Signs You're Being Desperate & Clingy (You Need To STOP)

In this video, I’m go over some signs that you might be acting clingy and desperate, and more importantly... how to put an END to this behavior. Sometimes we don't realize we're doing these things until someone points it out so I hope you all find this video helpful.

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Instagram: @courtneycristineryan

[Raghav-txym]

0:26 Blowing up her phone.
3:00 Always worried about what she’s doing.
4:38 You’re rushing things.
5:28 Your life revolves around her.
6:58 Your mood depends on her.

[Meatheus]

This is one of the craziest things I've learned about women. I understand not liking clingy. It smells of desperation, which is very unattractive in men. Totally get it.

But then I heard about how person who cares the least in a relationship controls the relationship. And I learned the hard way that it's true. The nicer I treat my wife, the more distant she gets. Come home, give her a hug and kiss, tell her I love her, she withdraws overtime. I come home and act like she's not really there, she starts treating me nice again. And you wonder why us men give up.

[josephstevens]

"The person you're with should complement your life, not be your life".... well said, and very wise words indeed Courtney!

[samuelrodriguez]

Shout out for this great woman. She is always delivering great advice and sound wisdom. Thank you Courtney for your great service to society. Rock on.🌟🙂

[bzap]

Overthinking is definitely one I’ve struggled with and most definitely something I’m working on overcoming.

[slowdownadventures]

For anyone exhibiting these signs, you should read into attachment theory, as these are acts that an anxious-preoccupied person would do. And anxious-preoccupied tend to attract avoidant partners - a very toxic relationship dynamic. Reading more into it and actually working on myself to become more secure really helped me act less clingy!

[Beanie]

The overthinking was a constant struggle in my past relationship. I was worried about "does she still love me", "does she still appreciate me?".... etc. In general I struggled to keep healthy distance from her and it was always a topic of arguments. Thank you Ms. Ryan for this helpful video on the "Anxious" Attachment.

[kevinc]

Even at my age (57) I’ve learn so much from Courtney. Sadly, there wasn’t any advice like this when I grew up. I’m only now discovering all my past mistakes and I am looking forward to never repeating them... - Guys, hit that “Like” button, and help Courtney help us and others more; It only takes second.

[carytigani]

Definitely have been guilty of checking my phone constantly. I've only ever sent a few texts about why they haven't responded. It never goes well. It's good to live your own life and not worry about when she texts back. I think this gets to a point though. I don't want to have every reply be three days later or really late at night waking me up. There has to be a moment when you become more of a priority to them. If not, then I just lose interest in that person.

[ofSeptember]

I agree with what Courtney is saying. Love at first sight, or even first text or first meeting doesn't and shouldn't exist. If you can't wait to text someone or see them again and you can't concentrate on work, didn't those things used to be signs of love? Aren't those natural human emotions? I know, I get annoyed too when a girl texts me constantly and I sense she is desperate. But...when it goes both ways its a good sign. Maybe this is why dating apps don't work. Maybe we should stick to phone calls and meeting people through friends or at book stores and night clubs.

[Fletchuk]

I was like this in my teens. I was the chaser. No one was interested. So I taught myself if they don't show anything back, make any effort or initiate anything, then they are not worth it and that I should move on. You can learn a great deal over the years as you mature. To this day I wait to meet someone different who will show me signals I've not received before.

[eyablonovsky]

I am guilty of most of these and the best way I found to help curb the need to constantly check my phone for an answer or a text, not just from girls but from everyone, is to put your phone away and don't look it at it for the whole day. This behavior may be tied to desperate/clingy behavior but at the same time, it can also be tied to phone addiction and loneliness. If you are secure in yourself and have self-worth, confidence, and show it by taking care of yourself daily and building healthy habits, this behavior should improve. Something I'm currently working on is making more friends so that I feel less lonely and that has also halted this behavior. Phone addiction is real and detrimental to your overall physical and mental health. Put the phone away and you will feel so much better once you check it in 8 hours and see people blowing it up, the same people you thought were ignoring you.

[tko_]

The stuff she was mentioning in this video is what I used to do. I had a friend who was a female who told me what I was doing and it woke me up a little bit. This channel is about improving yourself. But you have to be honest with yourself as well. Another great video.

[rohitcrk]

Guilty of these things. And every word echoed.

Currently in the middle of redesigning myself to rebuild and reclaim my original goals.

[ExiledAssassin]

I'm guilty of the last one although it's not something I'm dating but a crush at work. The days I don't get to talk to her I'm all sad and bummed out. The days where I have her full attention and can make her laugh is the highlight of my day

[Everyday_Visionary]

As someone who’s struggled with anxious attachment for years, it was easy to think that I was the only one and that there was something wrong with me.

Spot on about not having a passion or purpose. Once I got a job (I work in healthcare) and started working out I found something to look forward to everyday and invest in.

Now I have a healthy relationship with dating and have no issues going on platonic coffee dates and I know I’ll be ok if things just don’t pan out how I thought they would in my head. You aren’t alone fellas, work on you.

[riyavaryani]

Growing up lot of things have happened to me. I was always alone, teachers and other kids including my cousins they all used to bully me. So whenever I find a friend I just clings on to that person and scare that person away. This video is very useful even if you are a girl

[endorphinrider]

You guys need the 'attitude'. "The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays or prays. No matter what happens your toes are still tapping. When you've got that you've got the 'attitude'." Demone, Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

[rlp]

It's a lot a pressure to put on someone to make them your whole life and depend on them for how you feel.

[Flupperz]

On the whole not messaging you back or taking multiple days to message you back, I've just gotten in the habit of ignoring them at this point. I get if you're busy etc, but if it's been multiple days the interest isn't there, or you're not her first choice. If they were interested they would take the time/effort to message back.

Don't put in more effort than you're getting back.