11 minutes of stupid kids

r/kidsarestupid Top Posts , The Best Of r/kidsarestupid

Today we take a look at the Top Posts from the r/kidsarestupid subreddit. Enjoy!

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[yungsidearm]

when i was a kid i was really obsessed with fire alarms for some reason. i had a whole collection of the things you pull to make them go off. i also would run around my backyard screaming like i was a fire alarm. my family members still say that was their least favorite phase i went through.

[yeeyee]

When I first tried peas, instead of eating them, I slammed my face really hard on the table, laughed like I was ok, and broke my nose in the process. Fun times.

[robblequoffle]

I have probably told this story a thousand times, but it's my favorite one.
When I was 6 or 7 years old, I wanted to reheat some pizza in the microwave.
Now, if you are microwaving pizza, you just put it in for a few seconds, maybe 10-30 seconds. But I decided to read the box, which said "5-10 minutes".
That was how long you were supposed to cook it... IN THE OVEN. But I didn't realize that, so I put it into the microwave for that amount of time.
I vividly remember that there was a giant black plume of smoke spreading across the ceiling, when there was around a minute left. I asked for help because I was scared. Finally someone took it out of the microwave, and it was completely burnt. It was black.
I don't remember a lot from that moment, except for the pizza in the microwave. I think someone jokingly asked if I wanted to eat the charred black pizza.

[mew]

Whenever I cried as a baby, I would just full on pass out because I kept forgetting to breath. If we were in public and this happened, everyone would be freaking out and trying to see if I were ok. There was this other weird thing I used to do, me and my family had this van and, for some reason I had to poop. So my about 3 year old self took a dump behind the van.

[Stikbyte]

One time as a kid I was watching some play, and some kids were shouting stuff out and being loud. I remember dumb little me was like “Oh that’s funny, let me try that” and at the very end of the play when someone walked onto the stage to say “shows over” I yelled at the top of my lungs “HEY THE PLAYS OVER” Everyone stared at me

I was a stupid child

[kbitytm]

1 time as a kid i decided to try and hold my breath underwater as long as i could
woke up in hospital 💀

[LoGo]

When I was a little (probably like 4-5) my cousin gave me $5 for something I did I forgot what, but my mom thought I had stole it and told me off for it. I then hid the $5 inside my dresser drawer and it was there for 3+ years. Whenever I thought about it I felt really bad for no good reason, so I ended the torture by ripping the dollar in half and sticking it at the very bottom of the trash can. I was and still am incredibly stupid.

[TheRealCCall]

When I was 11, my friend had a really annoying little brother. Keep in mind when I was 11 I didn’t know how powerful velocity really was. I took off my shoe from atop the 15 ft high slide and dropped it on the kids head. I even dropped on my own head a few inches above me to see how much it would hurt. After I dropped it, the kid immediately began crying. Not wanting to end my friendship with my friend, I waited till they walked away, walked down and put on my shoe. I still feel guilty about it because I most likely gave that kid a concussion.

[scribblecreations]

I was crapping myself on my dads boat and my dad, being my dad, cut off my underwear and tossed it into the water. I was bawling all the way home because apparently those were my ‘favorite’ underwear. That same night my dad told mom what happened and I was hysterically laughing, realizing how brain dead I had been earlier.

[EmoFemboyHunter]

When I was about 7 I thought AIDS was something you got if someone spat on you or got any body fluids on you regardless on if they had AIDS or not. I was super paranoid if someone accidentally spat while talking and once on a car ride with some of my friends, one was talking and he accidentally spat on me while talking and I screamed, “STOP, I’M GONNA GET AIDS!!”. Needless to say, him, his brother, their mom, and my mom were not impressed.

[yessqueen._klawed]

When I was 4 or 5, I felt my 6-year-old molars coming in. I shouted out, "MOMMY, MY TOOTH IS WIGGLY!'"
I then got up and went to the kitchen, happy and excited I was 'gonna loose a tooth'.
I was so happy I even told my dentist.

My little 4-year-old brain had not yet known the actual process of loosing a tooth.

[greenbeastofthehiddenleaf]

7:20 damn, the last one on that paper, is relatable for me i'm not kidding

[bunny]

When I was a kid I had lucid dreams where I could fly and they were extremely vivid like it felt completely the same as being awake but to fly I had to throw myself down the stairs so i ended up throwing myself down the stairs way to many times while awake

[sapienshalt]

When I was like 6, I thought the little dots on asphalt were trash, so I sweeped over them with a trash bag, in hopes of collecting them. Of course, it did not work so I tried to scrub them off. When that failed aswell, I just gave up and just straight up imagined a trash bag between my feet so I could at least collect them in my imagination.

[crystalgriffiths]

For anyone interested in the plural of “octopus”. The origins are Greek for eight foot. If Greeks pluralised the word, it would become “octopodes”. The (non-existent) word “octopi) would be derived from Latin origins.
To be technical, you may still say “octopodes”, but unless you work in the field, in our era we would just use the term “octopuses” (the same for platypus>platypodes or platypuses, but not platypi.
The rules for Latin are more confusing, so if unsure about how to pluralise a word, just use the English term and add an “-es” to the word (even cactuses, syllabuses, etc)

[birdelicious-hd]

When I was a kid, like 4 or 5 me and my friends were incredibly stupid. One time around Christmas we had a Christmas tree up with some soviet time glass ornaments and one of my friends thought it was a good idea to eat them. To be good friends me and my other friend also tried. I wouldn't want to be my mother when she found three crying toddlers with blood FLOWING from their mouths and next to them broken Christmas ornaments.

[soraaangel]

I like how dom forgets that he mistaked Judaism for Satan and apologies for the math problem no one care abt.

[agentkarma]

8:30 A GRAMMARLY AD POPPED UP AFTER THAT LOLOL 😂😂😂

[mariorockersxd]

As a child, I once put soap in my mouth because I thought since it makes bubbles like soda, it would TASTE like soda. I don’t make those mistakes anymore. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go eat a tidepod burger

[Jek-]

Hey dom



This one time, i went to my aunts all the way in poland.

They had a bathroom with a toilet and foot-bath. You can guess what happens when a tired 5 yr old needs to pee when the toilet and footbath look the same.
I got caught pooing in the foot-bath by my mother.