Candy Store - Heathers: The Musical +LYRICS

(p) Yellow Sound Label owns this music, not me. But enjoy!

H. CHANDLER:
Are we gonna have a problem?
You got a bone to pick?
You’ve come so far,
Why now are you pulling on my dick?
I’d normally slap your face off,
And everyone here could watch.
But I’m feeling nice.
Here’s some advice.
Listen up, biotch!

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Lookin’ hot
Buying stuff they cannot

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Drinkin’ hard
Maxin’ Dad’s credit card

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Skippin’ gym
Scaring her
Screwing him

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Killer clothes

HEATHERS:
Kickin’ nerds in the nose!

H. CHANDLER:
If you lack the balls
You can go play dolls
Let your mommy fix you a snack

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Woah!

H. CHANDLER:
Or you could come smoke
Pound some rum and coke
In my Porsha with the quarterback

HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
It’s time for you to prove
You’re not a loser anymore
Then step into my candy store

H. CHANDLER & H. MCNAMARA:
Guys fall

H. DUKE:
At your feet
Pay the check

H. MCNAMARA:
Help you cheat

HEATHERS:
All you

H. DUKE:
Have to do

H. CHANDLER:
Say goodbye to Shamoo

HEATHERS:
That freak’s

H. MCNAMARA:
Not your friend
I can tell in the end

HEATHERS:
If she

H. MCNAMARA:
Had your shot

HEATHERS:
She would leave you to rot

H. MCNAMARA:
‘Course if you don’t care
Fine! Go braid her hair
Maybe Sesame Street is on

HEATHERS:
Woah!

H. MCNAMARA:
Or forget the creep

H. DUKE:
And get in my jeep

H. CHANDLER:
Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn

HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
You just gotta prove
You’re not a pussy anymore
Then step into my candy store

H. CHANDLER:
You can join the team

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can bitch and moan

H. CHANDLER:
You can live the dream

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can die alone

H. CHANDLER:
You can fly with eagles

HEATHERS:
Or if you prefer

H. CHANDLER:
Keep on testing me

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
And end up like her!

MARTHA:
Veronica, look!
Ram invited me to his homecoming party.
This proves he’s been thinking about me.

VERONICA:
Color me stoked.

MARTHA:
I’m so happy!

HEATHERS:
Woah!

H. DUKE:
Honey, whachu waiting fo—

H. CHANDLER: H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Step into my candy store! Time for you to prove
Oooh woah! Woah oh oh! You’re not a lame ass anymore
Then step into my candy store

HEATHERS:
It’s my candy store
It’s my candy
It’s my candy store
It’s my candy
It’s my candy store

[titanlordkadaevr]

Veronica:
"I am not throwin' away my shot"

[lottiegf]

God damn the harmonies in the second chorus just really float my boat

[elisacostas]

This song takes peer pressure to a whole other level

[editlark]

A little fan theory:

On the "candy store" harmony, Heather Mac singing the high harmony symbolizes the amount of stress/pressure she has to take to be part of the Heathers. The stress is on her, which is why she has to sing the high harmony, which is the most stressful. Heather Duke sings the low harmony because she will always be below Heather Chandler, so it symbolizes her status in the Heathers and in Westerburg as a whole. Finally, Heather Chandler sings the melody because she is the center of attention, the face of the Heathers, so she obviously gets the most important harmony.

[mekaylaowo]

I love how Heathers starts off like a typical mean girl story then turns into an epic drama where there is a shit ton of murder and fucking.

[welpshi]

This song just screams "come to the darkside we have cookies"

[evaporatedwater]

Regina George: They might insult your clothing, or make fun of your name.

Heathers: kick nerds in the nose and beat up people

[abbymccubbins]

I know I cannot be the only possible one who is totally going crazy over Heather Chandler's "biatch"

[_xxpurplequeenxx_]

I just realized that the name "Shamoo" is actually the name of a huge killer whale named Shamu that died in 1971. They compared Martha to Shamu... *damn.*

[Gigi-xryf]

The amount of times I've listened to this song is unhealthy

[lovewamen]

bro that part where martha's like, "i'm so happy!" crushes my soul

[leotheoreganoman]

Unpopular opinion: Heathers and Mean Girls are both amazing stories with amazing characters and are iconic seperately and they shouldnt be compared as much as they are

[noapl]

The huge "SHUT UP HEATHER" makes me laugh every time omg.

[Hannah_Z]

I swoon so majorly when I hear Heather McNamara's harmonies holy shit

[harleysboo]

Just a note:
You know how in this song, they say 'Prove you're not a loser', then 'Proven you're not a pussy' in the next verse and lastly, they say 'Prove you're not a lame-ass' This is because:

In the original set-up, they stand in this order: McNarama, Chandler, Duke. Heather McNarama isn't as bad as the other two, so they first say 'loser', which isn't a swear.

Then they say 'Pxssy', which is probably the worst, signifying Chandler, the worst and meanest.

Last, they say 'Lame-ass', which is not too bad, but some people consider is a swear. Duke is not too bad, but some people consider her really mean.

[brittanystebbins]

The question is, will my school let me perform this with little to no changes.

[joesssaucey]

SO LISTEN UP
**grandma walks in**
ʙɪᴀᴛᴄʜ

[rubyreloaded]

One time Heather Chandler punched me in the face.


It was awesome.

[macaronweasley]

Me: **makes a musicals playlist**

Playlist: they'll tell the story of tonight.... ARE WE GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM

[impayn]

I'm just here running away from that doorknob...