If Your Parents' Lies Were True

So THAT'S how watermelons are made.

#sotrueyall #itsasouthernthing

[kevinriley]

My dad told me that monsters don't live in my bedroom but they do live in mommy & daddy's bedroom & their favorite food is little boys that don't knock.

[blkhemi]

*Every math teacher ever*
"You wont ever just have a calculator in your pocket"

[kevinriley]

You forgot the "if you crack your knuckles, you'll get arthritis"

[samanthasowell]

When I was about 35 weeks pregnant a man walked up to the register at the store I worked in and said, "Somebody's been eating watermelons. " under his breath. I 😐and said I heard that. No I didn't eat all the chewing gum I swallowed. He bout lost it. Lol

[ROGER]

I had perfect attendance in High School and the guidance counselor assured me that it would help me in the future. I'm 67 now and not once in my life has anyone ever asked.
Also, except for crosswords and trivia contests, I've never needed to know the State Capitols.

[virgochick]

My mom used to tell me we'd get pulled over for me using the overhead light at night. hahaha.

[goodycitizen]

My favorite was “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” Lies, all lies!!😂

[circlepfarm]

Remember that the kids in China are starving and you won’t finish your supper?

[edwardbartoneb]

There has to be a second episode of this.
"If you keep crossing your eyes they'll stick like that forever."

[tdl]

'Lisa Frank glitter unicorn pencil with rainbow eraser'
That brings back elementary memories!

[jcoop]

I want to see the bloopers from the "your face is gonna freeze that way" scene! I don't know how they kept a straight face doing that, I would've been cracking up on every take!

[amalzuhair]

My parents never lied they just liked to embellish their stories.

[gracecooper]

I remember when I was 3 I was eating cherries and I swallowed a pit and I came to my mom all worried and she was like oh no I guess you need to go stand out side in the sun so the tree can grow and we can pick cherries off of you. I freaked out

[circlepfarm]

The PERMANENT RECORD thing is legendary. I’m 67 and still afraid of it!

[CPB]

Geeat job...here are 10 I am sure you had to skip:
1. Crossing your eyes ....they will get stuck
2. Eating raw cookie worms
3. Waiting an hour after you ate....drown
4. If you sit too close to eyed
5. If you pee in the dye
6. If you swallow your gum..will stick in stomach
7. Spot went to live on a farm...died
8. Touching a
9. Sneezing with eyes open...pop out
And finally
10. Crack your
Direct from a Georgia Boy.

[katlulu]

Let’s not overlook “what will the neighbors think?”

[Tishers]

still waitin on that crop of potatoes to grow out of my brother"s ears.

[thebeardedlady]

The guy who could make that face and hold it through the whole scene has some serious talent! I would’ve cracked up or broken character. Nice one!

[mariabarker]

"You had watermelon.... without me?"
Oh the betrayal!

[tjenki]

Lol, I remember hearing the watermelon rumor when I was a kid. Terrified me! :P
Also, "How do you see at night?". Lol!