Is masculine culture toxic for boys?

"The Mask You Live In" documentary film suggests that American male culture forces boys to suppress their humanity, making many of them dangerous. In this response, AEI scholar Christina Hoff Sommers discusses the problem with failing to distinguish between two very different types of masculinity.

Attributions:
Gustavo Bernal
CliftonParkSoccer
Spencer Hanson
Jake Hirsch
Lennart Huper
I Want Moore Retro
Kid ColOURs
The Representation Project
Table Four Films

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Is masculine culture toxic for boys?

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[clermeil]

I love what this woman has to say, "Being a boy is not a social disease."

[Nodrog]

I wish more feminists were as intellectually honest as Sommers. Her views on equality and prosperity are what the movement SHOULD be about

[jmeditation]

This woman is making a major contribution to our society.

[oscarstrokosz]

Toxic masculinity is toxic. Normal masculinity isn't.
I'm with the art of manliness. Good video.

[trottheblackdog]

I love how women are the experts on manhood and men are the experts on nothing.

[jongarman]

The problem happens when you judge a Man by actions and tendencies most often found in Women. "If you judge a fish by how well it can climb a tree, it'll go its whole life thinking it's stupid." -Albert Einstein

[TexKimball]

The core of masculinity has always been about two things: Competition (healthy and positive competition) and Self Worth. I think this is why we naturally see boys who often have a competitive spirit. In school, you see boys competing over every little thing; who can run the fastest, do the best at sports, who's the best at video games, etc. They always want to be the best. From what I've observed, girls are more likely to try and work together or partake in actions that don't involve such direct adversity. Which is why women/girls operate excellent in group situations. Although many men take a "lone-wolf" approach, they can still operate well in groups, but mainly when all of their priorities are in line with each other's; that is when great comradery forms. These attitudes I assume come from long ago in human history when survival was key, it probably worked well and that's how we were wired to behave.

I see many 3rd wave feminists saying masculinity is "toxic" and not needed, or trying to tell men what the definition of masculinity is (the most common definition I see is "domination of the weak"). But like I said before, it has always come down to competition and self worth. Trying to out-perform your opponents and be the best person you can be to the ones you love is really what has driven society forward; and this can come from both sexes. Just because there are men in the world who choose a path of violence and anger on their journey to self worth and success, does not mean that is what masculinity is. But that is a picture that has been painted. Dishonesty, cruelty, violence, jealousy has caused the worlds problems, not masculinity itself. Men who have chosen a dark path, and still do to this very day.

Teaching men that they need to be more feminine is honestly bogus. Men deal with emotions and feelings differently than women. They process it in their mind, act upon it to fix it, or move on, which is why many men don't opt to talk about their problems as openly as women; in many cases they simply don't need to. In fact, many men feel that they don't want to trouble others with their problems. Of course bottling up emotions ins bad, but we all must do what works best for us personally, whether it be talking it out, or processing it by ourselves.

All in all, teaching our boys honour and respect, and building a great work ethic is essential. Women and men working together is where we succeed as a society.

[DavySigfusson]

Everything that I hear from this woman is genius.

[ixlnxs]

Well said. Let boys be boys. Let girls be girls. A cousin of mine is the first male teacher in a kindergarten and brought a whole new perspective to his colleagues. He taught them the rough and tumble playing of boys is just that - playing. His female colleagues had always told the boys to "stop fighting"

[Bloodredtyrant]

Men value problem solving. Women value community. Those two views are not mutually exclusive. Rather than saying that one approach is better than the other, we can value both approaches equally. Women should not be scorned for wanting to share their problems. Men should not be belittled for seeking practical solutions. They can come together and create a community of problem solvers!

[tom]

We should encourage boys to be themselves, instead of encouraging them to conform to societies idea of "masculinity". And we should be doing the same for girls and femininity.

[theinsectmanofwv]

As a retired middle school teacher my take on ADHD was it should be "Absent Dad in the Home Disorder".
That said, boys are stifled by the way schools are set up.
Homeschooling is the way to go.

[planetary]

Can we agree being either too feminine or too masculine is bad for both sexes? Can we try to aim for intelligence and decency above both? I see men either too masculine or too feminine and I see women either too feminine or, rarely, too masculine.

[angledcoathanger]

The whole telling men to cry more bullshit is so catastrophically misguided. You can't impose self expression on someone. And furthermore, if you want men to show weakness, create a context in which it won't be to their detriment, which currently, it absolutely is. There's a reason men need to be strong; women like it, and if you are poor or weak as a man people will avoid you rather than come to your aid like they would a damsel in distress.

[fewis]

reject modernity, embrace masculinity

[thebarbarik]

There is no toxic masculinity, there is toxic individuals, that's it.

[MrTwotimess]

What type of mother will hurt any of her offspring? Feminists seem to have no problem breaking their male children's spirit. If anyone treated my son like a 2nd class citizen, I'd kick up a fuss. If that person is my wife, she can go to hell. Both genders are valuable and we as parents should not encourage or contribute to the devaluation of their beings.

[killertpu]

Masculinity is important for every male. Whether you like it or not, males and females, boys and girls, are two different coins. They are a lot of difference and the similarities are merely in species.

Masculinty is important for men, Chivalry (and not the today's BS chivalry. I'm talking about middle ages Chivalry; the one that's a quarter about treating a woman right and the rest is just about martial prowess), and gentlemanly behavior.

Feminism is trying to ruin this biologically natural disposition through brainwashing, guilt-tripping, and medication (Have you seen how docs are pumping up kids with meds now? Just because they were moving in their chair too much?). Adding the fact that marriage is basically dead (50% divorce rate in NA) which leaves boys without proper masculine role models and psychologically damages them (extending this to girls as well. Divorce is nasty, it affects everyone).

TL;DR: MASCULINITY IS IMPORTANT FOR ALL MALES/BOYS. IT'S HUMAN NATURE!

[roger]

Masculinity is what these boys need and men do express their emotions. When men get emotional it turns to rage and anger when women get emotional they cry and start shaking.

[THEKaitlynjanetm]

I think we all need to stop blaming one particular group of people and realize that we all have a part to play in this. Women and men. Old and young. Black and white. Rich or poor.
There is not just ONE group that is at fault. Because there are good and bad people in every group.
Stop focusing on WHAT we are. And start paying attention to WHO we are.

Yes, we all have differences.
But we also have much more in common than you might think.