What you didn't know about narcissists and empathy...

[NarcSurvivor]

When some people say narcissists have empathy, they’re talking about cognitive empathy. Not affective or compassionate empathy. Narcissists read into your emotions. That’s how they manipulate you and learn to push your buttons.

[jenniferwaidelich]

I don't know what's worse, not knowing you're in a narcissistic relationship or knowing you are!

[marlinamartarano]

"Empathy melts into a manipulation ' . That's all you need to know. But, you already know that ❤

[janessah.]

Your description of the dark empath and love bombing of a person with low self esteem is exactly what happened to me, down to being in grad school at the time. I'm only now digging myself out of the 20 year hole of narc emotional and verbal abuse - being around him literally made me act like a different person - and worse, think that it was my fault or "just me." Led to shame, depression, anxiety, everything you'd expect. Absolutely awful and terribly insidious. THANK YOU Dr. Ramani for the immense help you're providing to victims 🙏

[Cashews-gz]

Man she is very very good at what she is saying.

[lilac]

Thank you for (again) mentioning that autistic people have empathy. I have always felt loads of empathy and very deeply. Now that I'm truly healing, I can connect even better with both people and animals, nature. It's soooo wonderful and rich. And finally I have empathy for myself. What a game changer! ❤️

[kryssysmith]

I didn’t realize over-empathy was a thing until recently. I broke that cycle just last month. Thank you, Dr. Ramani for your content—without your channel, I wouldn’t know half of what I do now.

[LIK]

Mine I was sobbing and he was ABSOLUTELY COLD toward me . He had no concern, didnt ask what upset me, didn't hold me....NOTHING

[bronwyntanner]

You describe my whole life around the narcs. Which is why I was soo confused. And then always drawn to help and fix

I work hard at no longer feeling sorry for people and trying to fix and help. Finally!!!!

[natalimitovs]

Narcissists are very empathic and sensitive towards their own pain, they treat themselves very well.

[Fauntleroy.]

What I witness with my parents is that they are able to show compassion and empathy when witnessing or hearing about situations in which they are not involved. However, when they are involved, their "thing" (selfishness, grandiosity, immaturity, or whatever it is) innoculates them from any possibility of feeling responsible for the problems they contribute to. And as a result, their ability to feel empathy is quashed. They can only conceive of the situation through their own self-protecting lens. This must be the cognitive empathy that you describe.

[moniquejackson]

Wow, so Brilliant. Narcissists are able to LOOK like they have empathy, and it's critical to know what that looks like in different situations. BTW, you look really pretty in this one, Dr. Ramani. You are a beautiful woman.

[colleenmayes]

When the empathy feels off. Man does that resonate.

[lunaodemaris]

Thank you for making the distinction between narcissism vs neurodivergence ❤ I truly appreciate it.

[Callie-cc]

It goes to show you how truly miserable they are with themselves to have to get joy from other's pain.

[lesliejoyce]

So good! The parts about how trauma messes with empathy. This gets twisted in narcissistic relationships. The narcissist will abuse / trigger you then immediately demand empathy, then criticize your humanity if the empathy is in any way faulty, then refuse any recalibration or direct apology. Now they have you in scramble mode … maximum fawn, while they judge and criticize.

[l.]

And they have no trouble contradicting their previous assessments of you "you are so smart" in later years becomes "You don't know anything. You would fall flat on your face without me" My husband was a narcissist. My mother was a psychopath. So when I met my husband, he seemed nice by comparison. 🙄

[anonymousa-uyhk]

Let’s not forget the part where they then turn around and ask for a favour right after showing you “empathy”. It’s ALL manipulation.

[ponetium]

When the term Dark Empathy comes up I am reminded of the time I have seen one person who was very toxic talk to someone about trauma, and at first it was like empathic, but they subtly triggered that person untill they had a flashback and started crying...and the toxic person, instead of comforting the trigger person was just sitting there and watching them in a way I can't describe but was extremely upsetting. It was like they were feeding of the person in the flashback. It was very scary to look at, and not something you can explain to someone else without sounding like you make things up and is unhinged.

I wonder if anyone else have seen something like that?

[jb]

So the world really IS run by psychopaths!!!
Excellent video! It makes so much sense. Thank you again for a ton of great info... I can totally relate!!