How Didn't I Know About My DID?

Hindsight is 20/20

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[kylapereles-strickler]

If TLC can make a show about people not knowing they are pregnant then a person can not know they have DID

[sleepyselkiesiren]

This is basically how I didn't know I have anxiety and sensory processing disorder; if you don't know any other way of living, you just assume everyone else feels the same

[Aby]

The fact that DID caused me to not have any knowledge of my entire childhood did not even seem odd to me. I figured memories didn't form when you're that young. You don't remember being born, after all. So it's not weird to not remember middle school.
I also figured that you can only have a certain amount of memories at a time, so it makes sense that you can't store them all, and only remember half of the time even when you're an adult.
I had all of these assumptions about how the brain normally works, and none of them were accurate whatsoever, lol. In the end, I think it was a therapist who first told me that I should probably, you know, have memories.
It's amazing what we tell ourselves when there's no point of comparison.

[savannam.]

My mom had no idea she had DID for a long time. Not until almost her mid-twenties. She knew she was losing time and she was told her personality sometimes drastically changed, but she figured it was all of the drinking and partying. So she stopped doing those things and not surprisingly, her time loss and "mood swings" (as described by others, ) continued. It wasn't until someone she didn't know came up to her on the street, called her by another name (the most prominent alter still besides my mother herself) and was alluding to... Intimate activities my mother had no recollection of. Being as that she was completely sober, she started piecing some of it together, realized her brain friends were real, got in with therapists, and now lives in general harmony with her alters. That's obviously simplifying and paraphrasing A LOT, but it's the overall gist of things. When all you've ever known is one existence, you don't have anything to compare it to, in order to think It's not the usual way of things. Boundaries were established and everyone is more or less happy now!

[mirimiriela]

Another random phrase people say that can be a DID experience is "I was beside myself."

[delphinidin]

On the subject of not recognizing people who know you... So my dad got assigned a lab mate on the first day of school in tenth grade. His lab mate's name was George, I believe. They got to know each other in science class. Later that same day, Dad saw George going toward the end of the line at lunch. Dad pulled George into line with him. George said, "Thanks! Who are you?"
George was not a system, however: he was an identical twin. :P

[tj]

I definitely didn't realize I had DID but looking back it's like I've been dropping hints to myself my entire life. The skewed view of DID in the media also contributed to this. I honestly thought that everyone had a chorus of voices in their head and I was just bad at managing mine.

[aliceplays]

the real question is.... which one of your headmates likes kfc??

[crg]

of course its completely different, but i can at least say that i relate with the "not knowing what you dont know". i spent the mayority of my teen years just thinking everyone really wanted to die from time to time, and that everyone just planned how to succesfully kill themselves before i was diagnosed with depression.
also, my little sister has boold pressure issues, and only two years ago we found out, so she spent almost to this point believing everyone felt like passing out after taking showers or just getting out of the bed, and that everyone just couldnt feel their fingers after doing the minimun of physical effort.

its so very weird to realise something in your body/mind doesnt work they way most other people do. you really have to re-think what is "normal"

[ZweiZombies]

0:08 D.I.D. is life *altering* ...



I'm probably the thousandths person making that one

[honeysplashh]

Me: I don't have DID, I'm just being delusional and trying to explain my stupidity and horrible memory!
Also me: omg I relate to almost everything in this video wth I have DID
Me again: what is wrong with you

[sea]

A phrase that I struggled w/ a lot as a system was having “second thoughts” about something bc my protectors would constantly squabble over what was best for me lol but I thought it was normal bc other people would talk about having second thoughts or talking to themselves when they needed help making a decision

[AlixHallow]

I have watched so many videos on people's DID experiences, and this comes closest to mine. I cannot put into words how comforting this is.

[this_is_diamond_rot]

You have a natural rhythm in your voice and I really appreciate that. It's comforting on a weird subconscious level.

[georgerobins]

With the "suddenly loving food that I've hated" thing, I noticed that, depending on who is fronting, we either love or despise peanut butter. It's the weirdest thing.

[uktlcty]

Lmao, I don't have DID but I can totally relate with the mind trying to explain things away, but like.. In a different way. I'm on the trans spectrum and bisexual, so there's a loooot I did and said in my childhood that I didn't realize were pretty queer until I figured myself out, including "every girl really really wants to be a boy sometimes. It's totally normal that I'm dressing up as one and forcing my friends to call me another name" or "see, [friend] also said [crush] is pretty. That probably means she wants to marry her too." Hdjsksksk, the delusion

[sammy]

Lol the childhood friends things was a big thing for me. I almost never remembered going over to their houses or what we did, and I only remember a few names. And I just figured 'I guess we were having so much fun it all just blurred together' or something. Whenever my mother asked what we did, I genuinely could not answer. Just "stuff" or vague like "played at the park" but beyond that? Not a clue.

The big groups thing also happened with us, when I was younger Jess would front when I had to be charismatic and I would just me like 'well I'm nervous so I guess I'm overcompensating?' But no, it was Jess.

[taylorfoulkrod_art]

I totally understand this feeling that you're describing! I feel like this is the same feeling that I had when I realized my sexuality and then I looked back on everything and it all just made sense. It's kind of like once you see it you can't unsee it and you're looking back at the things you did and the ways you felt going "ohhh.. I get it now".

[笑-sx]

it's amazing how much of my life makes sense if i look at it through a DID perspective.
i always had that thing with songs too, one time when i was little i'm sure i even hallucinated to hear an entire song which i heard just once the same day. i actually didn't realize this wasn't normal at all since months ago ??
this and the fact that even if i don't usually hear voices, sometimes some of my alters keep repeating phrases or concepts in my head when i'm repressing them. for one of them is even funny to do.
the thing with the ghost girl, i found out people with DID "feel" their alters' presence near them just a few days ago, and i had this for entire years with one of the protectors. i was afraid i was going insane because i "felt" and "saw" him everywhere, i even turned around when walking through empty streets because i was sure he was behind me. it wasn't creepy at all, i just felt his presence so much i didn't know how to even explain it.
then the severe episodes of derealization when i was little and all the missing pieces and memories and the changes in calligraphy and "mood" all throughout the years which i don't even know how to fill yet ??

everything seemed just so linear and normal to me.
it's scary how every single thing or episode can be connected to my alters in some way.

and i'm not even diagnosed yet. this is so frustrating

[river]

I thought all my alters were “imaginary friends” until this year. When I disassociated I thought I was just zoning out. And when I switched I thought that it was like normal to go on autopilot” bc a lot of people said “oh, yk those times when your brain just goes on autopilot?” And I was like “Yeah!”