Why Your Ex Gives Mixed Signals

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When you get mixed signals from your ex, you may initially wonder if they are doing this to toy with you, string you along, or just be cruel toward you in general.

I'm not saying that this is not possible. Indeed, there are definitely mean and cruel people in this world. But if that was the type of person your ex is, then you probably would have had an inkling of this during your time together (in which case, do you really want to get your ex back at all...?).

However, more common that your ex toying with you, your ex is simply just confused and trying to figure out exactly how they feel about you and how the two of you fit into each others lives.

Of course, you would probably love for them to make a decision right here and right now.

However, if your ex is confused, they are very unlikely to make any sort of decision that you would really be happy with in this state of mind.

So, what you want to do is to take the focus off of the commitment and off of the relationship. And instead, put the focus on the connection that the two of you share without worrying about where it's going to go or how it's going to work out.

After all, the commitment doesn't create the connection, but the connection creates the commitment.

And what you're probably looking for anyway is the emotional connection that you believe getting back together will bring to you.

[lyndapeoples]

Even though this video makes a lot of sense, it's too emotionally exhausting for me. I was the one who dropped my ex for good reasons. I hate this hot and cold thing.
It's obvious that he's not willing to do the work that it requires to maintain and advance a long distance relationship. This is exhausting. He has put me through too much. I don't want this anymore.
I feel like we love each other and we still have an emotional connection and deep feelings for one another but I don't want this at this time in my life. I don't do well with drama.

[judyjb]

It all makes sooo much sense! All of it!
Thank You!

[chrismcevoy]

Focus on yourself and the people around you.

[codstaaaa]

She acts flirty and engaging one minute, then the next I get left on read. Even tho a few weeks ago when we reconnected she told me she feels like it’s the start of something happening between us again. It’s driving me crazy

[chrismcevoy]

I think I’m confused about what I want.

[mandihall]

I’m still dealing with my ex husbands confusion about whether he wants us back together or not. One day he loves me next day it seems he hates me. He does seem to care about the trauma this divorce has caused our 4 children. He did break up with affair/rebound

[MichelleShellHolliday]

My ex that I still live with has been giving me mixed messages for a while. 2 weeks ago, he said that he wanted to live his life with me. He wanted to do lots of things, go out, visit new places etc.
Then, the other day, he said that it was over. We had been out for drinks, he said he really enjoyed it and we need to do this at least once a month.
I think it's because we had an argument, and I mentioned the woman he had an affair with.

[Jesse.D]

This video was posted the day my ex broke up with me :/ still feel like I lost the love of my life.

[elenalimberg]

We were in no contact for 2 and half months. He went back to his ex. But in 2, 5 months he found out I was ill and called me. Then when we met at the stairs(live in the same apt building) he really smiled. Then he called on my burthday. Didn't want to end the call. Next day came for a signature I had to give to some document. Was smiling all the time. Took the pen from my hand in such a way, that he almost took my hand. Then next 2 days it's like I don't live on the planet earth anymore.🤦‍♀️ Any advice?🙏

[chrismcevoy]

I think I’m getting mixed signals from my ex-girlfriend Tracci.

[chrismcevoy]

I have seizures just like this guy, , whose girlfriend broke up with him because of that.

[cheraceria]

Hi Clay.
My Ex said he doesn't have will power to do all fixing up relationship stuff. He said we are not compatible means no future between us. He agreed with all things I explained, agreed about anything which was wrong in our relationship. but those didnt change his mind to keep broken up with me. I tried to do active no contact, he responds me good in chat, he said I'm above friend but not his kind of person for kinda bare bones or some sort. I'm tired. he builds defenses. I tried to build the emotional connection, but I think I need to figured out to fix my emotional connection with myself first. I hope everything will be better. I'm tired with his hot and cold behaviour, I even worry if he is an unemotional available.

[MsLittleMuse]

Hello Clay! My ex broke up with me a couple of months ago, we recently started texting again and we met up as well, i felt like we had some good connections. The thing is, he told me a couple of times that he doesnt know if we're ever gonna get back to how we were before but he wants us to at least be friends, and he always emphasizes on the "at least" as if that's the minimum he wants to be. This makes me wonder if he has expectations, expectations on feeling a certain way when we're together, and if he does wouldnt that kind of stop the flow of emotional connection? Is there some advice you can give me?
Thank you so much
Keep up this amazing work, it's been really helpful 😊

[Therealanesti]

You said in one video if they’re bring hot and cold and distant to call them out ? But when they give you mixed signals to not ? Is that the same ? Because I did that and I think it back fired because now she won’t answer my text or calls at all.

[charismaw]

He sent me a picture of himself. I’m so confused.

[melissamiller]

Hello i am having a difficult time right now, my ex has been sending me mixed signals, his actions say he wants me back but when i talked to him on the phone his words were saying he did not want to get back together and how he still cares about me and he said he was thinking a lot about our previous relationship. Now i am confused, i want him back but i don’t think i can stand to be just a friend. I need help for just one couching session what to do. For now me and my ex are giving each other some space to thinks things over. Help me

[vikaribey]

They text first day of contact great then I say I’ll give u the freedom to text when interested he said for sure. Two days go by nothing then a day of some and then again two days. Why

[annakey]

How can I build an emotional connection when there is alot of drama in his life, and we just spend time talking about that? He is currently in a relationship with the woman he cheated on me with, but that's not the drama. He's been in this relationship for months! But still sees me regularly!

[jesusshutt]

Saw my ex for the first time since the breakup about 3 months after. We ended up kissing before the night was over, but a month after that she had a new boyfriend. We have seen eachother since and she is still "touchy" with me. Mixed signals or just all in my head?

[mililly]

How long does the wall of resistance last? My ex has broken up with me 3 times in two years. And cut complete contact and then months later he contacts me. He’s done that before and gave me mixed signals. We’re on 3 months of no contact and it’s really hard.