I dumped my girlfriend after she rejected my proposal twice, now she wants to marry me.

[NightcoreNewbie]

2 things to consider. She's either cheating or she's never really loved OP in the first place. If you know you want to marry someone but then say no with the reason of "I want to make sure this will work" just means she's still contemplating her future with 1 foot out of the relationship. I hope OP left and never looked back.

[CainEverest]

Move on bro. Find someone who will happily say yes. You got this

[koresaliva]

Brother has his priorities straight. I mean, much better leaving at 4 years than to be dissapointed after 8 years and nothing is done. All the time that he could have spent with the actual person he's going to marry

[Riri_]

Basically she wants all the perks of marriage but have no intention of being in one.

They discussed about marriage and she's agreeable to it, he didn't pop out marriage out of nowhere. He gave her time before proposing again.
She's obviously lying about why she rejects him and when he wants to end the relationship, she goes all "fine, i'll marry you" which is a huge red flag. Feels like she's just using him, maybe financially, emotionally, companionship or whatnot while she surveys for a potentially better husband.

Its fair he gets a choice to exit the relationship. Hes not getting younger, better off finding a real soulmate.

[BarryisLost]

Really? A big baby? A man’s proposal is probably the most emotionally vulnerable he can ever make himself. This dude did it, twice. If I were in his place, I probably wouldn’t have made a scene. I probably would have just stood up, said, “ok”, and walked away. It would have been done right then and there.

[brucethomson]

Glad you had the guts to say NO after she said yes... She would just say she felt like you guilt tried her! Better for you in the long run!

[rdptll]

A woman who says she wants to marry you but doesn't actually do it is a woman who is still weighing her options, or she is emotionally unstable. Neither one you want as a wife. Move on.

[kabirsardana]

ahh. yes calling him a big baby would definitely get him to come back. all you did was just make him realise that he not only wasted 4 yrs on this woman but he'd have ended up in a family and with friends who would not only not take his side in issues but would actively berate him at the drop of a hat.

[thecursed]

He's her backup plan and strings him along until her set age until she finds the "right" one or settles for him as consolation price and will leave him first moment another guy shows up. Run boy. Run

[Leglessolas]

Amazing how he’s ’being a big baby’ for not wanting to sit around for years to wait for this girl to maybe say yes one day

[Cainesugars]

When they people who called him a big baby ask for his help in there time of need I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned his back on them

[underratednerd]

Let me keep chasing someone who doesn’t want to be caught by me. Classic!

[chrishuber]

You are NTA. Walk away. If a 29 year old isn't sure after 4 years of dating, she will never be sure. You were generous to give her the extra year after the first proposal. Move on to find someone who will be sure.

[kwith]

The first time, fine. Maybe she's got stuff in her life that she wants to focus on and not worry about a wedding. That being said, its not like you get engaged and then immediately need to get married RIGHT NOW. Engagements can last for a while which is fine too. But twice? Its clear she's either waiting for something, or something is going on that OP doesn't know about and should just walk away from.

[Direwolf]

1st rejection: 'I'm not in the right space' = She's still hooking up with random guys several times a week and isn't ready to stop right now.
2nd rejection: 'Not just yet' = She narrowed her options to OP plus 2-3 other guys to see which one will give her the most 'security'.
She thinks the carousel will be there forever, but she'll wake up in a few years to find that any guy worth a damn knows wnough to stay away from her worn out holes.
Then she'll find OP's number and start begging him to give her another chance, only to find out he's married to a good woman and has 2 kids.

[danteerskine]

If I'm hearing it clearly. He was the jerk for leaving her while she wasn't criticized for rejecting him, and if roles were reversed and she told him that she wanted to leave him, then he would also be labelled as a jerk.

Sounds to me that this hesitation is hiding something else and op suspected that before and to me, she wanted to leave him in due time, once she will find someone better than op. But of course, she will not be labelled as a big baby.

[maleighlovesbroadway]

If you ask someone to marry you (especially after that long) and the answer is anything but an enthusiastic “yes”, they do not love you and they’re probably not going to change anytime soon.

[purplepotato]

The problem is that she isn't giving OP a real reason. I have a friend who kept doing the same (turned down her BF's proposals), and the real reason was that she didn't think he was good enough for her. So OP is right to dip.

[nathanlong]

That must’ve really hurt, man. My sympathies. You sound like a guy looking for true love. I wish you the best.

[zenkalt]

I'm sensing some "streets" energy here... One "No" is a heavy blow, but (in the right situation) recoverable. A second one is a point of no return...