I Don't Want to Support My Fiancé's Kids!

I Don't Want to Support My Fiancé's Kids!

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[greencase]

Then marry someone with no kids. Not rocket science.

[Evil-Rod-Farva]

This is simple. Marry someone else.

I was that man’s child once. You will be a horrendous stepmom and make them hate their father.

[ayo_k]

I was in her situation once. I had to leave him. I knew I didn't want to take care of his kids financially. She should turn back while she still can easily.

[morganbarber]

Children are a package deal. The fact that he’s not dodging his responsibilities says a lot about him as a man. She needs to step off and find a single man with no children. Loving and caring for children that aren’t biologically yours takes a special person and she’s clearly not it.

[DrJaredNelson]

If you marry someone with kids, it's a package deal.

This needs to be understood way before marriage is considered.

[debconley]

So what is she doing with him? She’s obviously already playing house, and he has a family period. Great advice Dave.

[harlotteoscara]

I didn’t want to support someone else’s kids either so I married someone without kids. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[robedmund]

This father is honoring his commitment to his children. More men should do that. That financial commitment lasts until they are 18. If she can't handle that, then adios! Sounds like they both need to move on to someone different. Maybe someone in your own age range with the same priorities.

[TeKnoVKNG]

Do not get married. Age difference already is a bit much, but she doesn't want anything to do with his kids at the onset. Relationship is already doomed, they both need to go their separate ways.

[solidshake]

Doesn't want to marry someone who actually wants to support his kids from a previous relationship...

Odd standards.

[kyleavanstyn]

My adopted dad remarried a lady who resented the fact that he adopted me and so hated the idea of having to have me at the house. But she forced me to go to their house half the time so she wouldn’t have to pay child support for somebody else’s child. Mind you my adopted dad resented the fact that he adopted me after he and my mom got a divorce (they weren’t kind people) but my gosh the whole thing of them resenting me as a child lead to multiple years of mental and verbal abuse as well as just the terror of me having to live half the time knowing that these people hated me from a young age. This father needs to not marry this woman and definitely needs to find a woman who is more open to his children in the future!!

On the other hand I now am very close to my birth dad who told my step mom about me before they go married though I didn’t get to meet them till I was 18 (they lived in a different country so couldn’t... it’s a long story!) but she said she would love to meet me some day and he actually proposed to her that night though they hadn’t been dating that long. Now she is one of my closest friends and I have a baby on the way and she has been my go to support and is so kind and loving and excited to be a grandma. Find somebody like her who is open and willing to take on or at least accept your past mistakes wether it is debt, family, or kids because that will make the family! Don’t marry somebody who is already full of resentment since you have no idea what kind of damage that can do to your relationship and your poor kids!

[skipdavis]

nope. she just straight up needs to walk away and find someone with less baggage. he's not the guy for her - especially if he is stepping up to care for his children.

[G_Money_]

Do not get married! Stop being delusional. You said it yourself.

[tjones]

Say it to his face, so that he can decide whether or not he wants to marry you. You have revealed your heart to Dave, now try your it with your fiance. If he is smart and loves his children he will not marry you.

[tracyalbino-daggett]

Omg. As a child of divorce. I feel for these kids. My bio dad married a woman who obviously with time wanted nothing to do with us. Ruined our relationship with him. IF YOU CAN'T LOVE HIS KIDS. DON'T BOTHER.

[stevelangstroth]

She has a valid concern. Kiss him goodbye and find someone who has a clean slate with regards to kids and who is financially responsible. Your money WILL go to his kids. Keep your money and move on.

[dangermauz]

The man is about to make the biggest mistake of his life, if he marries her. He's much older, so he should know better.

[lee]

When I was single I did not date men with children because I did not think I would be able handle the complications. This woman needs to adopt that rule. I did the math and decided that I wanted a man who could focus 100 percent on the family we made together, with both his attention and finances. Some people criticized me for it, but I stand by my decision.

[livealifeIRL]

The fact that a couple where this is such an issue have even come close to getting married is horrifying.

[nicb]

I think it’s good she recognized this before walking down the aisle. If she prioritizes financial security, then marrying someone with the financial burdens of a previous family (obviously his kids are still family) isn’t a good fit and she should probably find someone without that burden. No shame in it-it is what it is.