6 Reasons Why You're Addicted to Sadness

Why aren't more people happy? And why does it seem so hard for the rest of us? Well, psychology tells us that it’s not actually that simple and that there’s a lot more to happiness than we think. In fact, some people can even come to fear happiness and become addicted to sadness instead. The good news is, we can unlearn being addicted to sadness, but it first step towards this change is mindfulness of what it all means. So, here are 6 psychology-backed reasons why you might be addicted to sadness.

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Xingyi Lim
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Seligman, M. E. (2012). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. Simon and Schuster.
Glasser, W. (1999). Choice theory: A new psychology of personal freedom. HarperPerennial.
David, M., Ceschi, G., Billieux, J., & Van der Linden, M. (2008). Depressive symptoms after trauma: is self-esteem a mediating factor?. The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 196(10), 735-742.

[Psychgo]

Can you become addicted to the feelings of being sad? Comment your thoughts and analysis.

[junehazel]

I think a lot of why people get addicted to sadness is because it kind of frees them from their responsibilities. When you feel sad, at least for me, you kind of get rid of all of your plans and responsibilities and justify it because you're feeling sad, and for some extent, it's good to allow yourself to take a day off if you're feeling really bad, but if you get addicted to it is when it becomes a problem, which should seek treatment.

[Merenq]

I'm definitely addicted to sadness. For some reason making changes and trying to improve my situation sounds too hard and scary. I'm so used to feeling down that positive changes may make me feel the opposite. So instead of feeling good or happy I may feel scared or sad

[dorkarama]

Feeling anything is better than feeling nothing. Hope has to come from somewhere.

[sakurastan]

For me, sadness comforts me. Its like a safe place, I feel something other than emptiness. This feeling has been with me longer than anyone has.

[samchiu]

It's quite simple: sadness is the only thing I can fall in love with without it avoiding me at all costs, repulsed by my presence. It's like a dark veil, enveloping me; cold, but comfortingly familiar.

No one else holds me tight as sadness does. And I don't know anyone else like I know sadness. I've spent so much time with it. No one else stays with a repulsive loser. They all just leave.

[txtfan]

Timestamps:
1:40 #1 Learned helplessness
2:25 #2 Positive reinforcement
3:04 #3 Choice theory
3:47 #4 Unhealed trauma
4:28 #5 Low self-esteem
4:59 #6 Undiagnosed mental health issues

[BourbonRose_]

Similar to positive reinforcement, sometimes sadness becomes a part of your identity, like you don't know how to act when you aren't sad.

[padixone]

How on Earth is that possible that your videos are perfectly accurate to my current mood?

[purpleperruche]

This video really caught my attention. I thought I'm the only one like this. Idk if it's exactly this or something else but I had the bad habit of making myself cry and remind me of the worst times of my life just to cry. I liked to cry, I wanted to be sad, it felt....comforting. All of my life I suffered bcs of things and when I didn't have a reason to cry, I made myself cry just to feel normal.

[Lemotzi_alt]

As a teen who so happens to be very good at giving people support and help, and observing, I have found that some, especially teens almost want to be sad. I think among teens it is mostly the second reason. Most teens do not receive a lot of positive reinforcement, but we can get it by being sad, and almost doing a pity act. I don't believe it is a pity act, but some maybe doing it so they can feed an ego. Things like that can be a little frustrating when you want to help them feel better, since you can't because nothing was ever wrong, they almost just create problems and issues just so they can tell all their friends about it and receive love and support. Not everyone is a fraud for attention, but some are. I don't like how draining these people can be. I've honestly dealt with too many of these people to count, and it has absolutely destroyed me as a person and I honestly have received some mental trauma. I get scared of my friends when they get sad now, and I fear helping. I want to help, but I fear what it will do to me. I fear I will fall into despair like I have before. I fear I will be drained of everything I have and almost become bound to just helping them and never being free to my own life. I fear becoming a slave. My biggest fear my whole life has been not being able to move forward with life, and these people make it impossible, since they can't be happy, they just want to be sad. Sorry about ranting, but thank you for reading this all. I promise I'm not degrading them, I think some actually need some help, but some just need to be avoided because there is nothing to do.sorry everyone, please don't hate me for this view

[ljnon-pro]

I'm addicted to sadness because I like sadness. It has been with me for so long that it is now a part of my character. And most importantly being depressed helps me analyse myself so that I can know what someone is thinking when they are sad.

[JusFoNo]

*My personal reason is:*
Whenever I do end up feeling sad or angry, I want to hold onto that feeling rather then trying to make myself happy, because I feel like that invalidates the fact that I was sad/angry at all. Because I know that I'm gonna feel better sooner or later, it makes that past sad feeling seem unimportant and invalid once I feel better. I want my sadness/angriness to feel validated, to know that it was there.

[darwinshrugged]

This resonates. As long as I can remember, I've been addicted to sadness. It can manifest through a deep sense of All Is Lost, or profound loneliness, or often even an almost sweet melancholy. Thing is, after ~40 years I can't imagine living without this feeling. It's become part of my self, and everytime I am being too preoccupied by life to really FEEL the thing, my sense of self begins to evaporate.

[jeffreybrinker]

Depression is propelled by fear of alot of things or maybe failure, if your mind is strong you can easily pull yourself out. Cbd oil can be very effective stopped me from addiction drinking and smoking alot, very good for mental health therapy.

[selesiagaming]

Sadness is like my daily routine now for year....after spending a day...late at midnight i used to sneak out spend some time alone thinking and started being sad for no reason at all, i think its mainly cos of something we experience in our past, present...sometimes it hurts so much but cant cry it out, grabbing our chest..but still repeating this everyday..

[bigtest]

i lost everything almost 3 years ago, my family, my hard earned job, my church and friends. I have had anxiety and sadness non stop. Sometimes i try to remember how "being happy" feels like. nothing seems right, i cannot trust people anymore for fear of getting hurt, even i have nothing to lose anymore. But your videos help me get by, thank you so much.

[douglaskaplon]

One of the hardest things I I needed to do was learning to forgive myself. It was hard. But I found the reason to.

[Lavenderlove-yu]

For me I was addicted to being sad for awhile, I am finally getting some closure from my trauma and also learning that not all trauma can be solved, moving on doesn’t always work but some it does and spotting that has been hard but I am finally getting better and I’m really proud of myself for that

[re.liable]

Positive reinforcement. Yes. Because my mood is a wheel that goes down and surely goes back up. The process of "getting back up" is what I'm addicted to, even if I'm just back to the same place as before. The realization of which actually plunges me back down, goes back up, and so on.