This is How to Get Your Teammates To Listen @ludwig​

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #drk #mentalhealth

[CagetheOnion]

This is a trick that works universally. Wether you’re in a video game, a sport, a professional environment, or a personal relationship, if you have a criticism of someone and you want them to actually listen and think rather than fight back, ask them questions. Why did you do this? Was the outcome favorable? Am I doing something wrong? What can we both do to improve the outcome next time? These are all great ways of problem solving with people if you suspect they are doing something wrong. The other part of the equation is to remember that it’s just a suspicion, that you’re not gifted with perfect knowledge, and maybe your criticism isn’t valid for some reason you’re not yet aware of. Stay humble, have respect, ask questions, and focus on cooperation and problem solving rather than blaming and shaming and commanding. You’ll have so much more success in every aspect of your life. You can even apply this principle to yourself and your own self criticism. 😊

[maicee]

the amount of suffering that a support player has

[danielleboon]

This is the definition of “knowing how to ask.” Good managers, teachers/principals, etc., all know how to word a question in a way where the other person will give the answer they want without any grief

[LapisLazuli]

People will often accept the last option in a dichotomous question. I use this tactic all the time to move people toward healthy decision making. How you frame things makes a huge difference...and approaching things from a team stance is usually very effective.

[SleekDiamond]

I use this trick all the time.

Instead of: “you’re an idiot!”
I do: “are you an idiot!?”

[lethaldumpster]

This is my method too. Construct a way to blame anything other than them, for their mistake, even if it means blaming myself. Then offer a way they can avoid that thing that isnt their fault.
If you blame them, they get defensive and plant their feet. If you blame something else, their like "yeah, I do wanna avoid dealing with results that arent my fault, that isnt fair to me, ill change"

[alexandersvideodiary]

Hey, i noticed youve been playing league for four days straight and you haven't been to the bathroom.

[janglestick]

Always encourage people, it brings out the best in others, and helps good people be good.
(it also occasionally helps not so great people tip their hand)

[jjaapp]

I do this all the time IRL, and my coworkers think I think I'm better than they are. I am better than they are, but I am not asking them for that reason. I want people to learn to realize their own mistakes without me directly saying it. They can't learn if they are constantly relying on others to tell them they are doing something wrong.

[dani-wgrf]

everyone deciding that it'd never work bc of whatever reason or in whichever game: the instinctive reaction to immediately shut down even just the idea of trying to engage more positively with a teammate is part of the problem.

if youre going to completely disregard what he's saying, then cool just move on and keep fostering negative relationships with people around you. or you can at least give it an honest effort instead of immediately writing it off as something pointless to even bother attempting at least once

[BamaMophi]

When I used to play HotS before their team was sent over to OW, I used to use a similar tactic to this. I never had the conversation turn heated and usually saw a change within that same game. A lot of times, people don’t want to be raging, it can just be what they’re used to and will naturally progress to that point or become defensive because of it. Even if you think you’re being helpful or saying it in a helpful manner, it may feel as an attack against their gameplay or way of thinking. “You’ve done something wrong, so let me tell you how to fix it.” Nobody likes feeling wrong. People who accept that they will do wrong and want to work on that themselves will often still react badly to being told that they are wrong. That’s a societally learned reaction (at least in America) that takes years to unlearn if ever at all. So when talking with someone you don’t personally know and haven’t personally built up a rapport of trust and acceptance with, it’s best to turn a teachable moment into a moment of self reflection. By asking questions, it gives them a chance to evaluate the circumstances for themselves and find their own answers. Even if the question is one to lead them to a specific answer, it gives them a sense of urgency. My time as a teacher, this is a tool taught to use that’s very helpful for dealing with young students and their parents alike. Give them a question that still has them do what needs to be done, but in a way that puts it on their terms. “Would you like to take a nap now or in 5 minutes?” “Would you like your child to have a tutor or stay after class so I can have 1 on 1 time with them?” Even if they don’t agree with your assessment, it can put you on the same page and they can for themselves recontextualize given that context. Then they become open to having a dialogue in a way where you can figure out together what you can do to get on track. (Note: not a licensed healthcare professional)

[i_amkeith]

League players discovering manners and social skills

[misterid]

This is a universal skill that I constantly use. I call it inviting them to be part of the solution.

But it’s especially helpful in gaming where I expect toxicity as a default behavior. You want to make someone a loyal team member and not a quitter/ troll feeder? Make them feel like their input matters.

[claudiabcarvalho]

You don't know what people will do until they actually do. You gotta do you, that's the only thing you can control. If other people are bad to you with no reason, you don't have to feel sorry, because it's not your fault.

[MachMaelstrom]

This is one of those things that sounds great on paper, but isn't practical.

I've done this where we've lost a teamfight and I've said, "My bad, I should've E'd sooner" even though that's not the full story, and others have said, "F**k yeah, you should've, you f**king idiot!"

Dr. K, you're assuming that everyone's goal online is to achieve mutual respect and relationships, and a concern that being overly rude will cause long-term problems (e.g. if you flamed a coworker, you'd be screwing yourself more than them). But to most unaware, low-EQ gamers, you're depersonalized & just someone they can vent frustrations onto with no fear of long-term consequences.

[Nekufan]

I once had a tank top ask why I took a kill as a tank jungler on a gank. We're both tanks, but my match up was hyper unfavorable, I wanted a lead anyway I could get it to stay ahead of a powerfarming JG since the rest of the team wasn't exactly spitting aces. I got called out for taking kills from my mid and that top lane, so I stopped ganking entirely. They complained and I said, "Why would I engage in a gank if I don't get anything for it other than winning your lane for you?" Not gonna lie, that was the actual most toxic I ever was with League. Hands down the worst game I've ever played.

[medekhgui]

Ive never had someone flame me for bottom fragging after asking how i cam help them do their job better. You can turn a mediocre player into a carry if you support them right.

[Anim_osity]

Tyler1 is pumping his fist in the air rn

[esssttt]

Haha this reminds me of the technique where you do not ask a child “would you like some vegetables?” (“no!”), but instead “would you like this one or this one?” or “would you like three or four?”. Also works amazing, with adults as well.

[lunaticplantlover]

But it takes so much time to write so many words xD