decides to date or not to date with you, but to yourself.

[Justyouraverageguy]

There are endless red flags since we aren’t perfect but the question is which ones have the highest potential to break the relationship and harm others. That’s where I am looking at.

Debt being a big one for people where the person doesn’t understand debt or have a plan to manage it and get out of it as opposed to the financial slavery and indentured servitude of someone like myself who is paying off debt with the little means he has and knows how to leverage it but lacks the money to pay it all off and build wealth causing me to live at home still at 28.

[gchiaway]

I know a couple happily married for almost 15 years. Both in their mid 30s with 6 kids (one of the kids in heaven). Both overweight and not caring much about food habits. I am glad they didn't listen to your red flags because otherwise, my friends I am talking about wouldn't have the beautiful, strong, Catholic, and fruitful family they have. As a constructive suggestion, please stop being too picky. Of course, we need red flags while discerning for marriage, but being too picky could potentially lead to a search for an idealistic spouse, an endless search for an ideal, not a real person. We start a family with a person, not with an idea

[ev_green_]

The one about service can be can be kinda hard to do on your own...i appreciate the ideas ! lots of volunteer stuff are in bad areas though....if i could go with a friend that would be ideal...but we are all so "individual" today that everyone has their own thing.... finding people to tag along with you is harder than people think....and before somone says to joint a young adult group, that doesnt guarantee a friendship....ive found them to still be clicky surprisingly and some people just arent looking for new friends. Their lives are full and i respect that

[bodolawale]

Gaming is my favorite hobby, but I only get to play for at most 6 hours a week and only when my friends who relocated to other countries are online. I almost never game alone anymore.

[nicholasdefilippis]

Single people don't always have the free time married people think they have. They don't have time for "service." At least not often. Shoving volunteering down their throats sounds like you think they have no value outside of free labor.

[AP]

What about Catholics with mental issues for example ADHD, trauma, depression etc.? I feel that these feel overwhelmed by all these points and in general. I miss the talking of Christians who have not the health or possibility/environment to make all this.

[Laurelin]

All these red flags really aren't so. The real red flags are those about character and personality. Is the other person kind and caring? Are they respectful of your/other people's needs, beliefs, values, dignity, desires, opinions, ideas? Have you seen them behave poorly towards people of lesser social status? Do they tend to think they are always right or to try and win a discussion at any cost? Do they put themselves at the center of stage? Do they talk all the time about themselves and their "successes"? Do they have a good sense of humour, or are they easily annoyed on trivial things? Are they ready to acknowledge their wrongs (ideas, knowledges, bejaviours) and to say sorry? Or are they constantly making excuses? Do they tend to blame always others for their problems or failings? Do they complain all.the time for their problems but never propose a personal way to address them?

[kristineh]

Lovely ideas, I’ve never had much experience with kids though !! Always makes me feel incompetent to offer to babysit

[clydedoris]

Debt on student loans, a decent car, a house is good debt it gives back to you. To a degree of course

[emilybee]

Service is of course a good thing that Christians are called to do, but babysitting for free? First of all, not every single person is going to get married. So suggesting that babysitting is preparing a person for family life could be a fallacy. If the single person wants to do that, okay. However, I wouldn't recommend that because some people (not all of course) tend to view single people as being available for use. A single person needs to gauge service vs being taken advantage of carefully. This is something that married people don't tend to think about because they can, in a sense, bow out of a lot of things because of their family. Maybe have a single person help you make these videos.

[charlesmosquera]

His/her debt becomes your debt. Hard pass.

[talia]

What do you think about pool parties? Is it alright to attend one (if a girl has a lot of guy friends)?

[justinhartnell]

I'm a little confused.
Your hobbies or their hobbies?
Confusing.